marathon? eep!

goal for 2008: raise little wise ass political rebels of my very own

2008-01-10T19:33:00.001-04:00

so right now, i have to admit that i am a little bitchy, thanks to my back and the fact that i have to wrap my torso in order to not fall into a heap. damn spine... back pain sucks, and it makes me feel old and rickety; i don't feel like my usual spry self. i HATE that. but to more important subjects...

i suppose that i wear my political heart on my sleeve, in that i'm fairly vocal about my utter disdain for the establishment (or, more correctly, the establishment of the past 8 years). oh well. but, in the classroom, i try to at least avoid revealing my true political colors because, really, it's a setting meant to focus on the students and not on the teacher. at the same time, i think it's vitally important that my kids be aware of the candidates, the issues, the election, and the whole effect it has on our nation and their lives. maybe that's a tall, idealistic, and unrealistic order when it comes to twelve year olds, but that never stops me from trying.

anyway... as our warm-ups in English class, i've had them think of what could happen if nobody voted, what like might be like without the right to vote, and what they might do if elected president. as it turns out, they had Really Good answers, and the responses were surprisingly left-leaning. you have to understand--essex and the surrounding area are quite conservative and right-wing, and there was a good deal of outcry when o'malley defeated ehrlich in the MD gubernatorial race. they were suggesting that taxes be lowered for the middle class, the troops be brought home, standardized testing be dropped because it hurts schools, and (this one surprised me the most, in that they were even aware of it) improve access to healthcare for the poor and the elderly. !!! that's impressive. there will be cynics that say that my kids are just being parrots after hearing their parents talk, but even if that is true, it's a win-win situation. if they are simply repeating things, that means it's being discussed at home, and the kids are exposed to and being a part of it. and if not, that means the views are theirs, which is pretty damn incredible.

even more fun after all of that--the kids starting asking a lot of quesitons about how the government works, and then somehow we ended up talking about richard nixon and impeachment and gerald ford. i'm lucky they never moved on to bill clinton... the fact that they're even curious and have a million questions excites me to no end, and it places me in a very... what's the word... in a situation where i have to be very mindful of what i say because, as the teacher, i can heavily influence the discussion. i don't want them to register a certain way, vote party line, etc., etc. all i want is for them to be curious, to ask the questions, to search for answers, to form their own opinions, and to be active in the process. and, at least for 48 minutes a day, they are. and that makes me happy.

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack......

2008-01-05T14:47:00.000-04:00

i'm switching back to blogger so that people who can't read myspace can keep up with me here. downside--no email notifications, but oh well. nothing interesting so far today, but keep checking. i'll be around eventually.

d'oh.

2007-07-30T16:01:00.001-04:00

apparently, my esotericism is my undoing.

*sigh*

mine muse doth provoketh me...eth.

2007-07-30T15:36:00.000-04:00

i now have a muse. self-appointed, but thoughtful and enlightened nonetheless.

once again, this evening, Muse and i ventured into philosophical territories and found ourselves involved in a discourse on the profundities of knowledge of others. this doesn't mean, "ooh, ooh, i know kevin bacon!" what we were exploring was a foundational understanding of who a person is at his or her core. this conversation was going well, and then Muse posed the view that it is unimportant that another person knows every piece and every facet of oneself. if the self has the details, what else does the self need? (i hope that i correctly represented Muse's point of view... if i'm inaccurate, i'll personally resign from my position in the government of the small latin american country that Muse rules during leisure hours)

anyway, upon reflection, i realized that not only am i unsatisfied with that supposition, but i am also displeased with my initial response. here is my second offering, which i hope to be more enlightening and intellectually annoying:

to get to the relational core of the issue, it's edifying to look at the subject in the context of love. (yes, here i go again. deal with it.) of course, we're wielding the very weighty connotations and the more elusive denotations of "love" and "knowledge" in this conversation, and we're also assuming that we can enact this emotion or state of being or what have you with as complete an understanding as we can. we have to remind ourselves of the fluidity of these consuming concepts as we put forth our arguments. but i digress.

is it not an essential piece of love, to know the beloved on such an elevated plane of intimacy? isn't it part of love's nature to continuously evolve in the knowledge of every aspect of the beloved's being? what is the nature of this knowledge? what form does it take? isn't a manifestation and in fact the lifeblood of knowledge the communication of itself, thus feeding and growing the connection[s] between the lover and the beloved? it's an endless investigation, and in love, there is the inherent desire to be known. the withholding of knowledge, and indeed the lack of interest in it, is often seen as a breach of the bond of love itself.

thus, my ultimate question:

if another's such knowledge is deemed unimportant and nonessential for oneself, is it at all possible to genuinely participate in something so intrinsically communal as love?

mileage (pt. 1) + nature

2007-07-28T13:59:00.000-04:00

despite last night's insomnia, i was able to do a good little run on the NCR trail. note to self: don't run at 1PM when the heat index is over 90-some degrees. the shade was a god-send. anyway, i had a little issue with cramping and breathing due to the humidity, but i did an easy 20 minutes. i have no clue how far i went, as i didn't pay attention to the markers, but whatever. my L leg is still annoying me, but it wasn't so bad that i had to stop; i just slowed down until i was comfortable. now's time for an ice bath. yee haw!

i took plenty of time after running to stretch and relax in the shade, and while i was doing so, a sizeable black and yellow butterfly fluttered by and landed on a bush right next to me. then a female cardinal flew back and forth between the trees nearby. plenty of other birds, as well as a number of insects, were chiming in, and a breeze was blowing small leaves across the tops of the high grasses. even though this was very close to Paper Mill Rd, you really wouldn't notice it because it was serene and quiet. this is one reason why i love running: the unending nurturing of appreciation for the life and beauty around you.

mileage and insomnia

2007-07-28T02:19:00.000-04:00

this has been a poor week, mileage-wise. i'd overdone it with that wicked biking/running on sunday, so consequently i took monday and tuesday off to rest my very sore legs. then, wednesday, i got hit with a fever, which didn't break until thursday night. thus, i didn't get to train again until today. initially, it was a bit aggravating, but, thanks to brendan [h], i stopped worrying and just relaxed. sure enough, today's was a great workout. i just did 20 laps (1000m-0.6 miles) in the pool without stopping. sure, i won't have walls for push-off in the river (duh), but i'm still glad that i could manage it. i'm also very pleased because i figured out one reason why i'd been having trouble with freestyle; my breathing rhythm was off. it was much better once i fixed it, and even though it's still not very strong, it could still help me come race morning.

which, by the way, is only FIFTEEN DAYS AWAY. yikes. but yikes in a very good way. and funny thing--not only has laurie offered her good bike for me to borrow, but the shop was in fact able to fix my bike. from a dearth to a plethora. weird how that works.

and i can't sleep. it's weird. i haven't slept soundly this entire week, and tonight is the worst. i went to bed pretty tired at 10-ish and woke up at 12:30AM. i've been awake ever since. it's not all bad. haven't had warm milk to drink in awhile, and that's pretty yum. okay, that's weird, but whatever. i also have had time to relax and think about a few things like priorities and goals. i'm also creating something new: a life list of races/places to run. so far, i have the valley of fire [half] marathon*, the empire state building run-up, the army 10, the celtic solstice (here in dru hill park), the village of mata-solana (spain), and, by far the coolest on the list yet, THE GREAT WALL MARATHON. yes, that great wall. like i said, this is a life list, and it's bound to grow and shrink as the years go by. but i'm determined to enjoy life as much as possible, and adventure running is one of the best ways to do that!

*i'm bagging valley of fire for this year due to $$$ and the fact that i'll never be given the extra day off that i need. suck.

oh, and brendan [c] wants me to add the Death Valley marathon. that boy is insane. but if he dares me, i'll probably do it. i'm dumb that way.

iPod game, modified

2007-07-23T14:44:00.000-04:00

so here's the idea. i'll post some lyrics from songs that are shuffling on my iPod right now. if you can guess ALL ten songs and the artists correctly, you'll get a prize. a gold star or something. or points. we'll see how good your answers are. here it goes:

1. Shine through times with rhymes bright like yellow
Taste and swallow, lead and never follow,
Break it like a bottle

2. I was the pirate, she was the queen
Sir Francis and Elizabeth, the best there's ever been
Then she strolled past my table and stopped at the stairs
Then sent me a smile as she reached for Flaubert

3. hard one--Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone (hint: *cow bell*)

4. Well, I'm standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see (i've actually been to Winslow, AZ)

5. You run your finger round the rim of his glass
You run your fingers through his hair
They scratch across his back

6. give source of the dialogue & the name of the song after it:
I love you, Pumpkin... I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
Any of you fucking pricks move,
And I'll execute every mother-fucking last one of you!

7. We're blessed with the force and the sight of electronics
With the bass, and the treble, the horns and our vocals

8. I think of us someplace
High on a mountain
Smoke clears
Fog lifts
Little by little
We'll rebuild again

9. If you're alive at thirty-three
And you're turning tricks
With your crucifix.
You're a star, oh child.

10. Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed I'd love somebody like you

there you go. you'll get extra points and gold stars and possibly the prize behind Door 3 if you can make a conjecture about my personality based on the songs above.

***i was told that this (as originally posted on my myspace blog) was ridiculously hard. in deference to the individual who castigated me, i'll list in random order the artists so that you can match things up.

U2, Jimmy Buffett, the Eagles, Pulp Fiction, Jurassic 5, Chris Isaak(s?), Rage Against the Machine, Wallflowers, Blue Oyster Cult, Dire Straits

the exhortation to decipher a piece of my personality still stands. now have at it!

excessive mileage, for which brendan [H] must be punished

2007-07-22T19:43:00.000-04:00

i love the hanraman. but my ass has officially put a hit out on him. see, brendan has been the most wonderful and helpful unofficial coach that i could have ever asked for, and he has provided me with hints, tips and workouts that will really help me go the distance.

that said, my legs now want to destroy him. here's the workout:

5 miles bike, 1 mile run.
do three times.

seriously, it's harder than it sounds. it took me ~2 hours to do the whole damn thing. and i just got out of a 20 minute ice bath and am parked on this recliner because i'm too tired and/or sore to move.

brendan had better hope i survive this stupid triathlon...

;)

random pic: Montana

2007-07-20T00:44:00.000-04:00

another survey from kim

2007-07-19T16:51:00.000-04:00

50 Questions: From Kim's blog, from Lisa's myspace.

1. Story behind your MySpace song? i just like steve miller band

2. What's bothering you right now? my R hamstring

3. Do you close the door when you pee? not discussing personal hygiene habits. eww.

DESCRIBE YOUR:

4. Wallet? crimson

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? savage chickens' thoreau cartoon

6. Background on your cell phone? an extreme close-up of toby

7. Jewelry worn daily? usually a watch, maybe earrings

8. Where was your default picture was taken? years ago, at a conference track meet

9. Eyes: 'oceany' blue :)

10. Life: messy but in a good way

11. House: it's not--it's an apartment. but it's relaxed and comfortable.

WHAT ARE YOU...

12. Doing this weekend? running, swimming, seeing 'transformers', reading, probably doing something w/ brian and probably rom too

13. Wearing? long brown shorts and baller t-shirt

14. Wanting? deep tissue massage

15. Where are you? at home

16. Listening to? DDT (jurassic 5)

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named brittney? No.

18. What do you smell like? me

19. Eating? nope

20. What is your favorite thing? words

21. Do you believe in a soul mate? if there is such a thing, i haven't met mine yet. no rush.

23. Do you remember your dreams? mostly

24. Do you believe dreams come true? yeah. only catch is that you have to make the real ones come true on your own. those are the best kind.

25. Do you believe in miracles? yeah

26. Do you burn easily in the sun? once in the summer, and then i'm okay for the rest of the season

27. Do you speak another language other than English? bits and pieces of spanish, french and russian

28. What's something you wish you could understand better? human nature

29. What did you do last weekend? ran with the truffers, and i don't really remember the rest, aside from picking brian up from the airport

30. Who do you miss? nobody in particular right now

31. Have you ever been in a talent show? nope

32. Orange or apple juice? orange

33. Do you like the person who took this survey before you? yeah :)

34. What was the last text message you received? corey about passing his boards

35. Last text message you sent? 'congrats!' to corey

37. What is the closest thing to you that is blue? my baller shirt

38. What was the last thing you ate? subway club

39. Last person you hugged? my dad

40. Whose house did you go to last night? my parents'

41. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? my dad (a LONG time ago)

42. Do you like someone right now? well, hopefully a bunch of people. otherwise i'd be pretty alone and miserable.

43. What do you wear more, shorts, jeans or sweatpants? summer--shorts; fall & spring--jeans; winter--sweats

44. What is the last movie you watched? tristan & isolde

45. Have you ever punched a baby? que the hell?!

46. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? thrift store

47. Xbox 360 or NFL game tickets? NFL game tickets (preferably eagles or ravens).

48. Do you believe that you can change someone? nope

49. Who was the last person to make you laugh? collective effort of dad & toby

50. Where will your next vacation be located? hopefully the Valley of Fire state park; other than that, i don't have $$$ to entertain the idea.

i miss you, gpa

2007-07-18T08:46:00.000-04:00

a bike, a bike! my kingdom for a bike! oh, and some mileage too...

