gotta love the South...

seen on a Bojangles carry-out bag: "Please put litter in its place."

You suck, Litter! Take that! YEAH! STAY DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!



anyway, my impromptu trip to raleigh this weekend was interesting. chris needed to run down there to get his car inspected, and we got off late enough that he only got to the garage half an hour before closing. we were optimistic; we'd made it the whole way down without any lights alerting us to WWIII going on under the hood, the ride being jerky, and the windows randomly sliding down into the door. these are major victories, considering the piece of shit that is the Jetta. anyway, he pulls into the garage, and THEN the check engine light goes on. thus, he fails the inspection. just to kick him while he's down, the mechanic tells him that the car is vomiting oil, such that it'll die within the day. oh, and no, he can't look at it today or tomorrow because, well, i don't really know. he just wouldn't.

sufficed to say, after putting $12K for repairs into a car that cost him $12K to begin with, chris has had it with this ridiculous German bucket of crap. thanks to several parties in raleigh, we were able to get the car in capable hands and lay hold of a rental so that we wouldn't be stranded. basically the whole ride home, there was cause to remark how comfortable a car could be, how functional, and how, well, adult. the amanti we got from avis felt decidedly more grown up than that VW money pit. once that thing is functional again, it's coming back to MD, just so that he can have the satisfaction of shooting it himself. well, not really. he's going to try to sell it, and since we're finally in touch with an honest repair person, it'll be in decent shape for a buyer.

so, this weekend was not quite so restful as we had hoped, and i had, in fact, come down with some bug and wanted to throw up the whole time. but, we leaned on each other, persevered in times of distress, and came out on top. we deserve to be taken to Bojangles for being a functional couple and given a bag full of the chicken fingers and biscuits.

but don't forget to put the litter in its place.

still stealing kwizzes from kim

1. Do you have any big plans for September? I'm not sure. Do I, Chris? October? Yes. November? I think. December? Not a clue.

2. What up-coming event are you most looking forward to? whatever it is that chris has cooked up

3. What was the last song you heard? "I Burn For You" (sting)

4. Quote something from last night: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." (me, at 9PM)

5. What time did you wake up today? 4:30 AM

6. What does your last incoming text say? something from steve, i think

7. Is there a vase in the room you are in? No. Nobody has bought me flowers since chris did awhile ago...

8. Any plans for today/this evening? eating and planning for school tomorrow.

9. Have you recently been insulted? No.

10. What is the radio in your car tuned to at this exact moment? 106.5FM

11. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel thatyou are more or less sexual than the average? More.

12. How many days a week do you work? a BAZILLION. but in reality, seven. we teachers take our work home with us.

13. Are there people you feel more connected to than others? Well yeah.

14. Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? definitely.

15. Are you more like your mother or your father? hmmm... sense of humor and faith, my dad. sense of intellect and arts, my mom.

16. Where did your eye color come from? Dad

17. Describe the pants you are wearing: no pants, but an Old Navy skirt, brown with khaki stripes, size 8?

18. Have you ever been in a recording studio? no

19. The myspace picture you've had up the longest, what's going on inthat picture? don't have myspace, but the longest one i've had onlinen is the pic of me in front of the bellagio in vegas.

20. Are any of your myspace pictures alcohol related? the one of me in front of the bellagio

21. What is your worst relationship quality? taking things Way Too Seriously

22. What was your most recent serious injury? whatever it was that made me pass out at the twilight trot--bad enough for me to be taken to shady grove hosp.

23. What were you most recently pissed-off about? pint-sized individuals

24. What song best describes your summer? runaway--the Corrs

25. Are you a fan of cake? yes, especially bts/foreplay cake.

26. What shirt have you not worn in a while that you would like to? chris's black and white Broughton Wrestling shirt

27. Do you spill a lot?Yes.

28. When was the last time you were hit on? by the slimy konick in adams morgan way way way long time ago. i love the guy, but he's a man whore.

29. What is the next concert you are going to and where are you seeingit? i'm not sure. it'll probably be one of ainsley's concerts in DC

30. Name someone you know who is most likely to be found at a bar onTuesday night: russdog222

javelin greatness, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

one of the best throwers in the world is retiring. this guy is a beast!

i'm going back to bed...

exams and big enginesnnnnn

first news:

CHRIS PASSED HIS ORAL EXAM!!! now he's officially a PhD candidate at UMD. several of the people involved, either panel or audience, are internationally renowned mathematicians, and they told him things along the lines of "fantastic/excellent job," "very well prepared," "well executed," etc. he presented his material for ~50 minutes, and then the panel asked him one question. ONE. and after short discussion, they passed him.

:)

other news:

not news, per se, but rather good feelings. teaching has been going well. i'm enjoying it, and even though the kids and i butt heads sometimes, we get along. we all seem to be learning one thing or another! in addition to my English and Literature classes, i get to teach an aviation class. how awesome is that?! hopefully, we can get into rocketry. and build rockets.

why do i get the feeling that that might not be my most brilliant idea?

anyway, the kids got to pick their enrichment class, and apparently my aviation section filled up pretty quickly. not bad for a lady that most of the kids don't even know! i'm hoping that we can go to the air & space museum annex at dulles airport. that would be the crowning event for the year. freakin awesome.

my favorite aircraft:
rotor wing--the UH-60 Blackhawk helicopter


fixed wing--the SR-71 Blackbird

i don't know other girls who have a favorite aircraft. would i be considered that much hotter then?

that would be cool....

:)

i'm sitting here eating an egg. i remember exactly where i was five years ago, how i found out and what i felt. my kids that i teach? the oldest were barely eight years old and don't remember much. sometimes i wish i was one of them. but i'm not.

i don't know what else to say about today.

i want more cake...

it's been a long summer that's turned into a long start to the school year. but, i'm fine.

recent excitement: getting side-swiped by ghetto-mobile in PG county friday night. like i said, i'm fine. it's just that my car is limping right now. that's what makes me sad. i<3>

good stuff: a) FOOTBALL!!!! the ravens AND the eagles won today. the planets must be aligned. b) TENNIS!!!! i'm watching the third set of the u.s. open men's final, with 4 games all. andy roddick is the rock star personality while roger federer is the deceptively cagey artist. and i do mean artist. i love andy's athleticism and raw strength, but federer has pin-point accuracy and can place the ball on a dime anywhere in the court. i would like for roddick to win, but whatever the result, it's still a very satisfying, riveting match. awesome.

nerves: chris has his oral exam coming up on wednesday, and he expects it to be brutal. i can't get there in time for it to start, and i hate that. i wish i could be there. but anyway, it starts out with a big presentation, followed by open Q&A (apparently, it doubles as a seminar) wherein other professors and graduate students can ask him ANYTHING. then, there's the private Q&A conducted with only his committee members. lastly, they finally kick him out of the room and decide whether to grant chris candidate status. personally, despite its inhumane degree of pressure, i deeply believe that chris will pass. he works SO hard. if you know him, you know what i'm talking about. anyway, send some good vibes on wednesday. i'm already proud of him.