2007-07-17T16:07:00.001-04:00

still no word on the bike front. still have some time though.

today i did my first swim/bike/run workout. i only did half the distances, just so that i wouldn't kill myself, but it turned out fine. my goal is to make sure that my body can be active for 3 straight hours because i'm estimating that that's the least amount of time i'll need to finish. today, i spent 1 hr, 15 min working out, broken down this way:

a) swim: 20 min (675m--race will be 1000m)
b) bike: 35 min (5-ish miles--race will be 14.5)
c) run: 20 min (1.7 miles--race will be 2.8)

today was the first day that the gym's pool was open, and i'm thrilled. two surprises: water was very chlorine-y, so it was pretty murky, and they hadn't set the temperature yet, so it was 70 degrees, if that. diving in was fairly odd; it certainly didn't feel like a real pool, and i had no concept of where the bottom was (10' deep, so i wasn't in danger of hitting my head or anything). i'd forgotten my goggles, so my eyes were closed (*contacts*), and it just felt... weird, a little disorienting even. but, all of that is actually good because the susquehanna river is not a hot spring. i'll be happy to not have to swim through an oil slick. but anyway. i alternated strokes, which was really helpful, and overall, i'm very pleased with the swim.

i expected to be tired on the bike but not as much as i was. more surprising, i didn't really recover much, even though i was taking it easy. it was the longest 35 minutes ever. bleh.

the run was far better, and i was taken aback when my second wind came then. i figured that, by then, my body would have had enough and would want to just stop. maybe it's because i was the most conservative there; i wanted to try to do the whole 20 minutes, instead of trying to be fast and crapping out at 10. also, maybe i was able to do it because i did give myself an out. i told myself that, if i start to feel shitty and/or achy and/or in pain, i will stop. i don't want to hurt myself trying to be a hero a month before the race. there's no need. knowing that i could step back if i needed to helped me slowly put one foot in front of the other.

all in all, it was probably one of the hardest workouts i've ever done because i haven't done anything like it. it hasn't made me feel the most awful, but the combination of disciplines and the constant (well, relatively) movement was quite challenging. that said, now that i've finished this one, i know that i can do another one. i am so excited for this triathlon!

now all i need is a bike...

mileage with the truffers and reflections on my grandfather

2007-07-14T13:56:00.000-04:00

it was so nice to have new running partners and new scenery this morning. we wound our way around mt. airy, and it was quite pretty, if not very hilly. the weather cooperated as well, with lots of sun and refreshing breezes. we ran around 56 or so minutes, and, as we took a turn that erika originally didn't intend to make, i'm not sure how far we actually ran. perhaps 4 1/2 miles? i think that's what was decided.

i'm so glad that i took yesterday off. i'm no longer feeling like junk, and i look forward to tomorrow's swim+bike workout. however, i am not looking forward to this wednesday. my dad and i are running the harrisburg mile. normally, that's a fun, great race. but my grandfather passed away on the race day last year. dad had signed up but didn't want to do it, but my mom insisted, saying that grandpa would be pissed if we didn't do the things we enjoy on account of him. so dad and my uncle did it together, and it was so good for them both. this year, my dad and i plan on running it in memory of grandpa (he was there to cheer me on at xc and track meets as often as he could), and i don't know how i'm going to hold up. i'm already in tears right now, in part because i can't believe that it's been a year. grandpa and i were very close, and i'm so thankful to have been a part of his life. also, seeing my dad struggling and in tears just rips me apart; last year, i could barely handle the fact that my father was in so much pain. i think that, as a defense against inner collapse, he allowed his military face take over, and while he did cry and everything, he held so much inside. but i know my dad better than that. i do know that grandpa would smack us both for being so sad, and what lifts me from the grief is this memory of him from a few years ago. he had this bucket had that he wore everywhere, and he had this sort of really goofy grin that he'd show when he wanted to be silly. my grandpa wasn't much for showing his emotions at all, but when he did, it was fantastic. remembering him in that hat always makes me laugh; that's how i want him to stay.

i miss him.

yesterday's mileage

2007-07-13T13:38:00.000-04:00

swam yesterday, and i'm very pleased because i went for the whole 35 minutes, whether or not it was the actual workout lengths. ended up doing 24 lengths of free + breaststroke, 16 lengths of sidestroke for warm-up & cool-down, and 20 lengths of random, just to keep moving. i also did 5 minutes of treading water, just to make sure i could in case i had issues and would need to rest during the tri. woo! i'm very pleased with the workout, although my R ear started to ache. i have to be really careful because i do NOT want an infection. i'm also a little concerned because i've been going for long periods without eating lately. i know i'm burning a bunch of calories, but i haven't felt hungry at all. i checked online, and apparently i should be consuming 2600 cals a day. i know that's not happening at all. that can't be good. don't know why this is happening...

i am tired and feeling like junk today. thank goodness that today's a rest day. that's a relief.

i am truly shocked, appalled and throwing up in my mouth...

2007-07-12T10:03:00.000-04:00

the morons at merriam-webster are once again doing their utmost to make us into a nation of unedimicated idiots. if you haven't read the article i've linked, they've carried out their annual up-date to the collegiate (collegiate!!!) dictionary, and they've decided to include words such as "ginormous," "crunk," and "smackdown." some of their past additions--"mouse potato," "soul patch," "drama queen," "unibrow," "bling bling," and "himbo."

are you kidding me?! i'm sure that murray and the members of the 19th century philological society of london (originators of the Oxford English Dictionary--the only *true* dictionary in my mind) are turning in their graves. the editors of m-w are appropriating slang and pop culture vocabulary, asserting that they're part of the standard american english lexicon. ironically, **by definition**, slang must stand outside the formal language! and, as is the nature of slang, the words fall out of use anyway. when was the last time we all said "bling bling"? anybody who doesn't live under a rock knows that it's been shortened, and even then, as fashions trends have evolved, it's a bit passe to be covered in the glitter. to flaunt one's wealth so overtly is now seen as a bit gauche. why can't we perpetuate the use of such vocabulary as passe (sorry, i can't figure out how to create an accented e) and gauche?! no wonder the verbal SAT scores suck these days...

the editors of m-w are debasing the effort to encourage a more learned vocabulary, one that then fosters more sophisticated and respected discourse in all fields. when i taught at UMD, i required that a student remove "vanilla" from his paper. while the word may be appropriate for creative fiction/poetry or perhaps even a study on popular culture, it is *not* fitting for a cost/benefit analysis of genetically modified crops. "that tomato crop is so vanilla" doesn't wash in scholarly and professional discourse.

i would say that the words soon to be admitted in the so-called "collegiate" dictionary should be relegated to a slang dictionary, as their use is so ephemeral, and students should be taught and required to use a more formal vocabulary in their daily work. side note--that's also a useful tactic in generally alleviating constant swearing; requiring a student choose another word to express his or her feelings often results in he or she finding more appropriate (and often more specific and interesting) phrases.

if m-w is going to adhere to and defend this practice, they ought not purport to be a scholarly representation of our lexicon. that is simply misleading and unprofessional. i'll just have to protest in my own little ways, to include general disdain and scathing mockery.

OED represent!

*this post also seen as bulletin on my myspace page.

mileage + technical difficulties and new wounds

2007-07-11T18:12:00.000-04:00

:D

first, yesterday's work. swim: 32 lengths, alternating freestyle & breaststroke. form and breathing has vastly improved, and i am much more confident. as a result, i'm that much more excited.

now today. i'm typing this without using my R middle finger... because i punctured it. but i'll get to that in a sec. bike: 85 min, B&A/BWI trails, from marley station mall to the airport and back.

THAT RIDE WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! reasons why:
1) longest ride i've ever done
2) most scenic, in terms of buildings, people, AIRPLANES
3) airplanes were landing and taking off over me. coooooooooooooool! (you can tell i'm a pilot's daughter because i think that's cooooooooooooooooool)
4) spoke with other cyclists along the way; neat comradery (sp?).
5) i am more proficient at trouble-shooting than i thought.

#5--i was riding along dorsey road and went to change gears when i heard a loud snap. the one lever had lost its control, but it didn't cause any immediate danger. i just couldn't use all ten speeds. once i'd reached my turn-around time at 42:30, i dismounted and checked it. as it turns out, the one gear cable had snapped. it is an older bike, so the cable was rusted in two places, and i think that it'd just reached its breaking point. FYI, don't go to In-Gear cycling in annville, pa; we paid those guys to clean up the bike, replace old, worn-out parts. seems they didn't. anyway, i was able to get back to the car, figure out the problem, and poke around. that's when my hand slipped, and my finger met something sharp on the bike. it's a relatively deep puncture, but it's been cleaned and bandaged, so i'm not too worried. i just have to clean it every morning, as these types of wounds are more prone to infection than lacerations. my goal is to not have a gangrenous finger.

I LOVED THIS RIDE!!!!!!!!!!

bank account alert: please read!

2007-07-10T13:50:00.000-04:00

guys, please check your bank accounts to make sure they haven't been tampered with. i got a letter yesterday stating that an employee from a middleman company (i'll explain that in a second) stole massive amounts of consumer info (acct #s, names, addresses, d.o.b.s, etc.) and sold it. this company is called Certegy, and they go between businesses and your bank, cashing your checks, etc., and giving the $$$ back to the businesses. if you're information has been compromised, you should have received a letter from Certegy by now, but even so, please please please double check your $$$. of course, it's not like i have any for them to steal, but they can really fuck with my credit. just look out, okay?

"someone stole my identity. i feel sorry for them."
-t bone burnett

yikes, mileage

2007-07-08T18:04:00.000-04:00

a stabbing in my neighborhood: yikes. anybody know positive ways to handle this sort of thing? i'm going to keep doing what i'm doing, with more care and an extra glance over my shoulder, etc., but any extra advice would help.

so that makes this feel a little superficial, but i don't want to be all paranoid and all that. anyway, i bagged the trail race i thought i'd want to do because my right leg woke me up in the middle of the night. instead, i went up to NCR and just did 35 minutes, easy. surprisingly, my legs felt very fresh. the weird part was that i felt as though i was carrying a 2x8 across my shoulders. seriously. after all that swimming, my shoulders feel so wide, and it definitely affected my arm carriage. but, it didn't take terribly long to get used to it, and i'll just be stretching a lot and get somebody to massage my back every so often. all said, i'm very excited for the triathlon. awesome.

pet peeve, mileage

2007-07-07T20:23:00.001-04:00

okay, i know there are little racing machine enthusiasts all around. however, said machines are noisy and intrusive for those of us trying to relax in the comfort of our own home. instead of zipping them up and down the parking lot, disturbing a large number of residents, how about taking the little machine across the street to one of the extra target parking lots? how about at shoppers next door? what about the elementary school or park within a mile's drive? hmm? hmmmm? i wouldn't be terribly upset if the little machine was run over...

so i'm a little behind in my reporting, so we'll see if i can remember the past few days' workouts.

Thursday: short, 15 min. swim (felt good)
Friday: 70 min bike (@ gym b/c of the bad heat)
Today:
a) 25 min. swim (25 lengths, plus extra lengths for wm up & cl down)
b) 45 min. bike (@ gym again b/c of bad heat and humidity)

i'm feeling a lot more comfortable with my two strokes and my breathing. yeehaw! only thing is that i did the swim and bike so on top of each other, and having not done that before, i was not prepared for the exhaustion carrying over... however, i survived and survived well. i'm also learning how my body feels after swimming. not sure how to explain it. my shoulders are also... not bulking up, but the shoulder portions in my shirts are tighter. :( i can't afford new clothes! but, the shoulder thing is supposed to be a good sign, right?

right?

bumps, heat, success, and mileage

2007-07-04T15:23:00.000-04:00

so i am the legend of the fall. falls. many falls. toby and i went for a hike with cj, courtney, four of their friends, and three other dogs, and we were out for about an hour and a half. wouldn't you know though, that i can't go a whole year without him injuring me. such was the case on sunday when he pulled me down a hill, and i scraped up my left forearm. awesome, toby. awesome.

monday, i attempted to make up for sunday's missed swim+bike workout by going for a run+bike combination. i had a good, short 20 minute run, but unfortunately, i was poorly hydrated and had eaten too close to workout time. consequently, i nearly passed out once i returned to the start. that was a tiny bit upsetting, but i worked hard, i tried, and that's that. at least i was able to do something.

yesterday's workout was much better, by far. a 30 minute swim was slated, and i did a ladder of lengths (not laps). i surprised myself because i was working so hard, but i completed it without numerous breaks. i took maybe two 1 minute breaks, a few 15 or 30 second breaks, and then the other recovery time was spent with the backstroke (or what passes for it, considering my experience). i did approximately 40 lengths (!) of the apt. pool, and that probably only translates to about 20 or 25 of a real pool. but, i still did it. yeehaw!!!!

today was the american visionary art museum's pet parade. i only heard about it because i'd accidentally left my radio alarm on, and npr did a short little blurb about it. so toby and i went to federal hill, and we had a blast. it'd take too long to describe it, so i'll just include a few pictures.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

:)

mileage, bike

2007-06-30T23:24:00.000-04:00

got on my bike today. the real bike. did the B&A trail, and i was really pleased. i haven't been on that particular bike in a while, so i had to adjust, play with the gears a little bit, etc., but overall, it was fine. it was particularly exciting to realize how good i felt, even after completing 9 1/2 miles. i'm successfully relaxing by just logging the time. no pressure! yes!

the only issue i had was my fear of falling. i don't remember having this fear as a child, but, since then, it's become quite amplified, and i'm terrified of my body going fast. perhaps it's that i have no sense of where my body is in space and thus lose control of it very quickly... anyway, this fear always emerges when my body is going fast and going downhill. not good for being on a bike. but, i did it! i was able to go the whole time without falling downhill! instead, i fell going uphill.

seriously. i did. this kid in front of me was having trouble going up, and he lost his balance and consequently fell to his left. i had to quickly adjust and swerved to miss him, but then i lost my balance and bit it, right into the fence on the left. he felt so guilty, even when i reassured him that i was fine. i really should have indicated that i was as close as i was, so it's probably partially my own dumb fault. anyway, that was my fall for the day, with the scars to prove it. but, i was out, had a good ride (60 min.), and enjoyed an absolutely beautiful day while doing it.

:)

mileage, calendar

2007-06-29T09:18:00.000-04:00

yesterday i worked on a training calendar that should take me all the way to the valley of fire half. i used a variety of sources, and it still needs to be more specific, but at least i got off to a good start by doing the 35 minutes slated. i ran with brian and duke and focused on a) safety in the heat, b) good form for efficient energy expenditure, and c) use of topography to my advantage (that just means running hills well). my core work paid off even more than i ever thought it would because my posture was excellent, which, in turn, kept my chest open for better breathing, even when i was tired. the fact that i even noticed the strength in those muscles is a good sign--people often underestimate the impact of abs on fitness; they just want the 6-pack. but anyway. brian and i and the dog did the loop by his house, and i extended it by 5 minutes by charging up the hill on bond st. ugh. even though it's a bitch of a hill, i was able to stay focused and speed back down, finishing strong just beyond brian's house. i'm really excited at how focused and disciplined i was, especially since yesterday was not good and that i was nervous about running in heat. yee-haw!

mileage + random

2007-06-27T19:56:00.000-04:00

so i have this book now. it's a good one. i can't find it or remember the title. but it's good and helpful. it's given me a perspective on training for the triathlon, and now i can stop pestering brendan ad nauseum. that's a relief; i hate being a pest. it also gives me a better idea of how i want to space my training so that i'm not worried as to how much or how little i should do. that said, here was my day:

swimming in the pool--
since it was relatively empty, i was able to do longer lengths that are closer to 25 meters. i did 5 laps breaststroke and 5 laps freestyle. initially, i was really worried because about 3 laps into the total 10, my chest started to close up. i had to stop in the middle and walk over to the side. i was upset that that'd happened, but then i just stopped, rested, and started again. i then focused on form and breathing. i guess i tend to do harder workouts than slower ones, which i should do instead so that i can focus on form and breathing. once i did that, i was fine and relaxed and able to finish.

gym--
i was on the elliptical for 2x15 minutes, going backward first, forward second. if i do elliptical, i always do backward for my hamstrings; it helps. after those 30 minutes, i did 15 minutes stretching and then worked on my hip flexors and abductors. did some sumo squats and some intense core work and came home to crash like a ton of bricks.

overall, i'm really pleased with how today went, and i'm tired but not sore. i'll be able to spend more time planning out the rest of the SEVEN WEEKS BEFORE THE TRIATHLON! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

adventures in the mundane.

2007-06-25T23:04:00.001-04:00

1) last week, i left the headlights on. cue 'groan' as i discover my gaff upon leaving work. luckily, i get a jump and am able to make it home. later, the car starts sufficiently despite its protests, so i deem it safe to drive to PA. i drive during the day so as to not use the headlights, and i go with the radio off and the windows down to save the extra juice, just in case. fast forward to today when the car coughs and sputters and only starts once i begin to pray because i can't have a broken car. i made it to work and then went to the shop immediately afterward in order to get it fixed. it was much cheaper than i thought it'd be, considering that the shop is part of the dealership, and they also did a great job. the car is good.

2) on friday, i logged a few miles running up in lebanon. it made me miss running in the country. lebanon is far from being the 'burbs, and it's so quiet and peaceful. i think i must have done 3 miles without even thinking about it. took the obligatory dip in my parents' pool afterward. it was a great run.