:)

better than sex cake

the ladies have decided that, considering the nature of the male beast, it will now be called "foreplay cake." although, in the case of some gentlemen, it's "better than second base cake."

sorry, guys.

question: LADIES! are there times when you would rather have the aforementioned cake as opposed to its male substitute? is it worth it to have one of our headaches just to have the cake instead?

film at eleven...

two decent runs in a row?

go figure. i was feeling like crap all day, really noting the chunk that's been hanging on to me. the guys i know are like, "oh, shut up, you look fine," blah, blah, blah. and guys, trust me, i appreciate it. i don't disbelieve you. but, every woman will know what i mean when i say that there are fat days. and i've been having a fat month. my guess is that my up-and-down summer is catching up with me.

ANYWAY.

i went for a little run tonight, just doing another short out-and-back. i added only five minutes, to make it 25 total. the way i see it, it's better to do straightforward, mentally easy runs for now. that'll probably make it easier to get back into things. awesome.

so tired, and yet still antsy...

i finally ran again tonight. i'd been so nervous to go out again, thanks to this past summer--getting sick for an entire weekend following a run, passing out, almost passing out, being taken to the ER. i took it slow, went for only 20 minutes. i felt pretty good about it, and afterward i did a few little exercises here in the apartment. it's encouraging, so maybe i'll go again tomorrow. i'm not counting on the philly distance festival next month, but i'm hoping that i'll be okay for the october races, especially the army ten miler. i'll take little steps, but maybe eventually i'll get over my nervousness and be able to train regularly.

other than running, things have been really good. i start teaching at a little school in essex on monday, and i'm anxious to get going with 7th grade english. last night was parent night, and i think i rocked the house. even though it'll be a lot of Very Hard Work, it should also be awesome. wish me luck!

but now i have to go to bed on time. crap...

too bad we only get on at #20...

COME ON, GUYS! WE NEED TO UP OUR RANKING!!!!

kim, this one's for you.

this is getting ridiculous

so this past week was supposed to be the great relaxing beach vacation that i haven't had IN years. and, thank you, murphy's law, it wasn't.

set up: mom & dad got a fantastic little condo in OC for a week, and chris & i were going down for a few days. geoff & co. were going to be there for a few days too.

get down there. dad is already having major stomach issues and thus travels between his bedroom and bathroom. geoff & co. aren't coming down until the next day. but chris & i enjoy a beautiful walk on the beach. aww. next day. on the beach with chris. awesome. geoff & co. arrive, and the family dynamics kick in. put fairly behaviorally-conservative big brother and outspoken, offbeat boyfriend in close quarters for a few hours and blend. oil and water. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge tension. discomfort. tears on my part. WHY can't things gel as well i want? geoff all quietly, but obviously, perturbed, and chris uncomfortable. fantastic. me. IN TEARS. oh, and fyi-dad in the ER because of his gastro-intestinal problems.

FUCKING AWESOME.

however, that night: two-on-two with chris & me and geoff & mia. it's pretty obvious that the men are making an effort to not rock the boat and get to know each other and the women are helping with conversation segues and bump-smoothers. thankfully, it goes okay, and by the time chris & i leave for a night out, there's a subtle sigh of relief on both camps that things are pretty okay. apparently, i was the one that was the most uncomfortable and was perceiving more of a problem then there was.

next day: dad still in the ER but in okay condition, but he has some kind of rupture/etc. that has to be surgically repaired. poor dad. mom, the trooper, at the hospital with him. me in emotional crisis. brother and boyfriend adjusting. yick. but, all of us, sans mom & dad, get some beautiful beach time. we all vacate the condo after awhile. it seems that everything has been so up and down and may settle any way.

that night: i'm driving home, and chris & i get lost TWICE. stupid delaware. delaware sucks. oh. and i get a ticket. $110. stupid delaware. it takes FOUR AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME. we don't get back until 2AM.

this caps off the most emotionally roller-coaster-istic summer in my life. *parting* ways with a roommate, no job, finding a new place, doing a lot of the moving mostly myself, getting a job and finding out less than 10 minutes later that my grandpa had passed away, the most amazing relationship moment in my life, this vacation.

whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

right?

my grandpa, the badass.







donald richard beatty
21 november 1918 - 19 july 2006

LOTS of things

is it too early to hate the redskins?

i am so exhausted. the past five weeks have been brutal, and the proverbial emotional rollercoaster almost ran off the tracks. fyi-i hate cliches. anyway, i'm completely moved, although i still have boxes of crap in my living room. i have a full-time job now: say hello to Mt. Carmel Elem's newest English teacher. look out, 7th graders! that was a very strange morning.

OLMC Elem's principal called me at 8:30 to tell me i'd gotten the job. i was ecstatic, and i called my parents. my dad answers, and i know immediately that something's wrong. then he told me that my grandpa had died earlier that morning. it had to have been not too long before my call because otherwise he would have called me. so within the space of ten minutes, i had gone from jumping up and down to crumpled on the floor. it's so strange.

one thing that i'm grateful for is my upcoming trip to the beach. God knows that i need a serious vacation. He already knows what i need before i do and comes through in spades.

in that vein, i feel a need to break open a bottle of champagne. or, on my budget of $0, a bottle of arbor mist. i don't think i've felt this way in years, and i'm so excited. revelations and vulnerabilities are so hard to come by, and the moment another person lets you in, you realize that your world has been changing. we picture pivotal moments and fairy tale words, but nothing ever happens the way we rehearse it in our heads. that makes it so much better.

at the moment, any pollock painting is pretty representative of my life right now, and it probably won't make much more sense anytime soon. but that's okay.

he colors it beautiful.

i'm back! but not for long....

Survey Survey Survey

I am fortunate to have a survey to steal from Kim so that I have something to post after so long...

1.Where did you take your default pic? In front of the Belaggio (sp?) on my fabulous `04 trip to Vegas.
2.What exactly are you wearing right now? My khaki shorts and Chris's Florida shirt.
3.What is your current problem? I'm so tired.
4.What makes you most happy? Running and working out, sleep and hugs. And other stuff.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to? No music--I'm in the library. SHHHH!!!!
6.Any celeb you would marry? It'd be a tough act to follow Cheryl Crow, but hey--I think I could stand marrying Lance Armstrong.
7.Name someone with the same birthday as you? exactly--childhood friend Ben Smith. not exactly--chris. oh and steve handy. weird.
8.Ever sang in front of a large audience? Several times. I wasn't even booed off the stage!
9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? I've been compared to Jodie Foster, but I can't see it.
10.Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows? I think today's "kiddy" movies are more sophisticated than "kiddy" movies. So of course I do.
11.Do you speak any other languages? I know snippets of Spanish, French and Russian.
12.Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Grandma Hixson and, sadly quite recently, Grandpa Beatty
13.Do you ever watch MTV? Um... no.
14.What's something that really annoys you? Hearing other people's TV/stereo/etc. through my walls loud enough for me to repeat the words verbatim.

Chapter 1:
1.Middle name: Cates
2.Nickname(s): JoJo, Jo, Joey, Toots, Gimp
3. Location: Library
4.Eye color: *Oceany* Blue

Chapter 2:
1.Do you live with your parents: No! That's what the Kyle Boller Replacement Party is all about!!!
2.Do/Did you get along with your parent(s): Yes. We have our moments, but we're a tight knit bunch.
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced: married for almost 37 years. They're old. :)
4.Do you have any Siblings?: Older brother (almost 30)

Chapter 3:
1. Ice Cream: tin roof sundae
2.Season: spring/fall
3.Shampoo/conditioner: some overpriced salon brand that works so much absolute magic that i don't mind paying $11 per bottle

Chapter 4: Do You..
1. Dance in the shower? No, but I do dance naked around my apartment.
2.Write on your hand: If I absoLUTEly have to remember something, yes.
3.Call people back: Not my favorite thing to do if it's a business call.
4.Believe in love: I hadn't been in it in years, but yes, it's definitely real.
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed: just me--next to the vanity (closest to the door); not just me--furthest from the door.
6. Any bad habits: Laziness.

Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone: Yes--I had a hairline fracture in my ankle in Feb `05, thanks to the snow-covered pothole.
2.Sprained stuff: Really? If you knew me, you wouldn't have to asked. Of course I've sprained everything.
3.Had physical therapy?: Yes. If it hadn't been for Sports Medicine at UMBC, I'd resemble a bucket of bolts more than the goddess of sports and wisdom that I am today. HA!
4.Gotten stitches: Yes, when I had to have a tooth surgically removed.
5.Taken painkillers: YES. Don't remember what it was, but apparently, I made a lot of phone calls that I don't remember. Sorry, Chris. :)
6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: Snorkeling in Puerto Rico--one of the most amazing things I've ever done in my life. I'll have to wait until I actually have $$$ to go scuba diving!
7.Been stung by a bee: Yes. If it weren't for honey, I'd destroy them all. Bastards.
8. Thrown up at the Dentist? No.
9.Sworn in front of your parents: Yeah. Remarkably, sometimes they still think of me as their sweet little girl. I really have them fooled. Jk.
10.Had detention: No.
11.Been sent to the principal's office: Yes, but only to be told that I was being torn asunder from my dearly held circle of friends and transferred to the classroom across the commons area--the "honors" class. Stupid first grade cursed me for life.
12.Been called an idiot: yeah, but these days, people don't even need to say anything. All they have to do is look and laugh. And then I punch them.

stoop, lift, move, drop, run, puke

essentially, that was my past 24 hours. i'm 80% moved into my new apartment, with various and sundry miscellany to pack and cart over and my new big girl bed (long story) still waiting to come from pennsylvania. on thursday, i did a LOT of packing and moving by myself. and then i ran with kim. not too bad. running with kim is always good, and even though i was dog tired, it felt really good. day 1 down. yesterday, my parents came down, and we dismantled the little girl bed that my brother is taking for clara in their new house. we also packed a buttload more of stuff into their minivan, on top of the bed and mattresses, and into my car. luckily, by virtue of the bed going up to PA, we (meaning I) didn't have to haul that thing out of the van.

but, there was still some hauling. then i drive down to cpark to pick up chris, come back to baltimore and pack some more. but this time, i pick up a van from Enterprise. we pick you up, my ass... anyway, the whole point of the van was to accomodate the smaller amount of shit and pay about half as much as i would for even the littlest truck. so chris and i haul my big pieces and some other crap into the van (although he'll tell you he did most of the work--don't believe him). by the time we're heading over to my new place, we're damn hungry, so we stop at a Friday's. Big Mistake.

at this point, we don't care what we put in our mouths, and we both order burgers. me, i've been able to handle burgers lately, although i don't eat them often at all. but, this was not to be. anyway, same night, we put some of my crap in the apartment and basically hit the wall, unable to follow through on our ambition to go back and get load #2. so at midnight, i'm contemplating if i *really* want to run the dreaded dru hills--that meant i'd have to get up at 5:50AM to get ready and head over to the park. but then, i think that it's a major pride issue to say, "i've conquered the dru hills," and the shirt that the women get is always a collectors item. so i say, "i'll set my phone's alarm, and see how i feel when i wake up."

of course i couldn't sleep at ALL. that's what happens when a little baby twin air mattress just can't cut it. not that i don't appreciate it, but it's just not a real bed, and after two draining days, its best efforts couldn't do it. but i get up, and i have this obscene burst of energy and perkiness and am bouncing at the door. meanwhile chris is practically snarling at me for dragging his ass along because of car/van-pooling logistics. anyway, i get to dru hill park, i'm pumped, i run this bastard 10K very intelligently, i feel really good and am not even winded after i sprint to the finish, and chris and i go get the van and my car and head back to the apt.

it wasn't on the smooth highways that i started to feel pukey--oh no. it was on the bumps and potholes of reisterstown road. i felt Every Single One. this beautifully delicious cheeseburger from last night started to show its mr. jekyl head, and upon reaching the apartment, i had to sprint inside so as not to puke everywhere in the parking lot. ewwwwwwwww. problem: there was still heavy stuff in the van to move in. i was able to help here and there, but i spent most of my time illin' while chris was bringing the rest of the furniture in. i still feel guilty for that. but shhh. don't tell him.