3) saturday was the hixson family reunion. it's kind of unfortunate because, for all that my cousins and i gripe about it, it is something really special that not every family has, and this year, attendance was at an all-time low. to get an idea of what i'm talking about--my grandfather has six living sisters, each of whom is married and has at least two children, and those children are also married and have at least two children. taken at the bare minimum then (i cannot for the life of me remember who's who and stuff), that's ... 60 people? throw in my grandfather's contigent, and that's about 90 people. attendance on saturday? 28. sure, my dad and i were still the hecklers in the back row during the "family entertainment hour," but i just wish more could have shown, which would have delighted my grandfather. the man is 84, after all.

4) saturday night, i met up with corey shepler for dinner at a tavern in kleinfeltersville (little itty, bitty town east of lebanon). i haven't really talked to corey in ~10 years, and while driving to the tavern, i was a little nervous... would we have anything to talk about? would we even get along? how different are we now? as it turns out, neither of us would shut up for the whole time, we laughed for hours on end, and while we've definitely grown, our friendship seems to have picked up exactly where it left off in 1997. and apparently, i should still be called "catherine the great." corey still won't tell me what that means.

5) on sunday, i was exhausted. i'd been trying to sleep on an uncomfortably firm mattress and having nightmares, so i basically crashed on the couch as soon as i got back from the early service at st. andrews. since there was no time for workouts on saturday though, i did jump in the pool with half an intention to get laps and drills in. the breathing drills went surprisingly well, and even just the small bit that i did helped me to get a better feel for form. THANK YOU, BRENDAN! however, after only a few laps of freestyle, i wanted to fall asleep. not good while swimming. my dad was out with me, and he said to just bag it; he knows that when i get frustrated, i push too hard and then ruin my workouts and my entire day. he was right. i made myself just let it go. and then i slept on the couch again.

6) today was fine. car issues aside, i was happy because i got to work with some good kids, and i appreciated their politeness and independence. i was still tired, so i took a nap, and then i headed to brian's place to use his treadmill. i didn't go to the gym or run outside for an important reason--i wanted to run in my tri outfit, to see if it would chafe, ride up, etc. that's not something i really want to do in public. running in public in a bra and shorts is one thing. running in public in a bikini is quite another. but i digress. i did 2 miles and might have gone further if i had not been insanely bored. even with my iPod and gilmore girls playing on the tv, i just couldn't run another step. it's something about brian's basement... anyway, the outfit worked out surprisingly well and was supportive and comfortable. now all i have to do is decide which i like better--the bra top or the tank top...

i'm tired again. hopefully i'll be able to sleep without having any nightmares.

apparently, i must not have enough drama in my life

2007-06-21T08:36:00.000-04:00

...if i have to be upset about my swimming. stupid thing is, yesterday, one of my friends sent me some advice, i looked at a website he recommended, and the rest of the day was great. i carefully read everything and tried to implement one or two points when i headed out to the pool in the afternoon. turns out, i'm not as terrible as i thought, form-wise. of course, i still have a lot to work on, but at least i know i'll be able to breathe. according to brendan h. (and he seems to be my most involved advisor, so i think i'll stick with his tips), i just need to focus on time in the water and doing a few form drills regularly. i think i can handle that.

of course, buoyed by my success,* i devoured the july issue of runners' world after getting out of the water. that's not so smart after a workout. i was so excited and psyched after the swim that i decided it was entirely necessary to throw in a run before the day's end. so i didn't do just a long, slow run. i felt compelled to do a tempo run. my R leg still gives me issues, but nothing was so bad that i couldn't run through it. i skipped doing any core work afterward because i was desparate to get home and ice down. and this is where i took some more rw advice... i sat in an ICE BATH for twenty minutes--legs completely covered by extremely cold water and a good amount of ice cubes. i have to admit though... as tough as the run was, my legs feel relatively good today, which is usually not the case otherwise... i HATE when they're right about stuff like that!

workout totals:

swim--10 laps** each, breaststroke and freestyle
alternated types: e.g., 2 laps BR, 2 laps FR, etc.
took small breaks between each type
goal next time is to do 4 laps without stopping

run--forced to use treadmill (long story)
5 min walk warm-up
5 min 5.5mph warm-up
5x3 min up tempo (90% race pace)
1 min break between each (6mph)
5 min 5.5mph cool-down
5 min walk cool-down

i'm going to insert one change-up run per week, either fartlek, interval, tempo, or hill, just to build some of those fast-twitch that keep me going in the last few meters of the race. woo!

*and yes, the pun is completely intentional. welcome to my world of bad jokes.
**still not sure of the meter-age of my pool at the apartment. i forgot to see how long i was in the water, which, for now is what i want to pin-point.

nerves

2007-06-20T13:47:00.000-04:00

i'm freaked. my strokes suck. they're terrible. you'd think i didn't know how to swim at all. well, it's probably not that bad, but my lack of proper form worries me. when it comes to the tri, i have no issues with the bike or run. the swim is a whole different can of worms. since it's the first part, it'll be doubly hard and completely kick my ass before i even get to the comfortable parts. now, my goal is just to finish. i'm not trying to qualify for the Gatorade ironman or anything. but i do want to survive the swim and come out of the water alive and with enough energy to slog my way through the rest of the race.

part of the problem is that i have so many resources. that is a problem because i don't know who the best person to listen to is, what the best website is, what training calendar fits me best, and so on and so forth. i get such a variety of information that i'm overwhelmed and don't know which options to choose. so, consequently, i'm picking from here and there and making it up as i go. i'm keeping a journal of my workouts and everything, and i'm trying to plan ahead of time which days are best for swim/bike/run. i'm also attempting to organize the specific workout for the day (e.g., how many laps or minutes to swim, how many miles to bike/run). like i said, the bike and run=cake walk. no big deal. i also know that i'm in good shape for sports since i've lost weight, built my endurance base, significantly lowered my body fat%, and increased my fitness level substantially. but, not knowing what i'm doing otherwise freaks me out.

while i just said that i have too many sources of information about swimming, i would really appreciate any advice you'd have on mental relaxation/preparedness/toughness.

***HELP!!!***

international ratings

2007-06-19T13:11:00.000-04:00

as i have been inspired by nate's picture of petra (color me jealous), i'm going to rate (according to various categories) the best and worst of the european countries i've visited.

1) best flight--to Germany. i got to fly in a C-5 military cargo plane. awesome.
worst flight--to England from Portugal. ride was bumpy, and as soon as we landed at heathrow, we got stuck on the tarmac for HOURS. overall, i sat on a plane for 19 hours to get home. SUCK!

2) best weather--Spain, specifically La Costa del Sol on the mediterranean. beautiful without
being hazy or humid.
worst weather--England, hands down. checking the weather the day before, it said sunny and 70. the next day, it was rainy and 50. i had no coat.

3) best party--Denmark. on the summer solstice in tivoli, they burned a witch in effigy. seriously. and there was lots of beer and the best ice cream i've ever tasted, even better than an excellent gelato.
worst party--England. the food was dull, the atmosphere was smoky and sullen, and the company was as tasteless as the meal.

4) best overall landscape--Norway. it screams "Vikings!!!" i love that.
worst overall landscape--England. boooooooooooooring...

5) best architecture--Spain. just go to barcelona, and see the work of Gaudi. and yes, the word
"gaudy" is derived from his name, but his buildings are just so damn fascinating. he created a rowhouse inspired by St. George and the Dragon. AMAZING.
worst architecture--tie between Austria and Germany. nothing terribly exciting, except for
the few and far between old stuff. whee...

6) best museum for a country (please note that i was not able to see all of the hallmark museums of every single place i traveled; for example, i can't say anything against the British Museum)--tie between Norway and Denmark's Viking museums. standing next to something that is 1000+ years old? realizing that people crossed entire oceans in these relatively small ships?! astounding!
worst museum--Spain's Prado. that's probably heresy in some parts, but i'm just not a fan of
neoclassism or romantism. goya... bleh.

7) best food--Spain. Spain's food is sexy. interpret that as you will.
worst food--this was a tough call, but i have to say Denmark. the sauce on their pizza is basically just ketchup, and most of their meals involve some sort of herring. puke.

8) best wine served (not necessarily native)--Spain. i could have gone with portugal on this one,
as i really enjoy the vino verdhe (sp?), but the night in cadiz totally wins out. i won't say how many bottles of white i finished myself.
worst wine served--England. see #3 above.

9) best (as in most intriguing, polite, etc) population--Denmark. total strangers opened their
house to my family, and we (meaning my parents) relaxed and knocked back a few shots, courtesy of our hosts. terrifically friendly people.
worst population--Spain. not bad per se, but to grab a quote from a movie, they would "rather make love to their faces" than welcome us travelers.

10) best trip overall--Spain. despite the few peeves, i still had a blast and would go back in a
heartbeat. if i had my way, i'd even go so far as to live in barcelona or sevilla or granada or
torremolinos. an amazing country.
worst trip overall--England. this might be counterintuitive considering my scholastic interests, but the trip was clouded* (HAHAHAHA!) by the weather, the food, the people, the bleh-ness of the landscape, etc., etc. i'll have to go back and explore it more if i want to change my opinion.

*that was lame. i know. bleh.

phobia

2007-06-17T09:14:00.001-04:00

i've realized that i have a most unfortunate fear, especially given my goals of completing a triathlon and running the 'valley of fire' half-marathon. here it is, in all it's irony: i'm afraid of running alone. it's not so much the personal safety issue as it is the health problems that scare me. it stems from two frightening experiences, the first happening in the summer of 2005. i was running with the pacemakers (again, thank you, irony), and it being deathly hot and humid, as it is wont to be in baltimore that time of year, i started to have what is similar to an asthma attack. i couldn't breathe, and my chest was closing in on me, and i almost passed out in a sketchy area of waverly. not awesome. i was then helped by those i can only describe as wonderful good samaritans. the other experience was last summer, at the rockville twilight trot. once again, it was hot and humid, and i completed the whole race, despite feeling terrible the whole time. i finish, feeling worse than i did during the race, sit down, and next thing i know, i'm coming to in the shady grove hospital ER with an IV pumping something into my arm. i have to hand it to the races who are very well organized, especially with emergency medical personnel at the ready.

anyway, those two events were scary enough that now i'm afraid to run outdoors by myself in the summer. my schedule is different enough from my running friends' that i don't have the luxury of having running buddies all the time. and, sadly, there's not a term that specifically identifies a fear of running. here are the closest ones i can find:

algophobia--fear of pain
asthenophobia--fear of weakness
ponophobia--fear of fatigue, especially from overworking (maybe the nearest i'll get?)

some of the most intriguing fears listed on this website have nothing to do with my running issue:

arachibutyrophobia--fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth
ballistophobia--fear of missiles
celtophobia--fear or dislike of Celts
homilophobia--fear of sermons
papaphobia--fear or dislike of the pope or papacy

two things: first, i have cross-checked my source, and these are professionally diagnosed phobias. second, my fear is certainly not clinical, and, related, i'm not trying to make light of people whose lives are massively impacted by such genuine, crippling fears. what i am doing is just being curious about the incredible variety of fears and the manner in which they shed light on our own psyches.

what do you fear?

mileage update, etc.

2007-06-16T23:11:00.000-04:00

so i've still been plagued by injuries, so i put in some time in the pool while i was at my parents' place this past week. i did my laps a la galloway, which is really helpful, considering that's my weakest point. that also saved on any wear & tear, thank goodness. today, again, i wanted to spare my body, so i lifted at the gym and did elliptical (reverse, for hamstrings). immediately after getting back to my place, i hopped in the pool for a cool-down swim, for two reasons: 1) relaxes the muscles and speeds recovery afterward and 2) gets me in the water again. i don't know of any specific distances today, but i got the time in, which almost seems to be the main idea anyway.

other update. a few assholes notwithstanding, my faith in humanity is somewhat restored. HALLELUJAH! and i was beginning to worry that common courtesy had become extinct. and, so beautifully, at the very moment when i think it's dead and gone, very pleasant surprises pop up out of nowhere and simply make my day. so thank you to those who still practice daily kindnesses and don't make jerks of themselves. you're beautiful.

oh, and here's the most random but new favorite sign:

marathon/running shirt suggestions

2007-06-11T19:36:00.001-04:00

this is an off-shoot of kim's request for shirt opinions. it's probably adding to the confusion, but i can't help it. some of these are so true/ridiculous/hysterical that i HAVE to list them.

1) i like the running armadillo. i don't know why.
2) so true, so true... :D
3) this is more of a running workout emphasis, but if you know the term, it's pretty funny
4) the chickens ARE on a shirt!!!
5) ahhh, yes.. the arrogance of cross country runners *

* may not apply or be helpful at all to those who aren't fans of off-road running.

anyway, i might have just added too many ingredients to the pot of shirt choices, but i thought these were at least mildly amusing. what does that tell you about my sense of humor?

:P

surveys can be long but silly and fun :)

2007-06-10T13:11:00.000-04:00

Friday survey Body:

1] What was the highlight of your week? FINALLY getting my pix together, framed and mounted... well, at least most of them. at least now this apt. looks more like it's inhabited by an adult.

2] Who's car were you in last? mine

3] When is the next time you will kiss someone? i have no idea. there's the slight chance that it could happen in a week. who knows!

4] What color shirt are you wearing? gray running shirt from a 5 miler i did with my dad

5] How long is your hair? medium

8] Last movie you watched? Last of the Mohicans, last night (just after Kingdom of Heaven)

9] Last thing you ate? salad

10] Last thing you drank? limeade

11] Where did you sleep last night? in my bed

12] If you could get a tattoo where would it be and of what? ancient roman chi rho monogram, on my back

13] Are you happy right now? reasonably so

14] What did you say last? 'toby, you're the best pup ever!'

15] Where is your phone? in my purse, which is somewhere

16] Who was the last person you told you loved them? my mom

17] What color are your eyes? oceany blue. i count that as one of the best things a guy as ever said to me.

19] Who came over last? brian. he stole my dog.

20] When was the last time you had your heart broken? those of you who know me know when.

21] Who/what do you hate/dislike currently? they know who they are

22] What are you listening to? classic rock/guitar playlist (right now, it's Carry On My Wayward Son)

23] If you could have one thing right now what would it be? someone looking into my eyes

24] What is your favorite scent? ultra cheesy, but that of a clean man. literally.

25] Who makes you happiest right now? my students and the tober (my dog)

26] What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping like a log

30] Are you left-handed? nope

31] Spell your name without vowels: jnn--that's kind of a dumb question

34] What's for dinner tonight? probably tomato & basil veggie burgers

34] What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? a shot of espresso vodka on thursday night. i wanted to puke, it was so disgusting.

35] When Is Your Birthday? 11/9

36] Who was the last person to send you a text message? i think shawn

38] Last time you went swimming in a pool? yesterday afternoon. see previous post.

39] Where was the last place you went shopping? Target

40] How do you feel about your hair right now? got 5 inches whacked off yesterday, and i love it. i <3 my hair!!!

41] Do you have any expensive jewelery? No

42] AIM or MSN? aim

46] Where does most of your family live? Pennsylvania.

47] Are you an only child or do you have siblings? one older brother

48] Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? not so much. circumstances have taught me to be content in current situations.

49] What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? how awesome a good night's sleep feels

50] Do you drink beer? Yes

52] Myspace or Facebook? i'm ambivalent on this one

53] Do you have T-Mobile? no, i have verizon

54] What is your favorite subject in school? medieval & renaissance british literature

55] What type of boy/girl do you usually fall for? highly intelligent, current events and culturally saavy, athletic, respectful

57] Do you have any talent? not to brag, but... HELLS YEAH!
:-P

58] Have you ever been IN a wedding? Yes

59] Do you have any children? Not yet.

60] Did you take a nap today? No.

62] Ever met anyone famous before? yes. kind of C List famous though.

63] Do you want to be famous one day? Not really.

64] Favorite Actress(es)? cate blanchett, judi dench; i'm not really a huge fan of actresses though. they're just not really exciting.

65] Are you multitasking right now? yes

66] Could you handle being in the military? yes

67] What is your average cell phone bill? $64

68] Do you believe in Karma? no

69] Last time you went to the gym or worked out? yesterday

70] How many pairs of shoes do you own? at least 20. i can't help it! i love shoes!!!

71] Last place you drove your car? Target

72] Last concert you went to? Swim Shower at the Walters on Friday night

73] what are you doing today? cleaning apt, playing with and walking toby, reading, watching a movie, possibly working out, relaxing

74] Have you ever been gambling? Yes

75] When is the last time you updated your blog? last night

76] Have you been to New York City? yup

77] Ever been to Disneyland/world? yeah, world

78] Do you have a favorite cartoon character? hmm... stewie!

79] Last thing you cooked? pasta

80] Hows the weather? cloudy but breezy and warm

81] Do you e-mail? yes, quite often

82] Whats the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? let somebody else send a text to a party of interest

83] Last time you were sick? bad cold, mid-may

84] Do you think anyone will repost this? kim!

i have GOT to stop pulling muscles

2007-06-09T18:38:00.001-04:00

so i finally made it into a pool today. and it was bad. now i'm really nervous about the tri because my form is shitty, and i have roughly two months before the Catfish. what happens is that i can do the arms okay, but i have never felt comfortable with the breathing. then i get nervous while swimming, and my form gets worse, and so on and so forth. part of it, i know, is that i try to go too fast, and i should slow down and concentrate on the simple mechanics. but, the obvious problem is that i can't see wtf i'm doing. i've consulted my triathlete friends, and i've heard two schools of thought: a) it's absolutely essential to log lots of pool time or else i'll fall apart, and b) just doggie-paddle if i have to and concentrate on one piece at a time so that i can finish. i'm more encouraged by the latter, but the former is freaking me out when i'm in the pool. HELP!

although, i do look killer in my speedo. ;)

the other piece of today's pool time is that, because i was trying harder than i should have, my triceps are bugging me. of course, it's a common thing when starting something new. but my entire right side has been aching for the past few days, so that makes me uneasy. i can still run, bike and swim fine, but afterward, i'm so freaking uncomfortable. sometimes, the aches wake me up. that can't be good. it's tough because i have no reference point on what the hell i'm doing. i have no training partners/coaches/etc. in close proximity; it's all advice from friends via email or from credible websites. if anyone can offer suggestions on how to ameliorate these problems, i would be super-appreciative.

so, i have no idea how far or how long i swam, although it was just a beginner's day and really not all that much. i tried though. *sigh* this triathlon is going to be really hard.

:(

swim shower at the walters!

2007-06-08T23:03:00.000-04:00

great sound tonight. steve & co. played at the walters, which is a pretty big deal, considering what a cultural landmark it is in Baltimore. i'm really proud of the guys seizing that opportunity. they performed a lot of songs from their new cd, which is supposed to be released in ~1 month. you know i'll be picking up one of those. i went to one of their first shows in winter `06, and it's so amazing to see how much they've matured, musically speaking, since then. also, the instrumental texture and layering of their sound evolved, becoming much more sophisticated. it's fascinating to hear the blend of tones and timbre (sp?). they guys are also good showmen because their collective sense of humor brings laughter and levity between songs. they do a quality job of keeping the audience engaged in the set, which is can be difficult to do, considering some of the disastrous bands i've seen in the past. all in all, nice job tonight, and kudos to swim shower. here's to a bright future for you!

(L to R) jeff on lead guitar, steve on drums, brad on guitar and vocals, other jeff on bass, and ben on keyboard/guitar/trumpet/vocals. unfortunately, i couldn't manage to get ben in the first picture, and he was hiding behind his music and keyboard in the second one. d'oh!

mileage and such

2007-06-08T06:14:00.000-04:00

i've been taking it easy this week because it seems as though my right leg is having a good time messing with me. sometimes, the lateral muscles in my knee flare up. or, the tendons above and/or below the knee cap kick in. occasionally, it's the hamstrings. at times, my quadriceps join in the fun. WTF!!!

obviously, it's entirely frustrating, and i'm hoping to get into a pool anywhere just to do some non-weight-bearing work. i'm also being really diligent about RICE, wrapping, and taking ibuprofen for once. i'm usually quite negligent about that sort of thing because i hate taking medicine and being relatively inactive. anyway, i'm taking my time and going slow and steady.

so the actual mileage:
6/5--stat. bike @ the gym, 9 miles (equals 3 miles running) for 30 min., stretched
6/7--run 3 miles for 30 min. w/ Brian, Duke & Toby; took a few breaks for the dogs' having to do their business

core:
6/5--Adam's ladder: 10 push-ups, 9, 8, etc, Russian Twists: 1x25 no weight, 4x25 w/ 10 lbs, Crunches: 5x50, Hyperextensions 5x20
6/7--none

no swim work yet :-\

8th grade graduation

2007-06-04T23:12:00.000-04:00

well, three of my basketball girls graduated (?) from OLMC tonight. i include the question mark because i'm still not sure about calling it graduation when it occurs so early in the academic career... but i digress. anyway, alex, lindsey and taylor are all such wonderful young ladies, and i'm really glad to have had the privilege of working with them. they're parting ways and going to different high schools, and i know that each one will distinguish herself from her peers. i was asked to sing at the baccalaureate mass, which was something that i relished doing. i haven't been part of a music team in awhile, and it's very fulfilling, especially when it's in service to or honor of someone so deserving.

i didn't get a chance to talk to the girls very much, and if i'd been able to do so, i would have tried to impress one thing upon them; try to do your very best at living your own life. i grew up as a people-pleaser, and that is such a crippling way to live. realizing the joy of one's own personal freedom, finding that joy through confidence and courage, and taking the first step down new paths--those are all such exhilerating experiences! goals can be as wild and crazy as one can make them, and that can make them all the more fulfilling! for example, i plan to do my triathlon, despite the number of hurdles i've been meeting. that's a little crazy. even moreso, however, is my newest and most exciting goal: the valley of fire marathon near las vegas, nevada. how AMAZING is that?! run 26.2 miles through some of the most desolate terrain in the country! yeehaw!!

that's not normal. you can't be normal and be a distance runner and love it all at the same time. :) but, it's what makes me happy. and why go through life not doing things that make you happy? i plan on going back for the phD. sure, that'll throw some major wrenches into the financial end of things. nobody else in my family is doing it, and a bunch of my friends think i'm insane for wanting to do it. but it's what's inside me. it's who i am. and it makes me happy and whole.

whatever the Lord has planned for alex, lindsey and taylor, i hope that He helps them to seize their chance at living His gift of life with vibrance and passion. i hope that He shows them how awesome it is to see, accept, and strive for those aspirations that are the foundation of their identities. i hope that He will help all of us to be ignited about what He's making of us. we should all be so excited at what He has there waiting for us, if only we'd reach for it.

best of luck to my girls and all `07 grads!

blue moooooooooooon, i saw you running aloooooooone... well, not alone. but you were running. HA!

2007-06-02T16:13:00.000-04:00

that was so much fun. around 5-ish, my desire to go was weak, but a two hour nap took care of that. :) anyway, because there was a parking issue, i dropped my car at the baja fresh lot and rode a u-haul van over to the race. no lie. fifteen of us crammed in the back (no seats) and a helluva a lot of trust in the driver... awesome. once i was there, i almost literally ran into kim and todd. then i ran over to the "registration" desk (really, it was just a 'hell, it's cool that you're here, have a glow stick' desk) and appropriately bedecked myself with glowsticks.

so far, you're thinking, okay, no big deal. park, meet friends, get a glow stick. yeehaw. but think of it this way: 600+ people with glow sticks galore, hung around necks, wound into hair, strapped around ankles and in shoelaces, etc., etc. and it was dark. and there were severe storms to the north--far enough away that we escaped the ran, close enough to see quite a bit of lightning. AND because it was still so hazy and humid, the moon was this deep orange-red. *AND*, as promised, there were plenty of beverages and snacks, to include some amazingly good watermelon.

it was cooooooooooooool!!!!

i had so much fun running with kim, todd, caryn (kim, did i spell that right?), and doug, although i have to be honest; kim, you and i have to get better about running together regularly! there's so much to talk about!!!

but anyway, for all who missed it, the blue moon run was awesome. next on my list: dreaded druid hills. any takers? :)

miiiiiiiiiiiileage

2007-05-22T19:23:00.000-04:00

okay, so i biked today, ~11 miles. that's about the same as 3 2/3 miles running. yay.

mileage

2007-05-21T21:28:00.001-04:00

well, seeing as how i fell asleep about twenty minutes after getting home from school, i decided to skip the gym. instead, i went for a little jog with toby. he's not in tip top shape for runs, so we just did ~1 mile. yeehaw.

i'm still sleepy.

i am eating chicken as i post these.

2007-05-20T17:48:00.000-04:00

<-- defense warm-up

<-- pre-game practice shots, not like they helped

<-- aforementioned "den of the dark side"

:)

at the navy-marine corps memorial stadium,

2007-05-20T15:37:00.000-04:00

UMBC lost to DE in the men's lax quarterfinals. truth be told, the offense wasn't all there, and the defense lost steam by the middle of the third quarter. you can't make your defense do all the work and still expect to win, especially if you're not making shots of your own. granted, there were some terrible calls on the field, but that might have only given DE one gift goal, if any at all. but i still had fun. went down with steve and kristie (thank you, steve for driving!) and had the requisite stadium pretzel. makes my day. and just for my own satisfaction, i'm going to have chicken for dinner tonight.

stupid blue hens.

btw... don't tell my dad, but i got a thrill from being in the den of the dark side. i kind of miss it!

;)

:)

2007-05-19T19:49:00.000-04:00

today was a good day.

1) i cleaned the kitchen. like seriously cleaned. comet with bleach and everything. didn't clean anything else, but my kitchen is hella clean.

2) i got a job. yeah, i already teach, but lord knows that a teacher's salary is NOT the most awesome. so, i'll be tutoring part-time two miles away from my home. so super convenient, easy for me (who knew that the prior experience from hell would pay off!), and good for my wallet.

3) i bought toby a tire. yes. a real tire. it's mountain bike-esque, but about eight to ten inches in diameter. it's great because i can stuff it with treats, and he can chew it, roll it around, etc. he loves it.

4) i have more goals. more sado-masochistic goals. granted, these are far-flung aspirations, but there's nothing like hoping. i hope to run two marathons (or halves, depending on my physical state), and the most exciting parts are the locations. the first is the Valley of Fire Marathon in Las Vegas, NV. it's in a national park out west, so just imagine that. that's in november. the second (AND THIS IS SO COOL!!!) is the Great Wall Marathon. i mean, holy shit! it's in may and is about 80 miles west (i think) of beijing, and there are marathon tour packages as cheap as $1,070. can you believe that?! man... if i can somehow squirrel away about $2000, then i could probably DO BOTH MARATHONS (or halves, as the case may be.)!!!!

care to donate to the cause?

:)

shock o' the mornin to ya!

2007-05-16T18:49:00.000-04:00

okay, so this is wild. yes, i've been working out four times a week on average, and i've tried to keep an eye on my food. but i haven't gone psycho-obsessive about a healthful lifestyle, and i certainly didn't expect this. i got "reassessed" at the gym today, and this is the deal. on december 30th, i was at 141 lbs and had 29% body fat. NOW, now now now now, i'm at... drumroll, please...

127 lbs and 16% body fat!

WOOHA!!!

i'm not trying to be a size 2 or anything, but i am really excited about all of this. i haven't seen <130 lbs since my freshman year in high school! and, i should be able to kick my metabolism into high gear with that percentage, perfect for being in shape for the triathlon. wow. i can't believe this. this is crazy.

when an ice bath and texas toast can save the world

2007-05-15T20:31:00.000-04:00

i pushed it really hard at the gym today. i did a medium-level 30 minutes on the bike, and then i threw in a hill interval workout on the treadmill, also for 30 minutes. following that, i stretched for yet another 30 minutes*, and i finished out with the Adam's ladder. for those who don't know, the Adam's ladder is as follows:

10 push-ups, 25 russian twists.
9 push-ups, 50 crunches (any style).
20 back hyperextensions using the half bouncy ball (what do you call those things?).
8 push-ups, 25 russian twists...
and so on and so forth until i do 1 last push-up with more crunches and the hyperextensions.

*anyway, i stretched for 30 minutes because i need to watch how far i push my hamstrings. i haven't run more than 5k in a while, and even though i know i could pull of at least 8-10 miles, i'd probably end up with so many muscle injuries that i'd be down for at least three weeks. as a preventative measure, as soon after the workout as i could manage, i sat in ice cold water in my bathtub. i gritted my teeth and stayed in for about 10 minutes. this really reduces the swelling in the muscles, and now that i'm out of the tub and in my recliner, i feel so relaxed. i feel so good, and i'm really confident that my workouts are going to pay off. i'll be making the transition from cardio and lifting to doubles (combining components of the tri events).

all in all, today's workout was great, and the buttered texas toast was the perfect cap to a fantastic day. woo!

!!!!

2007-05-13T19:17:00.000-04:00

i have a bike! i have a bike! i have a bike! i have a bike!!!!

did i mention that i have a bike? as it turns out, my old road bike that i thought had made it to the big trash heap in the sky was really in my parents' garage. go figure. all it needs is a new set of tires, a handlebar upgrade, and some general clean-up. obviously, that is sooooooo much cheaper than a brand new bike. it'll be going into the shop this week, and it should be ready by the time i go back up to PA for memorial day weekend.

so what does this mean? this means that i can actually afford to do the triathlon! i was really nervous for awhile there because tri equipment is quite expensive, and my funds just weren't at the level necessary for a good bike. now if i make tris a habit, i'll eventually invest in a quality machine, but for now, this is definitely providential.

checklist--i have:
1) brand new helmet
2) suit(s)
3) bike
4) shoes
5) places to swim/ride/run

checklist--i need:
1) cap
2) goggles

this is so awesome. i am so freakin excited, and now i can't wait to get into this.

oh... incidentally, i'm going to try to save some $$$ to do the valley of fire marathon in las vegas this coming november. yeehaw!

happy mother's day! :)

2007-05-13T12:04:00.000-04:00

to all the moms out there, i hope that you're having a beautiful day. i hope that those for whom you care are showing appreciation for who you are and the blessing that you are to them. yay!

this is a picture of my mother and me outside St. Andrews Presbyterian Church. there are so many things that i appreciate about mom, and i'm not sure how well i can enumerate them, but i will try to at least share of few things.

my mom is stronger than most people i know. she has lived through my trials as though they were her own and has done everything she possibly could to help me, even if it was just holding my hand. just watching my students go through horrible times is very rough for me, and i can only imagine what she feels when i have dark times. but, she handles it and manages to walk by my side every step of the way, no matter how tough it is to do so.

she also has a wonderfully contagious laugh. it's one of the neatest things to see--when she gets rolling, her laughter has a kind of sheer, unadulterated joy. the best part is that mom is astoundingly capable of passing that joy to others... it reminds me of my grandmother hixson, her mother, so i can only look forward to days when i might have that ability too.

last, my mom has taught me patience and grace. she works so hard for others and puts her needs to the side so often. she doesn't neglect herself though, and when she finally receives things that fill her spirit, she rejoices with gratitude. she knows the one thing that is the most profound longing in my life, and she helps me to maintain a meaningfully slow walk towards that. she knows that if and when it is made manifest, it will be... indescribably beautiful. mom imparts the patience that i need to wait for its own timing, and without that, i would be a mess. in a sense, she has helped me to listen and live around Psalm 40:1-3.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord."

incidentally, that comes from a bible my mom received almost 44 years ago. i think that's apt.

the Great 2007 Bay Bridge 10K...