so, i've been feeling like junk all afternoon and evening, but it's getting better. my guy takes really good care of me, and there are too many high points to be upset about the pukey burger, the rest of which i'm going to eat once i get back to my place.



the dru hills must have done some weird stuff to my head...

tennis's grand waste of time

ok, so i know i'll catch hell from male readers, but i have to fully explain my distaste for miss kournikova. put on your feminist listening caps:

saying that anna made it pretty well as a teenager but had to use her looks to "make it" is actually my point. it's a disservice to all the other women on the tour--unless they're destroying the competition a la martina navritalova (sp?) in her day, the women don't get noticed unless they can be marketed as a sexpot. and i dislike kournikova because she purposely did exactly that--why should lindsey davenport or kim kjlisters (sp?) have to pose provocatively to earn the praise they deserve? oh wait, they don't--they're actually good at what they do. you don't see the gratuitous use of tennis for reasons other than competing with maria sharipova, martina hingis, or the men for that matter--andy roddick, while pretty yummy, puts it all out on the court and earns his keep *there*, not in photo shoots and pretending to be something he's not.

it's one thing to pursue a modeling career of sorts. it's another to pursue it while saying that you're a great athlete when you're truly not. she was using her initial fame in tennis as a springboard to more of a celebutante life, all the while claiming that she was a great player. so gratuitously dragging the sport along with you, just to boost your cred, pisses me off, especially when, as has been said, the other "non-lookers" have to work their butt off for any recognition. the way she conducted her path distorts what sport is about.

oh, and she's not terribly brilliant either. she's now a fitness columnist for elle (i think it's elle, anyway), and i'm sure that the editors vomit every time she submits a piece. her snippets on workouts and the healthy, sporting lifestyle are written at a middle school level and don't provide any insight into anything. her title at the magazine should be Captain Obvious.


thus ends my dissertation on my distaste for miss kournikova. next time i'll discuss something that's not so ridiculously... ridiculous.

favorites

today we'll talk about athletes.

soccer: whole portuguese men's team. i absolutely canNOT wait for the match vs. england. they're once again the underdog, but i hope they pull off an upset like the 2000 Euro Cup. that would be AWESOME. they definitely have it in them, especially after withstanding the ridiculous brutality of their previous game.

tennis: andy roddick. while he's had a rough patch lately and isn't quite the golden boy of tennis anymore, he still has a wicked serve and the tenacity to make it in spite of the increasing depth of the field of competition.

track & field: christina hattestadt and stacy dragila. hattestadt is a norwegian javelin thrower who once held some damn good world records. i like her a lot because she took time off to become a mom and then came roaring back in competition, despite the track world's skepticism about her ability to return to form. stacy dragila is just awesome. she was really a force in bringing women's pole vault to the fore of international competition, and the way she nursed a friendly rivalry with the few other women in the event really brought attention to the sport. plus, a record-holding pole-vaulter friend of mine met her and said that dragila is a really down-to-earth, fun person. the sports world needs more athletes like that.

miscellaneous: lance armstrong. duh. jackie joyner-kersee. the retired track star is the epitome of all-around star athlete.

ooops, gtg!

Book'em, Danno!

my finger had a run-in with the kitchen knife

my finger didn't win.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand toby's totally sacked out. YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!

poor little guy is completely out on his pillow, all curled up with his new squeaky toy.

so this day has been a very good one. got back with the pacemakers today for a run through dru hill park, and hanging w/ them has made me realize how much i miss those long grueling runs. my main reason for getting out there was my detemination to do the dreaded druid hills 10K, one of the most, well, dreaded races of the year. it's basically an out & back, with the middle 4 miles pounding you into the ground, and since the pacemakers were hoofing it this morning, i figured it'd be a good idea to familiarize myself with how terrible these six/seven hills actually are.

i'm really glad that i did. it's not that the hills are impossible or that i was dying halfway through, but now i know exactly how i'm going to run the 10K--i'm going to run smart. thank goodness for cutting my teeth on hills in middle school and high school xc & track. anyway, this is definitely a race that calls for conservative running and an iron will. i'm very pleased with the run this morning, as i definitely ran very prudently. i cut short because i had a lot of stuff to do, so i ended up doing ~5.3 miles in ~55 minutes. i'm satisfied.

i'll have to blab about the World Cup! of Beer! tomorrow. i'm pooped. but mad props to the U.S. for holding off italy, especially with a man down. that equalizing goal (own-goal by the italian defender) was AWESOME!


gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lazy

interesting: "• Australian scientists in January said that they had identified a gene that causes bipolar disorder in about 10 percent of those with the condition."

very interesting....

anyway, tonight has been very lazy, mostly because i've been absolutely exhausted all week. so what am i going to do? wake up early tomorrow morning and do a long, hilly run with the pacemakers. :) because of that and my unintentional 7 miler yesterday, i just went easy tonight with toby. we just did our easy 2 mile loop in the park, this time at 730PM, to keep toby from overheating. it was nice.

and now it's bedtime.

:)

this is how 5 miles turns into 7.5....

first, take the stress of major job and household fluctuations. add to that some fantastic, wicked fast mood swings. fold in the desperate needs to exercise and get out of the house. bake in the hot sun for over an hour, and you get a brain that gets so wrapped up in its own little calculations and problem-solving scenarios that it forgets that taking that one road takes you for an extra 2+ miles. oops.

honestly though, since i've been more thoughtful about how i train, my runs have improved quite a lot. i am very deliberate about my pace and heart rate. i still refuse to buy one of the polar monitors, but i do know what my specific target heart rates are, and i'm doing a pretty good job of staying in the appropriate range. it's amazing what a little capitulation to a little common sense can do for your health. hehehe.

so, happily, i did the charles-northern-roland loop, with some side streets thrown in. took it easy and was out there fore ~75 min. so, that was awesome. we'll see if i join up with the pacemakers on saturday for the dru hill run..... don't know if i want to tackle those hills yet. i haven't gotten my crazy cap on just yet. :)

i feel pretty good, considering.

Custom Fitness Concepts

Hi, everyone. I just thought that I'd let you know that I am now a trainer with Custom Fitness Concepts, and the company is working to expand in the Baltimore metro. We offer outdoor conditioning, small group fitness, and personal training, among other things, and we partner with several health professionals to round out our well-being programs. Most importantly, we come to the customer, instead of the customer having to travel to us.

For further information, please refer to our website (see the link above) or call 877-598-0530.