2007-05-06T18:54:00.000-04:00

that nobody ran. d'oh. yeah, casey and i both woke up at 4:30 to drive all the way from canton and owings mills, respectively, and after hanging around for 45 minutes, we found out that the race was cancelled. after i woke up at 4:30. and drove 50 miles. and used up 50 miles worth of gas. and woke up at 4:30. SUCKS!

however, casey and i made the best of it and still ran around the park a little bit, our faces against the 30+ mph winds. plus, the race directors gave everybody a bitchin amount of food since they couldn't really do much else with it. those guys were really cool--they understood that people didn't care as much about paying $30 for no race as they did for not being able to race at all. besides--we all got our really nice (REALLY NICE) gym bags, so it's not like the money was totally wasted.

as for the intangibles, i got some great pictures, which i'll get to in a second. for one, this is the first time i've ever really hung out with casey outside of school. we had so much fun, and she's really a great girl. yay! also, the park and the bay were so beautiful. i think my most worshipful moments are captured in solitude in nature. at this point in my life, it's not so much the four walls and some pews that do it for me. despite the nearly gale-force winds, the pre-dawn stillness was both filling and calming.

pictures!

the chesapeake, pre-dawn

chesapeake buoy

sunlight slips over the water

sunday morning, 6 may 2007

30+ mph winds--they really are holding me upright

bay bridge at oh my god'o'clock in the morning

like true runners, we braved the wee hours of the day to run, to take hold of the challenge, to better ourselves by pushing beyond the limits, to grab as much free food and beverages as possible when the race was cancelled and then go back to bed.

me and casey; albeit a little disappointed because of the lack of the 10K, we still had a great time. we're definitely coming back next year!

how toby cleanses my aura...

2007-05-03T21:47:00.000-04:00

or how to brighten a mood after a rough day. i try to remember the following:

1. toby running and jumping because it's spring
2. hearing from old friends, across thousands of miles
3. the smell of freshly cut grass
4. gearing up for the end of the school year
5. tex mex burgers
6. my oh-so-very-comfortable fuzzy blanket

new favorite line:

2007-04-29T18:33:00.000-04:00

"two sides?!! you're dr. jekyl and mr. jackass."

--marla, 'fight club'

the chimera of tyler durden

2007-04-29T17:27:00.000-04:00

explain why tyler durden in both of his forms is so intriguing to me, and i'm not referring to the actors from the movies. that would be too obvious an answer.

on another random note, i did 2:1s for 20 minutes with toby. he seemed to do fine, even though he hasn't run in awhile. it might not have been the smartest thing for me to do because my butt hurts a bit now. but, you have to break a few eggs...

;)

que the hell?!

2007-04-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

i love that dave barry-ism. :)

anyway, this has been a really action-packed weekend, with cleaning and school work. i'm fairly happy though; i went to the gym this morning, and i ran a 5K with hill intervals on the treadmill. i could feel my R hamstring, but it was just stretchy and not painful. WOO! at the moment, my R butt is tender, but i'm fine. YEEHAW! the bad news: the reisterstown brick bodies pool won't open until june 15th. ugh. that means i have to start my swim workouts at the goucher pool. puke. that's pretty inconvenient, but i'll have to do it if i want to survive this triathlon.

on another note--i hate mood swings. this past week has been particularly chock full of them, with me riding from neutral to low and back again several times. sometimes, i wish i'd hit the manic more often so that i can concentrate and get some work done. that sounds reckless, and yes, the "high" can be risky. but, sometimes, the lows are just so damn rough that i'd rather the pendulum go completely the other way, instead of stopping halfway there. a lot of times, people don't know that it is extremely exhausting to maintain a stable facade. it sucks. but, there are things i can do: keep up the treatment, go to the gym, read for leisure, walk and play with toby, socialize, etc.

i was also thinking of learning how to belly dance. thoughts?

:)

drama, et al

2007-04-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

lots of drama at school lately. first, i caught a grand total of nine kids cheating on 12 papers. i got really cheesed about that, but the good thing is that it was such a bad episode that the cheating policy is being changed. i've always been a fan of 1st offense=zero for the assignment, mostly because the lesson needs to be learned right away. so, kids at OLMC will no longer have the opportunity to rewrite plagiarized papers. BUSTED!

the other drama was all today. we were supposed to have a baby shower for leann, my bff at school. ;) she was due about a month from now. however, she had a frightening morning. a sudden problem (it's kind of gross, so no details here) resulted in an ambulance call, and she ended up at franklin square hospital. we still ate the food after school though. and i got a call two hours ago--little sebastian bauer was born by c-section, and he, leann, and her husband are all happy and well. hooray! thank the lord that leann and sebastian are okay!

i'm forming a theory about toby. he's dumb. but, maybe it's not his fault. he's not very good at playing fetch outside. he's awesome inside, and he'll play until he's completely pooped. but outside, he rarely even runs in the same direction as the frisbee. since he's a mutt, i'm thinking his labrador retriever and northern breed parts lose out to the pointer within. pointers aren't chase dogs, so maybe they'll follow motion but only to a ... point?

you can slap me for that one. :)

last, body update: right shoulder--good! right side of my back--better! right hamstring--not as bad! everything is progressing nicely, except for my right butt. i hate my butt right now. *sigh*

2007-04-23T21:26:00.000-04:00

1. Where will you be in an hour? still in this reciner or in bed

2. Who will be your next kiss? the tobster

3. Is there something purple within 10 feet of you? one of my books

4. Are you wearing socks right now? nope

5. When was the last time you went out of state? easter, up to PA

6. Have you been to the movies in the last 7 days? no, but i borrowed MST3K, the second season of Family Guy, and Thank You for Smoking. i wasn't terribly impressed with the first or last one, but i LOVED the weinstein episode of FG. HYSTERICAL in all its politically incorrect glory.

7. What was the last thing you had to drink? ice water

8. What are you wearing right now? black booty shorts, my baller shirt, and an ace bandage around my thigh

9. What was your last purchase? pizza from papa johns

10. What's the last thing you wrote down? look at seneca/proto-nihilism paper again and compare with bloom's wisdom book (yes. that is absolutely true.)

11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? brian

12. Have you been to the silly site GoofyAuctions.com? uh. no.

13. Have you ever owned a fish tank? yeah, when i experimented on goldfish in 7th grade. GAH!

14. When's the last time you watched a hockey game? the other day when the penguins beat somebody of no consequence

15. What is in your pocket right now? no pockets. sorry.

16. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you be? southern coast of spain

17. What friend has the kinkiest piercing(s)? no idea

18. One thing you hate about yourself? mood swings

19. What's your favorite soup? CJ's crabhouse cream of crab soup

20. Do you miss anyone? my grandparents

21. Last play you saw? play/musical--"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

22. What are your plans for the day? dinner, then sleep. tomorrow, make some seventh grade heads roll.

23. Ever go to camp? yah. favorites: FCA and cross country camp.

24. What do you want right now? ice cream

25. Were you an honor roll student in Jr. High/Middle school? yup. not a big deal though since a bunch of people in my class nearly tied for valedictorian. wheeeee.

headlines

2007-04-23T20:50:00.000-04:00

1. kudos to russell simmons, but is this feasible?

2. is barbara bush for real? and i quote: "Asked if voters should be weary of Romney being a Mormon, the former president's wife, Barbara, said 'not at all,' noting there are 'wild people' in many religions." wow. she continues, saying, " 'I mean it was in 1897 that bigamy was outlawed in that church,' she said. 'You know we have a lot of Christian wild people too, and a lot of Jewish wild people and a lot of Muslim wild people. The Mormon religion takes care of it's own, they don't have people on welfare.' does somebody want to buy this woman a phrase book or a thesaurus? or some manners?

3. cnn, what does abc's "the bachelor" say about women?

all headlines and articles provided by and found at cnn.com. yay, cnn!

Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses...

2007-04-22T11:21:00.000-04:00

You're dangerous, 'cos you're honest.
You're dangerous, you don't know what you want.
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot
For any spirit to haunt.

You're an accident waiting to happen
You're a piece of glass left there on a beach.
Well you tell me things
I know you're not supposed to
Then you leave me just out of reach.

Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea?
Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee?

Well you stole it 'cos I needed the cash
And you killed it 'cos I needed revenge.
Well you lied to me 'cos I asked you to.
Baby, can we still be friends?

Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea?
Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee?

Ah, the deeper I spin
Ah, the hunter will sin for your ivory skin.
Took a drive in the dirty rain
To a place where the wind calls your name
Under the trees, the river laughing at you and me.
Hallelujah! Heaven's white rose
The doors you open I just can't close.

Don't turn around, don't turn around again.
Don't turn around your gypsy heart.
Don't turn around, don't turn around again.
Don't turn around, and don't look back.
Come on now love, don't you look back.

Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea?
Who's gonna taste your saltwater kisses?
Who's gonna take the place of me?
Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna tame the heart of thee?

love/hate relationships

2007-04-19T20:56:00.000-04:00

i love larry. but i hate larry. but i love larry. and then after that, i hate larry.

he's a great trainer. except i hurt. helping me train is one thing. trying to help my back feel better is a... also a thing. normally i can stretch and don't need help to twist myself into a pretzel. relatively speaking. BUT. twisting me into a cat's cradle is an entirely different situation. now i'm crying and whining in my recliner with one of those therma-wrap thingos.

ow.

but, i'm not down for the count, in part because larry helped me build a good fitness base. so now, even time off from working out isn't going to do too much damage. and, he's working on getting me in on the ground level of a kid's fitness program at the gym. that's kind of awesome. so.

ow. but larry's cool.

rebuttal to ...

2007-04-17T16:52:00.000-04:00

yes. some people are assholes. but then again, we're still lucky to have each other around. it's much better to have things in the appropriate context...

...

2007-04-17T06:07:00.000-04:00

see 4/15 post, quote two. this time, apply to the person who was being defended.

|:(

altruism and selfishness

2007-04-16T18:27:00.000-04:00

as well meant (and right) as it is, it's very hard to push for the happiness of another when it will seemingly preclude your own...

things that weigh on the mind

2007-04-16T16:33:00.000-04:00

my mind has been a little preoccupied in the past few hours.

at lunch today, i learned that the father of one of my students had died. johnny's father had had cancer, and johnny was doing his best to be strong and stoic. but, it was fairly obvious that he was a different child once the diagnosis was made. all of my kids were saddened today by the news, and they're swinging into action with cards and everything. on a personal level, even though i wasn't johnny's favorite person by far, i still wish i could just give him a hug. that's not realistic for many reasons, of course, but the whole thing is just so sad.

after lunch, i'd read that somebody had been shot at virginia tech. when i got home, i was shocked by the update-- 32 dead, including the gunman. apparently, a number of the victims were killed in one classroom. 32 lives finished, just like that. when things like that happen at schools, including the shooting in the amish community this past fall, it makes me think of my kids. just picture a room full of the people you care most about, and then clear the room completely. they disappear. it's such a loathsome thought that i'm so thankful that all of my kids are healthy and with me almost every day.

there's nothing perfect to say about these things, if anything can be said at all...

and the well-meaning frustration sets in

2007-04-15T17:26:00.000-04:00

two poignant quotes from the past week:

"sometimes, you need a hug, sometimes you need a smile.
sometimes just having someone makes it worthwhile."
--Kristen

"sometimes, people are assholes."
--Steve

somewhat recently, i've bumped into an old friend from high school. this is a person who shows nothing but kindness and compassion to the people around him. he's the kind of person who would give anybody a shoulder to cry on, and he'll buy some taco bell for dinner to boot. he'll call at random just to make sure things are okay. see quote #1.

and right now, i'm seeing him get his heart stomped on. raked over the coals. put on a spit and slow-roasted over low-burning fire. you get the picture. because someone didn't get her way this once, she's threatening this and that and all these other things, and he's paying quite the emotional penalty. see quote #2.

this pisses me off. i hate to see that happen to such a nice person. women wonder where all the nice guys are, and i'll tell you. they're in the foxholes avoiding the salvos of mean girls. what gets to me on my side of the situation is that i can't do a damn thing about it. i don't meddle or spout platitudes or mouth off about her to him. that's seriously not my place and none of my business. that would be a major don't. the only thing i have done is just be there for moral support. the only thing i've said is that he is the good person that he's not sure that he is. this whole situation sucks.

see quote #2.

|:(

yawn.... but in a nice way

2007-04-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

last night, i was bitching and moaning about how i felt. long, lousy, tiring day, everybody busy, and me pissing off a best friend. nothing but suck. i stayed awake as long as i could keep my eyes open, and then once i got to bed, i couldn't sleep. go figure. i suppose that's a good thing though because at 1:30 in the AM, my phone rang, and a friend of mine was really upset. i went over and brought some chocolate syrup for our ice cream, and we watched 'amelie.' twice. i crashed there and got back here about an hour or so ago, and i realized--sometimes i should just shut up. we all have shitty days, everybody unwittingly does his/her best at being an asshole once in awhile, and we all get over it eventually, especially when we look out for each other. i hope that my sometimes lame attempts at cheering people up helped last night, since many do the same for me. and, we both admitted that having a pup slobber all over our heads and jump all over us on the couch lightened the mood considerably.

so, while i'm exhausted and nursing a very, very sore back, i can fall asleep knowing that we're loved. especially by dogs. who lick our ears.

pictures i found, not necessarily in chronological order

2007-04-13T20:50:00.000-04:00

samy & alvin on alvin's brithday (umd `05)

sweetest guy i've ever met! ;) (vegas '04)

goo put in dustin's hair (vegas `04)

toby w/ my cousins' puppy (pa `07)

yes, it does say "save the hooters." (dc `04)

not to be gross, but derek is literally shoveling shit. he loves his job. (korea `07)

:)

pet peeve

2007-04-11T09:22:00.000-04:00

i am sick and tired of jibes at my attempts to have a healthful lifestyle.

yesterday, i was teased for the following: thinking about sodium content at the asian food places in the food court, using stairs instead of the escalator, being willing to walk to find various places around the harbor as opposed to staying in one place, and deciding against full-on haagen-daas (sp?) and going for the vanilla yogurt instead. people also give me a hard time when i get excited about my triathlon. i get ribbed for my enthusiasm to compete athletically, my occasional decision to eat away from the toxic environment of the lunchroom, and my choice to eat a lot of produce and whole grain foods.

trust me. i don't go around with a holier-than-thou swagger and proclaim to all the world the virtues of my lifestyle, weighed against the vices of others' lifestyles. i hate when others do that around me. but please. if you hate my choices that much, than ignore them. the silly thing of it is, when they're highlighted for negative reasons, they are highlighted nonetheless. i'd think that certain people would want to hear less of them if they dislike those things so much.

plus, don't disparage my choices if you're not fond of my appearance. i'm not trying to lose weight. i'm not trying to be a size 2. i'm not trying to be the most fabulous looking woman on the block. if my looks are improved because of my choices, then that is a pleasant by-product. if my face and body were the most important things in my life, i would certainly not go around dressed like a slob some days. if you feel a negative effect because of the results of my hard work, than that is certainly not anything that i am trying to do to you.

does it occur to anyone that perhaps there are other factors behind the goals that i have for myself? could it be that maybe diabetes, heart disease, AND breast cancer has appeared in almost every preceding generation in my family, and i'm walking around with a hereditary bulls-eye on my back? could it be that regular exercise and a healthful diet promote good neurological health and have been shown to stave off, to a certain degree, mood fluctuations? could it be that running relieves a great deal of stress and allows me to sleep more restfully at night?

so if you are sincerely bothered by the choices i make, perhaps you are bothered by those that you aren't making yourself. please reflect on your own decisions before you disparage mine.

new favorite list :)

2007-04-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

List of Cheesy Ballads; it's scary to know that i'm old enough to have once clung to these tear-jerking, hair-sprayed anthems.

we miss the era of the mullet...

i refuse to go to bed.