I'd love to help you meet your fitness goals!

oh. my. lord.

some mgt. company is trying just a little too hard to rent their apt. units:


"Washer & Dryer in Every Home...Swimming Pool & Sunning Area...Located In Prestigious Catonsville..."

running over a new leaf

so this past weekend, i got trained. to be a trainer. more on that later. but back to running. with everything i learned this weekend, i've been thinking a lot about my runs and workouts. i've decided to modify my methods because i need to address some medical issues, and i haven't been seeing the appearance and performance results that i've wanted to.

as far as the medical issues go, i've had some flare-ups with bipolar disorder, and it's affected my training. as in i didn't train. what usually happens is that i have a TERRIBLE day and then i crawl under the covers. OR, if i try to run, i get overly worked up and either go too fast or just quit. so. remedy: start out with the idea of only going 10 minutes and go slowly. by and large, by the time i've reached the 10 minute, i've relaxed and keep going.

for appearance and performance results, i had to make a major mental shift. i've never really paid attention to target heart rates and fat burning vs. cardio zones; i should have, especially with the way my breathing has been lately. fat burning zones help people lose more weight because, since you're running slower to stay within a specific range, you can run longer than you can in the cardio and anaerobic zones. this, in turn, helps build my endurance for the races i've planned this summer.

so all in all, i did ~50 minutes, with a stop at rite aid toward the end to pick up my Rx. i went up the trail and down roland, and i tried to keep my HR in the fat burning zone. i felt pretty good afterward, and hopefully i'll keep this habit up.

excellent.n

a cat with balls

yeah, that basically says it.

i stood barefoot in the middle of a city stream. ewwww. but it felt great. my shins are in revolt, and the rush of cold water felt a-ma-zing. anybody who has suffered the splint of shins can literally feel my pain at the description. anyway, it felt really good, and i think i did well by trying to stay off concrete and asphalt as much as possible. of course, that mostly means that i'm running the same trail through the park All The Time, but i haven't tired of the lush canopy and green air. i don't know how else to describe it... i cut my teeth running trails up in PA, so this little path is a great respite.

anyway, i did ~4 miles today, making sure to take it easy and not manage to hurt myself. i really should be keeping better track of my runs. saturday, i ran about five (doing about half on the trail again), and that hurt because when i wandered back up to roland, the grade was steeper than i was ready for. ouch. sunday, i knew that i needed to mix it up, so i did a brief warm-up on the trail (~1.5 miles) and then did 6 hills on a branch of the trail. that felt really good, again with a very controlled but concentrated pace. afterward, i sat on a rock in the middle of the stream, and then i ran home. all in all, i must have done ~2.5 miles. awesome. tomorrow, i plan on 4 miles (2 loops) at umbc. thursday is the great run with kim, and then friday will be either 2.5 or 5 miles at centennial park. depends on how many loops i want to do.

and i'm still uncertain about the philly marathon. i have all of my other races selected, and i just can't decide if i want to add the marathon. i don't know...

calling, opportunity & resources

my sister-in-law has this uncanny ability to give eerily insightful advice when i am in most need...

for the past month or so, i'd been debating as to whether or not i should pack up and leave baltimore, mostly due to job frustrations (no potential employers care if you're an expert on Beowulf...). it was tough because there were dis/advantages to staying and leaving, so i called maria to talk to her about it. her advice, as given to her by a close friend: you know it's time to move when God provides the calling, the opportunity and the resources. that was a few weeks ago. and there was nothing.

one day, on the way home from my temp job, i was saying to myself, well, i'm just going to give up on this one job possibility around DC because the guy just doesn't seem interested in hiring. that night, i got an email from him, saying that he really wants to meet me. that has since evolved into me attending employee training next weekend and being contracted for at least some part time work, at something i really want to do.

so, that's great. but what about a place? yesterday, i was talking to a coworker about my situation, and he said that he & his fiancee need somebody to sublet their place so they don't have to buy out their lease. i'm not necessarily going to take it, but it's amazing that a place just popped up so suddenly.

this job? running coach & personal trainer, something that i know i'd be very good at and love thoroughly. this apartment? closer to DC, chris and some friends. and the timing? unbelievable.

this isn't all to say that this process has been easy. far from it. but i think it might be time to pack my bags and head south...

X-poll

for those who've seen X3--

thumbs up? thumbs down? ambivalent flat hand? comments on the handling of the phoenix character? (apparently that's something that graphic novel enthusiasts are debating to some great degree...)


fyi- i love her hair. somebody get mine to turn all fiery red like that. would i be able to pull off that color? that would be excellent.

beautiful weekend

short version: weekend in PA with chris at the rents' house, visiting said rents and a google of relatives and neighbors. VA 5K did not go well (damn the fact that we actually need our lungs...) but the fun run made up for it with Toby's PR of 8:57. rock on! sadness because the rents' pool looked about as welcome as the swamp thing's abode (thanks to the pool dudes dragging their feet to come fix the pump...), so no awesome swimming. in my cute little two piece. damn. watched X3, was neither vomitously repulsed or terrifically impressed--just enjoyed it as pulp entertainment.

returned to MD and watched seasons 1 & 2 of X-Men cartoon on my laptop. chris & i considered phoenix & wolverine for halloween 2006, except that i'd rather not ******** (not giving away the movie's ending! haHA!). next idea is gambit and rogue, from the cartoon. cartoon rogue, fyi, is far better than anna paquin's silly attempt. anyway, it's an idea. went to bed very late, slept in very late, and essentially laid around until 5 or so when chris and i went to the gym. pumped iron, then ate the most fattening sub i could get at quiznos. awesome. so all is well, and i enjoyed the decidedly warmer weather, despite the lack of swim.

now back to my cube at work. *sigh*

gross

but STILL not as big as the city rats...

runs and rebukes

so sunday was face-plant city, and yesterday was easy day with the tobster. today was all about solitude, and i did an easy 5 miler, my regular out & back on roland, easily my favorite route in the city. was out for all of ~47 min in very comfortable spring weather, and the time to myself was exactly what my body needed.

and then my spirit gets a strong talking to. i have not been honest and genuine with some people, and relationships have noticeably suffered, although we're all too nice to complain to each other. we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. but, in the attempt to avoid any bloodshed, we get caught up in merely pretending with niceties. thanks to the counsel of a very astute phd student, i've realized what i need to do.

i need to pull my head out of my butt and have a true relationship. do we consider the other person's needs? do we consider other P.O.V.s? do we ask what we could do for them? do we treat them as well when we're not pleased as we do when we are?

so, if you're the person who knows that this is about you, i promise that i'm going to work harder. you, i AND our friendship deserve the best.

riddle me this

so, how exactly does God work? i think He has a sense of humor when opening our eyes to Him, you know? since april, i've been doing the drudgery that is job searching, and this whole time, i'm thinking, "WHERE THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE, GOD?? HMMMM???

and God must have a direct line to my mom, who always says that things happen when we least expect them. just this morning i was giving up on the job opportunity with the fitness company, and i randomly (yeah, not so random, probably) get an email from the president inviting me to the employee training sessions. !!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously?!

so here comes the hard part.

how do i handle the logistics? i have to get some information from tom, like how many classes/sessions i'd be leading (relating to paycheck), where he most needs me to work, etc. then, based on that, i have to figure out--how do i leave the job i'm at? do i leave before the training, giving them the time to fill my position but leaving me bereft of $$$ for a little? do i wait until afterward and wrap things up quickly, thereby kind of giving them the shaft but still earning myself a little bit of dough before i go?

and do i move? that's based on where and how often tom needs me to teach. i was talking to meawad (a favorite person!!!), and he said that i should think about what i would regret the most--staying in baltimore or uprooting and heading to DC. i'm already feeling that baltimore is getting stale...

but i think the best direction i've ever gotten comes from my sister-in-law maria, who in turn got it from a former pastor of hers:

--you know it's time to move when God provides a calling, an opportunity, and the resources.




i see something exciting unfolding here...

those silly little continentals

read this and then laugh.

2:1

yay, i have new running buddies. excellent! i'll be meeting kim & the other fleet feet runners on thursdays at 6:30. it's so relaxing to do Galloway method. while that won't be my primary mode, it's really nice to shake things out a bit and just enjoy the company. this has also kicked me into my training phase too--i have my shoes (YAY!) and have some good races on the calendar, and hopefully my work schedule will iron out too. i hope...

my room is a disaster. clothes, however clean they may be, are in piles on my floor. oh well.

i am so hyper. and, considering some of my behavior today, probably a little manic. i hate that. i can't relax and focus. i won't be able to sleep either. dammit.

CLARA'S ON THE RUNWAY!!!!

or crawl-way, as the case may be.

i just checked out mia's blog a second ago and read that bebe clara was requested to pose for a line of baptism fashion. clara is the littlest baby of the two and appears in the slideshow above "retailers only."

*awwwwww*




:)

have you ever met a dancing nancy?

neither have i.

i'm feeling rather beat up lately. nothing is horribly wrong; life is just happening, that's all, and i think we're all allowed to feel shitty every now and then.

what puts a smile on my face is my spreading popularity in MATH4202. more specifically, my popularity as an accomplice in the harrassment of chris on his turf (his very office!) is simply blooming! exponentially! excellent.

but seriously. chris really does make me smile. and hey--a party for him--> he's finished his master's thesis and will be getting his degree shortly!!!! after this, no more TA-ing. he's a research assistant who'll begin working on his dissertation. which means i'll see him for two hours on a bi-monthly basis. just kidding. but sort of not. but sort of.

anyway, amidst all of the hard work he's doing, he's just been ____ (adj.) and has ____ (past tense verb) my ____ (noun) so ____ (superlative), and that just makes me ____ (adj.).





*mad libs can be a very bad thing.*

new pix! new pix! new pix!

i'm so generous for availing these pix of my lovely niece and nephews. you're welcome.

:)


goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!!





geoff & nici storm the castle gates...

via a cargo net...

at the kiddie museum...








baby girl clara has a bit of a fever, but that doesn't stop her from being absolutely adorable.

:)




nici and manny are born engineers.












squirting ketchup is a very serious affair.









much more poignant than rodin's thinker...












such is my family.
excellent.

i'll take whips and chains for $200, alex

maybe there's a discount for bringing your own handcuffs...

this is light-years away for me, but...

it might pay to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.

back on my feet and off my back

numerous things to report:

first, vanishing scent ben gay is beautiful. though still sore, i'm up like an elevator and all about doing my thing.

second, the ambush was a riotous success. and i say riotous because MATH4202 will have spent all day harrassing chris, saying "chris & jojo, sittin in a tree..." and everyone will be crying with laughter. i'm not kidding. anyway, the cookies were loved by all, and chris loved the fresh asparagus. also, i am apparently well-loved by chris's fellow nerds; i am grateful that the numerically inclined will so generously allow a woman of letters into their fold. i get to be a nerd too! YAY! so, to all you haters named steve handy, HA-HA! you owe me a movie of my choosing. and shoot me if i choose rob roy....

third, i have a new job today. once again, it's a temp position, but at this point, work is work (e.g., a paycheck is a paycheck). i'm starting out as a computer person for Classic Photography in ellicott city, and i spent all day itemizating, touching up and saving kids' team pictures. so, not bad, right? BUT OH-HO! one of the co-owners asked me if i want to go on some shoots and learn how to do it all so that i can do it on my own at some point. ARE YOU KIDDING?! i have missed photography ever since i changed majors at umbc. that was foolish of me. i had far too little patience for the science, and i got angry at those who tried to foist their artistic sensibilities on me. and i let that stop me. but now, i have a chance to start again! and you know the funny thing? my sophomore year, i was setting goals for my future... and i still loved photography, and i was discovering my passion for literature... and i remember very distinctly writing down that i would one day do photography AND have a PhD in English...


oh, and i'll be working the world cheerleading championships this weekend. i hope they have the girls from Turin. then it'll be a *real* competition!

on my back all day

not fun. yesterday was rough. i think i pulled a fair amount of back muscles (probably around my lats...) in the morning, and it isn't until you've f***** up your back that you realize how much you use it. it was painful to sit and stand. even when i was lying around and doped up on advil (well, as much as a girl can be), the pain didn't go away. barf. BUT, i decided last night that i would be okay today because i didn't want to be bored to tears. plus i had cool stuff i wanted to do. so, this morning, i was still tight and sore, but i willed my body to cooperate. and i'm glad i did. moving around has helped some, and i am really grateful not being bored to tears. yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!


thanks to my iron will and constitution, i have gone to rite aid and superfresh and am now baking cookies. hopefully my strength will hold up (with assistance from smelly bengay) so that i can ambush somebody later this afternoon. awesome.