2007-04-09T22:04:00.000-04:00

far from being a throwback to when i was 5, this is more of a protest against the spoiling of my easter break. as i have already complained to many, there is an educators' conference in town this week. i am compelled for very reasons to attend three out of the five days. in the meantime, my students get to frolic in the no-learning-for-a-whole-eleven-days utopia. thus, i resolve to treat this week as much like a vacation as possible. i will:

a) take the metro instead of driving all over creation
b) eat lunch out, probably at that tapas restaurant at the harbor and one of the cafes in federal hill
c) get some exercise by walking around the city somewhat randomly
d) take my camera in case i happen upon some quirky kodak (or in my case, SONY) moments
e) relax for some quiet time at the crest of federal hill
f) NOT GO TO BED AT MY NORMAL SCHOOL-NIGHT TIME

as indignant as i am at my skewered vacation days, i will admit to some grand-old fun this past weekend. first, my cousins jenna and kristen swung by with their puppy who's only seven weeks old. i took them to the local petsmart, and we accessorized the little pooch. i forbade them to buy outfits and a dog purse (i don't know the technical term for the bag in which one carries her dog). we got the pup a cute little collar and a few toys. AWWWW!!! and, i was finally able to meet my younger niece, calliope (nickname--chloe), who's only about five weeks old. she's sweet and beautiful to hold. her two older brothers and her older sister are very gracious around her, and all four are a blast. anyway, i don't have any pictures of chloe, but i do have a few of pookie baka. i have NO idea where jenna and kristen got the name...

proactive happy thoughts

2007-04-03T16:28:00.000-04:00

taking a cue from kim, here's the ABCs of happy thoughts:

A--athletic wear, amelie
B--benicio, brian, other brian, brendan, other brendan, beattys in general, the beach
C--clara, chloe, copenhagen, cadiz, contact sports, chess
D--denmark!!! dreaded druid hills 10K
E--elephants, _east, west_
F--friends, forests, family guy, film
G--glacier national park
H--hixson family reunion (very fawlty towers-ish)
I--interval workouts, _in the name of the rose_
J--javelins. duh. and jeopardy
K--kites, kim as my running buddy
L--little havana, law & order: criminal intent
M--manny, mst3K, malory
N--nazarae, norway
O--oreo cookie blizzards
P--photography
Q--questioning personality
R--running, romanesque architecture
S--sardonic humor, spain, solitude, steamed crabs
T--toby, tin roof sundae ice cream, trivial pursuit, triathlons, travel
U--underwear (not a nasty thing, i swear; it has to be cuter than cute. oh nevermind.)
V--volleyball, vocal music, vacation
W--waking up to natural sunlight and summer breezes, weightlifting, workouts
X--xTerra trail series (trail running races)
Y--yuengling, yellow crayons
Z--zen, zoos

iGot the iPod! ...and some other stuff too. :)

2007-04-02T21:20:00.000-04:00

fun stuff is here! YAY! it's a cute little white, 30GB video iPod. now i can go nuts while i work out... but right now, i'm just freaking out b/c i'm listening to VH1's I Love the 90s. awesome.

WHOOMP! THERE IT IS!

anyway. my swimwear is here as well. swim (aside from goggles) and run taken care of, bike is next. but in the meantime, these are the items received today:

yeah, the second brief isn't speedo XDskin like the other one, but at $15 for ironman, i'll take it. now that i actually have these, i am excited four times over. i'll be starting to rotate pool workouts into my weekly gym calendar, hopefully getting there twice this week.

this weekend, i'm going to a bike shop in PA with my dad, and hopefully i'll be able to snag a decent bike and a good helmet at a reasonable price. cross your fingers. once that's back here, the full-on triathlon training can begin in earnest.

IT'S ON!

:)

disturbed by iran

2007-04-01T17:56:00.000-04:00

on a serious note... is iran really pushing this hard? how far is it trying to go?? this following piece of brilliance, a product of the recent arrest of British military officers, is something that i refuse to accept as genuine capitulation: ""I am writing to you as a British service person who has been sent to Iraq, sacrificed due to the intervening policies of the Bush and Blair governments" (thanks to CNN for the quote). that's just a bit too convenient, with language that obviously leans too far toward the discourse of the sacrificial lamb.

it's a piece (and by that, i mean all words purportedly from the sailor's hand) that too easily and glibly lays blame on specific parties. it's unabashedly a text meant to play the media card, one that the two 'indicted' governments will never believe as genuine. indeed, Tony Blair voices the collective disdain for the charade: "All this does is enhance people's sense of disgust. Captured personnel being paraded and manipulated in this way doesn't fool anyone." (again, thanks to CNN, same article as above).

while numbers of westerners would discount the letter's authenticity from the get-go, i find a further dead giveaway is the language. it simply doesn't embody the subtle nuances and veracity of the trauma and repentence and/or regret evinced by such a situation. it shows a lack of understanding the vocabulary necessary to truly represent the inner maelstrom of a captive. of course, it's logical to say that a captor would not allow a communique that is not in its favor, but in this particular instance, the transparency of this letter is sadly, and, if it made be said this way, frighteningly laughable.

parade magazine has created a list of the world's ten worst dictators, and indeed, it is a sobering portrait of the leaders contending with bastions of western ideals (however right or wrong they may be). if you peruse the list, ahmadinejad does not appear on his own, but rather as an arm of seyed ali khamane'i, the leader of iran's Guardian Council. parade does indicate that within the definition of dictator, the individual cannot be removed by legal means. i would suppose that this means ahmadinejad is not eligible for his own ranking, as he could be replaced in the next election. does this suggest that he is merely a mouthpiece for the hardline council? is he the polemic that can be the target of western disdain and frustration, to draw attention away from those truly in control of the government machinations?

what's next? for myriad reasons, i feel that we ought not to be iraq, and the ubiquitous analogies to the vietnam war are wearing on the older half of my generation. does this tension with iran mark another stage in our collective, societal maturation process? are we to face the fear of nuclear war, as did our boomer parents? or, is it to become reality, except on much more horrific, terroristic levels?

where do we stand?

weekend update

2007-03-31T11:54:00.000-04:00

1) all's well on the brother front. i'm thankful for that.

2) toby does not, in fact, have an ear infection. rather, he has a "hot spot" (an extremely itchy spot of irritation on a dog's skin) inside of his ear. now he has to be on a steroidal anti-inflammatory again to reduce and hopefully get rid of the problem. :(

3) it's almost Easter break. my kids are nuts because they know that we teachers can't really get anything three meaningful done before Holy Thursday. while i enjoy teaching at a Catholic school and do earnestly believe that having mass/services at appropriate times is necessary, we have so many interrupted days and classes at this point. i'm scrambling as how to cover the important material before standardized testing begins.

4) standardized testing begins TWO DAYS after the kids get back from break. that's so cruel. i feel sorry for them. of course, i felt sorry for myself having to sit through an awful, too-long meeting on how to administer the tests. misery certainly does love company.

5) i was smarter at being compulsively stupid this week. i went to the gym three times but was very judicious in time spent and amount done. now, while i'm still a little bit touch-and-go, i'll be able to get back in the saddle a bit sooner, and stronger, than i thought possible.

6) i've ordered the fun stuff as well as some of the tri stuff. the fun stuff probably won't get here for another two weeks, due to middlemen, but it's worth the wait. and, truth be told, the tri stuff... well, it was all swimwear for both training and racing. i can't help it. now i'll have a total of 8 swimsuits/bikinis. yes, i am addicted. anyway, i still have to get goggles, a bike, and a helmet. i'm hoping to get that done in the next two weeks. then i'm all set!

7) i'll be signing up for the governor's bay bridge 10K. it's the first time i'll be running it, and casey is going with me. it's cool that she and i are doing it together. :) plus, the freebie is a really nice sports bag. awesome.

8) i'm looking for dates/times/ways to get to LA this summer. visiting wendy will be so much fun, and i'm hoping to relax on the pacific beaches. while i've driven around the city, this will be my first time actually staying there. it'll be fun to explore some place new, and i'm also desperate to get to a beach! getting two goals in one trip is my kind of efficiency.

9) i'm wondering how scholarly my products of scholarship truly are. i'm preparing to take the GREs again, and i'm also formulating my statement of purpose. why do i love literature? the simple answer is that it is who we are, especially when we don't know what that is. there are many things over which i poured, and without them, i wouldn't have seen so deeply into my core. however, that may not wash with graduate acceptance committees, and faculty may not see much value in such idealized notions of human synthesis. that's what makes me nervous about my work.

10) spring is here! i love the fresh air, the longer hours of natural sunlight, the warm breezes, and the sounds of birds during the day and frogs at night. it's easier to get outside and run, and it's wonderful to watch toby romp through the grasses, chasing every imaginable moving thing. the manifestation of environmental rebirth always stirs something in me, and it is a phenomenon for which i am always grateful.

on being compulsively stupid

2007-03-26T16:16:00.000-04:00

i can't help it. i can't sit at home this evening. i have to go to the gym. i can't stand not working out. my muscles twitch with irritation, saying, "why the hell haven't we been to our favorite place for MORE THAN TWO DAYS?!"

*sigh.*

i have crabby muscles.

BUT, on the up-side, I'M ORDERING BOTH TRI STUFF AND OTHER FUN STUFF THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!!!!

YEE-HAW!

i will post pix of the items once they arrive at my chateau. i don't want to ruin the surprise.

;)

on back pain and cleaning the apartment

2007-03-25T18:43:00.000-04:00

just don't do it. seriously. if your lower back is causing you to scream and writhe, don't be consumed by the need to clean the kitchen and bathroom floors. and especially don't be so picky that you're not satisfied until you get down on your knees and scrub back into the tiniest corner.

come on. i had today all laid out as a keep the feet up, use the heating pad, do the lesson planning kind of day. instead, i feel compelled to make a run to towson and timonium to check out bikes and swimwear. then i take a nap in probably the most uncomfortable position on my recliner. then i wake up, have a totally unhealthful dinner (although chicken nuggets from trader joe's ARE really good), and feel no rest until i clean the floor so as to see my reflection. okay, well i didn't really get that far, but still. the question is:

WHY CAN I NOT LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE AND GIVE MYSELF TIME TO RECOVER FROM INJURY?!

if somebody could be on my case about this, i'd really appreciate it.

|: (

oh and FYI--i am NEVER this anal about neatness...

it's a crummy rainy day, but i still did my hair.

2007-03-24T14:53:00.000-04:00

some days, you just have to make your hair beautiful. today was one of those days. i'm not going anywhere special or trying to impress anybody. i just want to have silky hair today. i don't know why.

anyway. today is/was errands, cleaning house, cooking, reading, watching basketball and nursing my aching back. i'm so very tempted to go to the gym just to sit in the sauna, but i know that i would be the idiot. "oh two minutes on the bike wouldn't hurt. and some upper body lifts would help. and then some squats... and core work... and" then some screaming in excrutiating pain. i'm already extra sore from walking around for a few hours and toting groceries and library books this morning. so as miserable as it makes me to be benched with injuries, i've decided to be less miserable in the long term by parking my ass on the recliner for the rest of the day. bleh. it's a tough life.

can this misery have a little company please? and by company, i mean somebody willing to bring over some chinese and family guy dvds?

:)

how old is old?

2007-03-23T17:31:00.000-04:00

my back hurts like hell. my hamstring had been bugging me since january, but i've been soldiering through. that's bad idea #1. bad idea #2 is me upping my workout frequency in order to get my base fitness in before moving to tri-specific sessions. good idea #1 was taking a break after sunday when i got sharp pains in my lower back muscles during core work. bad idea #3 was not taking a break for long enough and running last night.

i felt decent enough to run, even though part of me knew that i was being an idiot. so, i decided to just go with the idiot idea and ran harder than i normally do. consequently, my back hurts, my butt hurts, my hip hurts, my hamstrings hurt, and my whole right leg is up in arms and considering a mutiny to make me hop the plank. anyway, i'm making myself just lay here all evening in my favorite recliner, and i'll have to take at least another week off. part of me is tempted to hit up the pool and sauna next monday or so, but we'll see how idiotic i feel that day.

other stuff is fine. i have to stick a sock in brian's mouth because he's the one who said i should come over and workout. he's a great guy and an awesome friend. but seriously. don't encourage the idiot. HOWEVER, i can't come down on him too hard since he has availed his 60" HD obnoxiously complicated tv to me, and brian, rom, and i got to watch some serious family guy the other night. plus, he got me taco bell for dinner. awesome.

at this point, i'm riding out the school year (only ~50 days left, and that includes field trips and other no-class days) and getting more and more excited about the tri. if i can get some people to come up to PA with me, that would be ridiculously awesome. but i digress.

okay, i have to paint some more bengay on myself and scream and writhe as my muscles spasm and attack my spirit. hopefully, watching a butler upset of florida will make me feel worlds better.

i <3 turbo tax... and toby's new hedgehog.

2007-03-18T13:35:00.000-04:00

i won't go into tacky details, but turbo tax helped me uncover deductions for which i didn't even know i was eligible. consequently, i can have a new little savings cushion, plus some left over to splurge on triathlon equipment and an iPod. YAY!

and maybe i can get toby some new toys. yesterday, i did gift him with a new hedgehog. this is not just any squeaky. this is the uber-hedgehog, the mutant version of the species. he loves it, tries to eat it, chases it when it's thrown, and sleeps on it.

fyi--if you haven't noticed already, toby is pretty damn spoiled.