family circus

i love beth, my cousin's fiancee. but the bridal shower yesterday was a *BIT* much. actually, i'm in too much pain (seriously) to go off about it, but i do have this to say; if/when i get married, it won't be such a freakin production.



i've been on my back all day. it *SUCKS*. i pulled a whole boatload of muscles in my back, and it hurts to sit or stand. so i've basically spent the past twelve hours lying down. *aside--big shout-out to my girl Kate for bringing up dvds and pizza so that i wouldn't have to torture myself by moving. I LOVE YOU, GIRL!!! anyway. i've been lying down, using a heating pad and doping up on advil like a madwoman. according to my medicallly knowledgeable friends, that's pretty much the only thing i can do. that *SUCKS*. i don't take being sick or injured very well.

get your joke in....

i don't take injuries lying down!

bastard.

anyway, i had some awesome plans for tomorrow, and unless the tylenol PM kicks in and does right by me by restoring my iron constitution, then i'm screwed. d'oh.

okay, the shooting pain is really getting to be a little much. i'm going to bed. or, well, just staying in bed...

dammit.

mission impossible... to watch

lucky me. i didn't have to pay to see a sucky movie.

a (soon-to-be former) coworker gave me two free passes to see a pre-screening of MI3, so court and i went. i probably wouldn't have gone once it came out, but if the price is right (e.g., $0), then i'm game. i tried to go with an open mind too; i may be nauseated by tom cruise's antics (to put it mildly) by now, but hey--every film deserves a fair shake, right?

yeah, not so much. the best performance in the cast was given, no surprise here, by Philip Seymour Hoffman. *insert applause here.* the rest of the cast was pretty okay, except that laurence fishburn has not aged gracefully. ouch. oh and jonathyn rhyss-meyers? :) anyway, there was lots of blowing up and shooting and and jumping over/off of ridiculous gaping holes or treacherously high buildings. oh and there was the helicopter dogfight.

&*!&amp;amp;@^#!)*&@#^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as the daughter of a helicopter pilot, it was particularly hard for me to suspend my disbelief on that one, especially since it focused on the good guy huey (the kind my dad flew for over 20 years) and the bad guy apache (armed to the teeth, and actually my dad knows how to fly its cousin, the cobra). three things: first, a huey canNOT pitch and roll like that at the portrayed speeds and stay airborne. it's plain physics. second (and related), flying through the windmill blades is just plain stupid because, again, hueys do not have the kind of speed to make that kind of timing and maneuvering. last, in real life, an apache would DESTROY a huey. every daughter of a pilot knows this. the huey is outmatched by the apache in basically every respect--maneuverability, speed, and firepower. the huey is made heavier by more people aboard (although it was flying with its doors off--smart! no, that really is done. that was a good touch.), and the apache would *almost* be equalized by adding a butt-load of fire power, way more than the "one missle left!" shouted by the really hot pilot/jonathan rhyss-meyers. the apache didn't use its machine guns which could have ripped the fuselage apart and thus downed the huey in no time flat. or, it could have used its various weapons to take out the tail rotor, again sending our hero(s) to meet his/their doom. to a girl raised in the aviation world, this was simply unacceptable.

oh, and as far as the hero(s) part, i get the idea that there is a definitely protagonist with his scooby gang. no biggie. it's been done. what i do object to is the fact that this was a tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise movie. i guess that's what you can do when you star in the same movie that you're co-producing. in nearly every scene, our *hero* is either running, jumping or having his eyeballs pop out of their sockets. our *hero* ethan hunt turns into tom cruise, and sadly, MI3 simply becomes another tom cruise vehicle. barf.

oh and fyi--this plot has been done before. spy tries to quit super secret life of saving the world, family/friend/lover gets kidnapped by bad guy/evil organization, he has to help said villains in order to rescue said villains even though everybody KNOWS that said villains are planning to kill everybody anyway, but he still manages to rescue said loved ones, and he eventually triumphs through spectacular feats of daring-do. BORING. try coming up with something intellectually inviting next time. not that i was expecting that, but still.


this message will self-destruct in five seconds.

omelette, part 2

semi-feeling better. well, not really, but oh well.

anyway, i was reading maria's blog and found a lot about clara. i miss that baby girl. according to my brother, she and i "worked" when she was with me. go figure. i wonder how big she is now and how much she gurgles and crawls. granted, i saw her less than a month ago, but still. i really wish i could see her more often.

and tasha,

it's STILL NOT FUNNY.


things are going pretty well, except for the fact that i will be JOBLESS come saturday. well, not entirely true, since i'm tutoring again. but you know what i mean. oh well. i've got a few nibbles out there. i'm going to throw some more lines out, and hopefully i'll get something. despite all of my bitching about moving yesterday, it would be fun to be living nearer chris.

oops. gotta go. again. but not to throw up.

do you know the omelette man

today is 'thank you, administrative assistants' day. or something like that. our firm was going to throw a nice breakfast, complete with an omelette man. dude didn't show. people are cranky because they were depending on this for their breakfast. especially since a bunch are signed up to give blood. damn the omelette man.

last time i donated blood, i felt okay, if not a little woozy. it took twenty minutes to give just one unit, so maybe my body was pacing itself. this time, WHAM BANG, just five minutes. and that sucks. i feel completely nauseated. after describing it to a coworker, she said that it sounded like morning sickness.

NOT FUNNY, TASHA.

actually, i read my sister-in-law's blog today, and it made me miss my niece. ... brb... i have to go throw up... :(

job hunting. again. and maybe moving too.

:(

i am so damn sick of this. but that's what happens when you're a pure literature scholar who hasn't gotten her teaching certificate. and to complicate matters, 99% of the nibbles i've had so far are in the metro dc area. so if any of those panned out, i'd have to move. again. barf. don't get me wrong. i love dc, i love a lot of the job possibilities, etc., etc. but the job hunting can be so depressing, and moving can be such a bitch. chris is no help either. he's hyped up because if i move, then we'd be nearer each other. "yay!!!" he says. i say "yay!!!" too because it would be mad convenient and 10x the fun, but i'm not going to move just for a guy. sorry, babe. in the meantime, before i know for sure where i'll be next year, i'm going to try and wait tables or something like that. i know that's not easy, and the pay is small, but it's a job. and job = paycheck. so whatever.