:)

i wouldn't be surprised if there was such a thing as karma...

2007-03-17T18:27:00.000-04:00

so after my mean-spirited gloats at duke's loss in the first round, i pay the price with maryland's loss in the second round. i couldn't watch the game as closely as i wanted because the only time i had to watch was also the only time i had to go to the gym. consequently, i ended up on the stationary bike for 45 minutes (yay, individual cardio theatre!) and in the free weights area (thank you, many inch flat screen tv!). that was the one time i tailored my workout around a basketball, but it was worth it, i think.

ANYWAY, i was impressed with butler's stingey defense and outside 3's. plus, i really wish that maryland would learn that it can't always rally. seriously. we don't need heart-attack wins every single time. get out in front with time to spare, and hold on like there's no tomorrow. i think mastering that would win the terps a little more respect. too bad that this was the end to strawberry's collegiate career. does anybody know what he'll be up to after graduation? is he a candidate for the pros? i don't follow the nba at all, so i have no idea.

this makes me sad. a little. until my pizza's done. i can be such a fickle fan.

:)

thoughts and sympathies

2007-03-15T21:59:00.000-04:00

please use the comment option to leave a message for the duke blue devils. i'll post the best ones for all to see once i get a good number.

:)

awesome

2007-03-15T21:41:00.000-04:00

for the record:

first round--VCU Rams 79, Duke Blue Devils 77

what going-away present should we get for the devils? any ideas? a "wish you were here" card?

today

2007-03-15T20:56:00.000-04:00

duke had better lose... seriously. they probably won't. but i'll comment on today's games tomorrow since there's so much yet to come.

here's a random (and likely bizarre) question--if the nature of believing changes, does the belief itself necessarily change as well?

atencion!

2007-03-14T20:57:00.000-04:00

so here's the thing, appointment-makers:

when you make an appointment, COME TO THE DAMN APPOINTMENT! please, if for any reason, you cannot make the appointment, i'd appreciate a heads-up. if, after you've made the appointment, write the appointment down the day that you make the appointment. i really need appointments to be met, especially when the appointment-makers are making said appointments for the benefit of someone else.

moral of the story: COME TO THE DAMN APPOINTMENT!

thank you.

so here's the thing, fellow gym-ers:

when you're done with a piece of equipment, WIPE IT DOWN! when you're around the equipment (in the middle of sets, around weights, etc.), GET OFF THE DAMN CELL PHONE! when you're using free weights, DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR FOR AN HOUR CHECKING OUT HOW MANY WOMEN/MEN ARE CHECKING YOU OUT! when you're on the treadmill, don't stare at my console; JUST BE CONCERNED WITH YOUR OWN DAMN WORKOUT! when lifting near others, STICK WITH YOUR OWN DETERMINED WEIGHT AND REPS! do we understand that our fitness is not competition? do we understand that it's about well-being, not vanity? do we understand that we don't need to be reached at all times in all places? do we understand that you're being )*!@&$^!_(@*#!&@#E and seriously getting in other people's way?

moral of the story: HAVE A SENSE OF COURTESY FOR YOUR FELLOW GYM-ERS!

thank you.

un-garbled

2007-03-12T20:24:00.000-04:00

i'm more than excited. first of all, triathlon gear will be easier to obtain than i previously figured. WOO! also, i ran the shamrock 5K (see earlier post), and i felt good through the whole run. WOO again! next, i did more diamond push-ups today! YEE-HAW!!! this tells me that i'm getting closer to my goal of being in shape for august's triathlon!!!!

i'm wondering what i'll do after that...or, for that matter, what i'll do before that. i'm definitely doing the VA 5K memorial day weekend. there's also the dreaded dru hills 10K. you'll have to shoot me afterward to put me out of my misery (see event name), but it's definitely an award-worthy race, very well done. other possibles:

Governor's Bay Bridge Run (5/6)
Lake Roland Rumble Trail Race (6/10)
Philadelphia Distance Run (9/16)
Army 10 (10/7)

pipe dream:
Valley of Fire Marathon, Half & 10K (las vegas, 11/?)

any suggestions?

garbled

2007-03-12T11:29:00.000-04:00

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

oh now feel it comin' back again
like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
this moment she's been waiting for
the angel opens her eyes
pale blue colored iris,
presents the circle
and puts the glory out to hide, hide

and this is how it feels with bipolar disorder sometimes, an alternate or sometimes simultaneous awareness of debilitating confusion and fierce clarity, both joined by unrelenting fear locking horns with impossible hope. don't be surprised if that makes no sense. that'd actually be a fairly accurate reaction. today is a day for no decisions, for robotic existence, rote errands, and pre-planned escape from pressure. otherwise, it all falls apart, and the mental sea becomes frighteningly destructive. it's only appropriate that i fear drowning above all things.

eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-11T22:08:00.000-04:00

this little kid has just found her candy store!!!! courtesy of www.SportsIllustrated.com, we have our BRACKET!!!

you can count on seeing a much larger version on the chalkboard in my classroom, with frequent updates throughout game days.

even though i can't stand dicky v...

it's on, baby, yeah!

Shamrock 5K, 3/11/07... and i do have eyebrows.

2007-03-11T20:36:00.000-04:00

today was good. dad and i did the shamrock 5K downtown, and we had fun. we had only a few gripes about the race this year, as opposed to the many gripes we had had before, so that was a marked improvement. the field was as big as ever (~3000 runners), and it took dad and i awhile to cross the start line. one of my two favorite things about the race is the descent down charles . as you make your way over the crest of the hill, there's this astonishing view of green flowing down the street. the mass of clover-clad runners boggles the mind. unfortunately, i couldn't obtain any pictures of the route around the harbor, but we basically went around to key highway with a turnaround at jackson and circled back to pratt and ended at Power Plant Live. had it not been for the sheer number of runners, it definitely could be a PR course.

afterward, there was food and fun to be had, with bananas, pretzels, chips, water, and--best of all--FREE BEER. SCORE! to be honest, i've never taken advantage of free alcohol after a race for two reasons. i need to hydrate, not de- after a race. plus, when it comes to drinking, i'm enough of a lightweight as it is. but today...well, it was nice today. because...

today was good.

favorite ways to mellow out

2007-03-07T13:38:00.000-04:00

these are listed in no particular order:

1) napping on the couch--it's not the greatest piece of furniture in the world, but my couch is somehow perfect when i need that black-out kind of nap
2) getting psychologized by steve or kim--two fantastic friends who have refreshingly practical views of the world; they ever so gently smack me up side the head when it's too far up in the clouds
3) working out at the gym--i could go on forever about fitness; it's been a part of my life since i was 3 or 4, and i've always found that it can be a most cathartic experience.
4) candle-lit bubble bath--it's just one of those things
5) playing with the dog--messing around with toby brings me back to very simple nature. i throw the ball, he runs and gets it and tries to tackle me upon returning the ball: uncomplicated fun. that's the best.
6) losing track of time as i play the piano--this is where i can really get lost in my own little world. my fingers get swept up in the motion of the melody and harmony, and they pretty much take over, drowning out the din of my surroundings.
7) cleaning the kitchen--there's something about an assertion of order in one of the more chaotic rooms in the apartment.
8) reading/napping by a body of water--i'm not a tanner. i don't go outside with the intent to bake. i slather myself in sunblock and stay in the shade if the sun is wicked. that said, there's something about natural light and warmth in combination with a breeze coming off the water that i find incredibly soothing. that's why i'm so excited to be living across from my complex's pool! awesome.
9) running--this is one of my favorite ways to see the world, and i don't restrict that phrase to discovering new locations. running is simple and democratic. it can simultaneously provide solitude and comraderie. when approached with the intent to enjoy, it brings peace of mind, phsyical strength, and mental endurance. one of my strongest memories of awe and relaxation is my run in culebra, puerto rico. i ran the length of the tiny island in 45 minutes, and it was the first time i'd ever seen anything close to tropical paradise. there's a lot more to that run, but for the sake of brevity, you'll just have to trust that it was breathtaking and life-changing.
10) writing--whether they're in my blog, a journal, a letter (sent or not), words transposed allow my mind to make sense of that which had been plaguing me. they represent a liberty from and produced by my own thoughts. that's a rather complicated part of me, but it is an irrefutable truth that writing is essential to who i am.

underlying almost all of these is music. por ejemplo, jurassic 5 "freedom" is playing as i write this post. "live and let die" and "body rock" accompany my workouts. i fall asleep listening to jazz on npr. i pretty much have some form of music on at all times. this might be a completely ludicrous hypothesis, but i imagine that, when my left brain tries to assert itself with an unusual urgency, the right side protests the stress and thus seeks any and all forms of expression. as music is the most immediately available, it has become integral to my everyday life.

"Yo, raise the level, bass bottom to treble
Forever keep it ghetto
Funk and heavy metal
Fuck the devil
Unify the rebel
Whistle like a kettle
With a fly acapello
Smooth and mellow
Locked load and settle
Shine through times with rhymes bright like yellow
Taste and swallow, lead and never follow
Break it like a bottle
Inspire like a role model"

--"i am somebody," jurassic 5

al franken fans will have a field day with this one...and in other news

2007-03-04T11:06:00.000-04:00

when there's not enough fuel for the fire, count on ann coulter to save the day!

and in other news, denmark has a 3rd consecutive night of unrest. while protests and violence are certainly regrettable everywhere, i'm particularly struck by the recent rottenness in this state*. in this case, it's the government vs. the anti-establishment, and it just goes against every image that i have of the Danes. it's such a beautiful country, with a very friendly, laid-back population, and its rather under-the-radar attitude allows for a relaxed flexibility when it comes to dealing with significant social and political issues. i really hope that this situation gets resolved quickly and peacefully.

as anti-american as some may see it, i do agree with critics' denunciation of the Pizza Hut Book-It program. it was implemented in one of the two elementary schools that i attended, and i honestly don't recall my parents ever taking advantage of the free pizza prize. it's not that they would never indulge us; rather, mom and dad had taught geoff and me something very, very important. by the time we were both able to read, my brother and i realized that it was a fun and enjoyable activity all its own. we didn't associate food with reading. that's the problem that i see with the pizza-based incentive program. by and large, youngsters are learning that everything worth doing comes with food attached. there is no emphasis on something being its own reward. i acknowledge that we adults do it too; it's the mentality that if i spend 30 minutes on the treadmill, than i can treat myself to the death by chocolate dessert at X restaurant. the difference comes with impressionability. adults should know better. but in first or second grade, children experience an onslaught of stimuli, and it's their first instinct to choose that which results in the optimal pleasure pay-off, whether or not it's good for them. Pizza Hut should be ashamed of itself (but of course it's not) for taking advantage of a young, captive audience, and this deplorable corporate sponsorship of childhood gluttony needs to end as quickly as possible.

what is going on with men's college basketball? there have been so many upsets of late, and it's made me even more excited about the possibilities for march madness. right now, i'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for both the AP poll update AND the tournament selection. according to an espn "bracketologist" (come on, are you serious?), maryland gets the #4 seed in the east bracket with first round play against gonzaga. with the terps on a hot streak and gonzaga trying to juggle a lot at home, it has the chance of being a really lop-sided game. on the other hand, this is basketball, where it's conceivable that basement-dweller Wake can beat likely season conference winner Virginia. all in all, this is going to be an exciting field this year. and hopefully florida with bite the big one early on. that'd make me pretty happy.

;)

*please excuse my blatant and probably inappropriate shakespeare reference. i just couldn't help myself.

Total K.O. for the Terrapins!

2007-03-03T18:25:00.000-04:00

nobody gives UMD credit. people were predicting another NIT appearance, and even with that, a quick exit there. so, you'll understand when i say that this feels good. this feels sooooo good. maryland JUST finished a good old-fashioned beatin on nc state, to round out the thumping of duke and embarrassment of unc. the terps are going to roll into the ACC tournament with great momentum and most likely a #4 seed. i can't wait to see the unc/duke game tomorrow, and i especially can't wait to see the updated rankings.

now, i honestly admit that i really don't pay attention to much basketball outside of the ACC, so i don't know what teams would be a good match for the terps. i don't mean teams that would simply steamroll or anything; i mean those that would push the speed and strategy, one that would force an incredible game. so tell me this--in the ncaa at large, what team or teams would be a great match for the terps?

of course, with all of the upsets lately, top ranks aren't necessarily locked. am i right? it really could be, no pun intended, anybody's game. somebody help me on this. i don't know what i'll do once all the tournaments (conference and ncaa) are over. i think i would cry...

:P

review: Thirsty Dog Pub

2007-03-03T13:21:00.001-04:00

Last night, I went to the Thirsty Dog Pub in Federal Hill. I hadn't been there since July of `06, so it was nice to head in again. I'm finding more and more people who have never been to a bunch of the fun places downtown, so in my effort to edimucate newly-planted Baltimoreans, here's a review.

1. Physical environment--rather narrow. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that T.Dog inserted itself into a former rowhouse, so the width (or lack thereof) can't really be helped. The drawback there is that it makes seating a pain. While they do have two floors, it's still tough to be lucky enough to snag a table or a booth. It's not super-cramped, as you can stand at the sides and everything, so it's not all bad. Grade--C

2. Waitstaff--very friendly, very attentive, and very cool. We basically had three people checking up on us periodically, clearing away the mugs and plates, as more beer arrived. One thing that I really appreciated was that, despite their numerous appreances at our table, they didn't try to jump into our conversations. One of my major pet-peeves is when waitstaff try to insert themselves into parties where they don't really belong. Kudos to T.Dog employees for great service and personality. Grade--A

3. Food--good and fantastic. I ordered the hot pretzel plate last night, per craving, and I got three generously sized servings. To my surprise, however, they were plain. No salt, no nothing. They did have sides of spicy mustard and salt in which to dip said pretzels, but you could only get one end of the bite salty. That was a bit too much for me, as I prefer the salt to be evenly spaced. Eating them plain was fine, and they tasted pretty good, but I wanted the salt format to be different. Now. Completely beyond the A+ grade of food is T.Dog pizza. I can't even describe it. So many flavors, so many intriguing combinations of toppings, so many possibilities for enjoyment (especially the Atomic Dog Pizza, which is two pizzas stacked on each other) that I just can't contain myself. That pushes the grade for food up. Grade--B+

4. Beer--most important. FANTASTIC. I'll admit that I'm not a beer connossieur (sp?), but the number of choices is refreshing. I expecially like the fact that there is no Bud, no Miller Lite, no Coors, no Heineken, no Beast, no nothing shitty. These are all inside jobs, and my order last night was the Black Dog, a nice, dark, smooth brew that is kind to a girl who doesn't drink much. I also like how they bring you two mugs at once. They're not a pint each, so it's not too much, but for some reason it makes more sense to have two. I have no idea why. That's just how I feel. It was good. Grade--A

5. Prices--very reasonable. $3.50 for a quality beer (two mugs) and ~$9 for an amazing pizza. Doesn't get much better than that in gentrified Federal Hill. Grade--A

6. Overall atmosphere--despite the small size, it's a relaxed and fun place. I daresay it's cozy. Everybody there is very chill and friendly, and striking up interesting conversation with other patrons (and I don't mean hitting on the opposite sex) is not unusual. Favorite part (you should not be surprised at this if you know me at all): you can bring your dog. He/she must be leashed, of course, and proper behavior is expected, but the staff is quite agile in navigating the bar with random canines laying around. It just makes the place that much more fun, and the dogs tend to be as relaxed as their human companions. They just lend a bit of ... how shall I put it... that nothing's-so-pressing-that-I-can't-lay-down-and-loosen-up-for-awhile attitude to the place. And that's a mindset that we could all afford to take on. Grade--A+

Overall grade--A. I highly recommend visiting the Thirsty Dog Pub if you've never been there, and I'd recommend revisits for those who haven't gone in a while. It's most definitely worth it!

Next to be reviewed: Little Havana's on Key Highway, Metropolitan Cafe, Vespa's, J. Patrick's, and some pub on Cross & Riddle whose name I can't remember. Look for those critiques sometime in the future.

Okay, now I'm hungry... must eat... :)

Re: Blue Devils Basketball

2007-03-01T00:11:00.000-04:00

stick a fork in it--it's done*

terps knock out the tarheels*
terps knock out the blue devils*

wolfpack, your number's up

;)

to feel kim's pain, see below

2007-02-28T21:26:00.000-04:00

so, kim has had a battle with shopping as of late* i can more than sympathize, as can most women* so, in order to solve our collective problem with the fashion world, i'm spreading the net to get more answers to her wardrobe update questions* PLEASE contribute!!!* gentlemen, it'd certainly be interesting (whether or not it's actually helpful) to hear your side as well* :)

Wardrobe Update: Questions

Please please answer, ladies!

Can you wear stockings with open toed shoes? Honestly?
Tights - not the footless kind (ick), but more like opaque tights/panty hose - are they in?
No stockings during the winter - is this appropriate?
Tan/nude stockings - out or in?
Are people actually wearing dress shorts with heels and whatever the cropped pants are called? I've seen these in the store, but I have to admit that I've seen no one actually wearing them.
Is a store like Talbots or Ann Taylor going to be too momish for me? I don't want to look like after work, I'm taking the kiddies to soccer.
Why is this so hard?

My own answers:

1) noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo* for some reason, this makes me think of the 80s in all its glory* let's not repeat history*

2) they are, but it can be really hard to get the look right* personally, even though i know it can be done, i've been too chicken to try it

3) if you're a very prim dresser, than there MUST be stockings in the winter* i ask myself one thing: is there is skin showing between the hem of my dress/skirt and the top of my shoe/boot? if yes, then i wear stockings, largely because i'm white as snow, and my legs look a little silly when they're that pale* if no, then i put on my warm socks under my boots and enjoy thumbing my nose as some ladies i knew when i was a girl in middle school* don't worry, THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE!

:P

4) tan-out, nude-in; unless the stockings are hardcore opaque (see #2) or nude enough to match your natural skin color, they just look a bit odd*

5) women do wear this look, but it's really hard to pull off unless you have a specific body type (eg, tall and rail thin)* gauchos are almost impossible because they will simply drape over a woman's curves, and if that's not something you want to excentuate (sp?), you're screwed* what i have is a pair of cropped pants with structure and cut to them, and hot damn do they look smokin with a set of heels* look for some of those (got mine at Express or Limited, i think)

6) Talbot's, yes, Ann Taylor, no* Ann Taylor is great because the separates can be combined in really classy but modern looks* banana republic can be good for that too, but sometimes it's borderling too trendy* actually, target is going in the right direction, but the downfall with moderately priced clothing is that the tailoring isn't as great--some target pants have great potential, but they have a gap above the butt* too bad* i would HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest hitting up Filene's Basement--it's a re-retail store for higher end stuff* i got a bcbg party top (originally priced at $80) for $20* it's not second hand but just last season* and from the vibe i'm getting, you don't care about the season* and that's perfect for filene's*

7) it's so hard because the reasonably priced clothes aren't always tailored that well and fall apart fairly quickly* a lot of the expensive clothing doesn't really match our age group and maintain a modern edge to it* or, the fashion out there is just plain slutty, matronly or weird* take your pick

now i dare you to explain THIS

2007-02-28T07:14:00.000-04:00

now i know that tons of people (sometimes myself included) believe that U2 has jumped the shark, mostly because they feel that Bono might as well be jumping on Oprah's couch* and a LOT of people are tired of the aforementioned frontman's ubiquitous presence in the international-social-economic-free-trade-etc-etc conversation* but put that aside for a second, and just read his address at the 54th National Prayer Breakfast*

if you check out the "speaking of faith" web page, you'll see pictures of the singer smiling with jesse helms and president bush* what i REALLY want to bring attention to is this picture:

yes, that's Barak Obama, if you can't tell* AND, npr informed us that shortly after one of their reporters left after an interview, Bono was waiting at barak's door* there must be many possible explanations for his arrival, none of which i feel like debating* but--given Bono's equal popularity and, well, unpopularity, my question is this: if Obama was to strike up a partnership of sorts with the rock star, how would that affect his run for the white house?

please explain that to me*

picture courtesy of American Public Media, "Speaking of Faith" http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/evangelicalevolution/bono-prayerbreakfast.shtml, accessed 28 Feb 07*

explain these to me

2007-02-27T22:34:00.000-04:00

1) why my butt hurts after a workout that concentrated on my upper body

2) why, when it came time for dinner, i craved tuna like there was no tomorrow

3) why Tennessee is creaming Florida in men's basketball (8 min left in the 1st half)* is Florida really losing its magic?

4) why Maryland and Duke basically hold a tie in the ACC (Maryland is slightly ahead considering points for and points against)* how did this happen? (not that i'm complaining) did anyone see this in the stars?

5) why (to take a cue from WN) kevin federline doesn't have custody of his sons yet* clearly, since the divorce, britney has been all but screaming for help (see her cueball `do), and he actually comes off as the responsible one, bringing their boys to see her while she's in rehab

6) why they bother with the oscars at all anymore* the general public often does not agree or respect the decisions of the "academy," and they also usually go to bed before the end of the show* really, folks--2 hrs should be more than enough time to dole out the little statuettes* does anybody else feel that it's just an over-hyped, narcissistic (sp?), self-congratulatory night of excess?

7) why dick vitale hasn't had his mouth duct-taped shut yet

8) why al gore bothered to make a joke out of entering the `08 presidential race* with all the crap that's already present, do we really need to have somebody else jerking us around?

9) why your everyday educators get such crappy salaries* don't give me the economy reason, please* although, according to the inimitable Gary Rohrback, it's all economic*

10) why we don't all try to do jobs that we love* for me, i've putzed around enough and gotten enough experience teaching Every Single Age Group Around, and i've realized that i just have to bite the proverbial bullet* or, as in the case of graduate school, the financial bullet, the relocation bullet, the workload bullet, and the social life bullet* but, even with all of that, i know what i want* i know that i love phd level work, and i know that i love the material* so, i could get a job (theoretically) as a copywriter or some other such higher paying thing* but, i'd rather give all my energy and get smaller pay for something that i feel makes a difference for both myself and others* just an idea*

much love to Gary Rohrback! EIML, baby!

yum

2007-02-26T22:39:00.000-04:00

hot chocolate makes everything so much better...

:)

long day

2007-02-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

you'd think that a 2hr delay would make a school day zip by* well, you'd be wrong, you non-teachers* today was rather torturous* the students were out-of-hand, logically, because they didn't have the whole day off* also, classes were truncated by 20 minutes each because of the shortened day, so that basically screwed all of my lessons* when i got home, toby didn't want to have anything to do with me* that's unusual for him* he only changed his tune when he came over and sat on my foot* steve believes that this means, "hey ma! i have to poo!" as soon as i got up, toby started jumping over to the door like a crazy dog (although that's usually the kind of dog he is anyway)* and hoo boy, when we walked, he certainly (to put it in a sanitary way) did his thing* so, if you ever come to visit, watch out if toby tries to sit on your foot*

i went to the gym after walking toby, and it just seemed to drag on* normally, i'm there for at least 2-2 1/2 hours, but i just needed a rest* consequently, i only did 25 minutes (11 miles) on the bike and no free weights* instead of the free weights, i just kicked my own ass by doing the entire balance workout that larry taught me* now, larry is awesome* larry is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic* he's also incredibly gifted, athletically speaking* he's also a nice guy*

but anyway, the balance workout basically revolves around 2 half-cylinders about 5 or 6 inches in diameter and 4 to 5 feet in length each* the flat side is placed down on the floor, and the two half cylinders at placed end-to-end* i would walk to the end and back (backwards, of course), and then i'd walk to the end and back while picking up a medicine ball and then putting it back down on the floor* i'd do each twice for each leg/side, and if i lost my balance and fell, i'd start over* after doing those, i'd stand with one foot on the half cylinders and bring one foot to the inner thigh of the other* i'd bring it back down and step with the next foot* and so on and so forth* last, on those half cylinders, i would set my foot and then lower my upper body and raise my back leg, so as to look like superman who really wants to fly but is afraid to pick up both legs* the LAST things that i do involve these circular balloon-y things* i squat and do figure-eights around my legs with a medicine ball* then, sans ball, i just squat for 30 seconds*

larry is a wonderful person who exudes confidence and an uplifting spirit, but this workout made me hate him* it kills the ankles, the arches, the inner and outer thighs, the quads, the hams, and the butt* at least i know it's working though* the excellent part of the workout is that it demands total focus* shut out the miserable day, shut out a distracted day, shut out all the hoo-ha of the day, and center the mind soley on the placement of the body* it's a tremendous stress reliever*

all told, my gym outing relaxed and recentered me* for my students' sake, let's hope i stay that way tomorrow*

;)

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-25T20:40:00.000-04:00

YEAH, MARYLAND!!!!!

EAT IT, HANSBOROUGH & co!

LOOK OUT, BLUE DEVILS!
LOOK OUT, WOLFPACK!

Y'ALL IN FOR SOME TROUBLE!!!!!!!

:)

again, another stolen quiz

2007-02-24T22:43:00.000-04:00

Sandra's Variety Quiz

this may be sandra's, but i stole it from kim :)

1. Go to a bookshelf in your home, preferrably not filled with work-related stuff. Pick a shelf and go along, naming 5-10 books that are unrelated in topic. Whether you have even read them doesn't matter!

Grendel, Imperial Woman, An Unquiet Mind, Heretic's Heart, The Ground Beneath Her Feet

2. What is the proportion of people to TV viewing apparatus in your home?

1 TV, 1 person

3. Go to your drawer of crap. Name 5-10 different items.

kitchen towels, batteries, chinese take-out menus, a screw-driver, beer bottle opener

4. Look at your fingernails and describe.

nice, clean with no polish, rounded edges, making my fingers look slender and very feminine

5. Sinead or Britney?

Nooooothing compares to Sinead

6. Milk or dark chocolate?

dark, always dark

7. Kitchen utensil drawer inspections. Yep, pick an odd drawer and name 5-10 items.

copper measuring spoons, another beer bottle opener, non-matching numbers of knives, spoons and forks, straws, little baby wisk

8. Look at your IM list of friends etc. Name the occupation fo 5-10 people. Please do NOT share their handles or real names.

computer programmer, pr person, middle school math teacher, professor of fun, photographer

9. Do you recycle? Why or why not?

yes, and so committed that i'll drive 20 minutes to the nearest recycling center (my apt complex doesn't collect recycling)

10. Name the last 5-10 items you purchased.

necklace, bcbg top, groceries at trader joe's, dunkin donuts coffee, dog food

new mountain to climb

2007-02-24T13:43:00.000-04:00

so i've pretty much had this decided since thanksgiving, but it's coming into focus more and more* my new physical challenge to conquer is the sprint triathlon* sure, many people have completed tris and do them all the time, so much so that, to them, tris are no more exciting then a spoonful of dirt* but for me, it's so much more*

years ago, i decided i wanted to try a marathon* i hemmed and hawwed (sp?) and finally fell into the training* i wasn't fully convinced of some of the philosophies behind stuff, and consequently, my heart wasn't completely in it* i finished, and i was really proud of myself, and i keep the medal and everything like that* but the tri is different* it's something i didn't expect to want, and there's something new and scary about it* i like that* when i run/crawl across the finish line, it will be mine* whether or not i ever do another one, i'll have accomplished something i didn't think i'd do*

with the marathon, i never had dreams of doing six or twenty or anything like that* i didn't have any visions of bumping things up to ultras (50-100+ mile marathons)* but, depending on how hooked i get (and i really think i could get hooked), it would be amazing to someday do an ironman* can you imagine? i don't know that i'd ever be good enough to qualify for the gatorade ironman in hawaii, but why not? how would that not be amazing? how unreal would that be to push my body to its limits? i so want to find out how that feels***

now can somebody get me a bike? :)

shout out!

2007-02-23T07:26:00.000-04:00

No particular order:

m?
lray
camaral
khubbard
shubbard
mmolter
lbauer
bmartin (thanks for the email--i'll get back to you on that, seriously man, thank you)
amartin
mcarroll-mason
ctruffer, et al (umbc)
cjenkins
bhabecker
bhanrahan
nfry
cmeawad (the meatwad!)
dfisher
rjohnson
jskopp
m/d/m/k/gmbeatty
cwiley
kporter
fdierken
and--last, but DEFINITELY not least--shandy

many others, so if you're not listed, you're still not forgotten* i just have to leave for school NOW!* :)

oh! definitely not done* HUGE one to (drumroll please)-----

toby :)

*guys, consider yourselves awesome*

reflection

2007-02-21T21:20:00.000-04:00

so today is ash wednesday, the start of lent* we had mass at school today, and monsignor hartnett said some really interesting things* what caught me the most was what commitment a person can make in this season leading to easter--it's not necessarily what you give up, but what you give* i'd already decided that i was going to forego soda; i'm trying to be a good steward of the body i've been given* but, in my mind, that was a fairly trite thing for a 27 yr old woman to commit to (sorry if i'm stepping on anyone's toes, but that's a thing for me)* so i thought and i thought and i thought and i thought, and as the congregation was moving up the aisle to receive ashes, there was a moment of clarity*

for those of you who know me well, you know that i have issues with church* those of you who really, really, really know me well, you know that i've had issues since my senior year in college* it's been eating at me, and my attempts to get past that have been abortive* and in this moment of clarity this afternoon, it occurred to me that the problem lies in trust* while i haven't abandoned what i believe, i have found it extremely difficult to be comfortable in a worship setting* EXTREMELY difficult* it would become claustrophobic and overwhelming and very uncomfortable* since that thing in college, i have had trouble trusting other christians, being very wary of betrayal*

--please let me make a note: i'm not making a blanket statement that all christians are like this, either scared of each other or not trustworthy* i'm just recounting my personal experience and the realizations that i had this afternoon*

anyway, in mass, i thought about being a good friend for lent, really being concerned about those around me, breaking out of a shell and being a friend to people i just know casually, and so on and so forth* eventually, it dawned on me that i should transfer that to the worship setting* i should dispel my fears and give some trust back to the christian community* i'll admit that it won't be easy* but that is what lent is about* it doesn't really mean so much if you can make your change without even thinking* it should take perseverence and patience* i'll just take one baby step at a time*

oh wow--this is embarrassing

2007-02-21T21:18:00.000-04:00

with ~13 min to go in the 2nd half, boston college is losing to vtech 58-34*

wow*

CUTE!

2007-02-19T11:38:00.000-04:00