other than that, sunday and monday were blah-de-blah blah blah. saturday was AWESOME. chris and i went to adams morgan with two of his close friends from raleigh and some other friends from school. i wish everybody could meet konicki. except for my female friends. he's a great guy, but he's also a slut. he knows and freely admits this. anyway, konicki always knows where and when to go to find the most fun, and we ended up at this place called millie and al's. to tell you the truth, i have to learn to loosen up. i danced some but for some reason was pretty self-conscious. i haven't been that way in a LONG time. perhaps i was very aware of konicki and some other guys trying to get a free peek under my top. yeah. not going to happen. at all. ever. even if i'm a little ripped. which i don't do. because i get sick. especially after car bombs. much to my chagrin.

i've always been a little tightly wound, and i think in the past year or two, i've relaxed a lot. i still have a little ways to go, but i'm FAR more comfortable with myself than i used to be. it helps to have gone for some substantial achievements and sometimes succeeded. awesome. one of the things that i really enjoy about chris is how comfortable he and i are with each other. i think we see and get excited about each other's ambitions, and understanding what the goals are really helps us to be supportive of the other. it's not to say that my confidence is improved just because the two of us are dating, but it's been really nice to have him standing behind me. maybe moving closer to him will be even better than i think. YAY!!!


oh, and look up matt konicki (umd math) on ratemyprofessor.com. you'll see what i mean by slut.

today's news

http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/060419_brain_wiring.html

WHEW!!!!!! now that we know this, the battle of the sexes can finally come to an end!!!




and in other news, lance armstrong is going to take on a beast of the running world: the marathon.

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/news/story?id=2414546

are we particularly surprised? no, this running junkie isn't. we all knew that he wouldn't be able to give up some form of highly demanding athletic competition for long. he even says it himself--retiring from cycling left a void in his life. i'm not looking for him to be a major competitor though, not unless he starts an incredibly rigorous training program and has a few races under his belt. even then, he'll have to deal with the likes of today's powerhouse nations--kenya, ethiopia, russia, and sometimes china and japan.

i'll give him the fact that he's already beaten his body into submission through his unprecedented success in cycling. but, i would have to say that, although i know very little about training regimens for cycling, it has to be different in some key ways. first, with running, you have no opportunity to coast. even downhills can be a bitch because you either have to consciously control your stride, or you have to let your body go and deal with some wicked turnover speed in order not to go head over toe and die. second, drafting strategy is very different and much more individual. while the frontrunners generally shift and allow somebody else to take the headwind, there is no team-based unity, and the best runners will break away at any time, without having had the fortune of teammates allowing him or her to do less work via drafting. third, body type is quite different. lance certainly has to have something like 0.5% body fat, but his most powerful muscles are in a very different place: his legs. it seems counterintuitive to say that a runner's most powerful muscles are not in his or her legs, but it is also true that a runner's build has to be very balanced. i'm wondering how lance will do, having been so used to using his arms for stability and aerodynamics as opposed to sustaining and propelling the body forward.

i have no doubt at all that he has the endurance necessary to do well; the man won a 2000+ mile race seven years straight, for pete's sake. but how long will it take for his body to transition from the biomechanics of cycling to those of running? how quickly can he retrain muscle memory? people might say that it's silly, the idea that running and cycling can be mutually exclusive. i'm not saying that they are. but i do posit that, as he's been training for extreme long distance on a bike for a very long time, it will be a significant physiological adjustment for him to be a competitive marathoner. he says he hasn't decided if that will be his future, but i am convinced that the man is addicted to sport, to competitive sport, and he won't be able to trot amidst the crowd for very long.

i'm certainly not disparaging the man's ability. lord no. he is my favorite athlete. and to be honest, have you SEEN him?! yum. but seriously, i'm excited about his new goal. it's great to see everyone reaching for something that has the capacity to improve his or her life. and if lance does for marathoning (and distance running in general) what he did for cycling, perhaps my sport will gain more appreciation in the u.s.

that can only be a good thing.

minor miscalculation

okay, so i thought that waiting until 6:45 was good enough to go running with the tobster. apparently not. it wasn't blazing hot, but it was very humid, and i felt bad for the little dude. he's wearing a fur coat that he can't take off, afterall. so, the run was all about him. i made sure that we ran 99.9% on the grass and trails, and we also stayed in the shade as much as possible. i also made him run slower than usual, and if he felt like slowing down or stopping, then we did. we did 1.75 miles or so, which was nice. then i let him take a long dip in the stream, which he loved, of course. there weren't that many other doggies there, but he had a great time jumping and splashing in the water. i contemplated joining him, but i was wearing a white shirt and white sports bra. draw your own conclusions. overall this was a relaxing little run. yay!

toby's going to be the fastest dog at the VA fun run. excellent.

dj question of the day

what is the farthest distance you've ever traveled for a date?

the morning show tidbit was about a young woman who had been introduced to a guy and, after that one meeting, flew to tokyo for their first date.

i had to think about this one, and at first i considered pensacola, fla to be my answer. but then i thought, "no, i'd already been dating the guy for about two years," so that didn't count. then it hit me. the farthest i'd traveled was from lebanon to philly. granted, that's only a two hour drive, but it was pretty damn interesting.

i met steve (the bastard, not the handy) at the end of my senior year at the state quiz bowl competition. because both of our teams had lost at the hands of my bitter rivals, there was much cause for commiseration. so steve and i talked quite a bit. later, both cedar crest and wc east were invited to nationals, and we relished watching manheim township get destroyed by some ridiculous team from california. much celebration ensued, and, as i'd been eyeing (sp?) steve that whole weekend, i now had an excuse to exchange email addresses. what better reason to get someone's digits than the utter crushing of a mutual enemy. (notice the drama inherent to quiz bowl...)

so the two of us chatted a lot, yada yada yada, emailing almost everyday over the course of the summer. we talked about everything, and conversation seemed to be getting a little more ... interesting. he came to hershey for a golf tournament, and we met for lunch. pretty fun. finally, in august, he invited me to glen mills, located very closely to my grandparents' house. SCORE! a night of ice cream and putt putt--it couldn't have been better. the two hour drive was seeming more and more worth it.

he took me back to my grandparents's house, and we sat on the porch. sun had just set, crickets chirping...very romantic. talking, talking, talking, and then out of nowhere, he asks, "where would you like 'this' to go?" gulp. i couldn't say anything. i was way too nervous because i really liked this guy. so after some silence, he said, "well, i'm glad we can be friends because i have to tell you about my fabulous girlfriend Ali."

the night went downhill from there. i kept it together, but it was really disingenuous of him to lead me on and then drop a huge bomb like that. surprisingly enough (or not), when Ali discovered his daily emails to me a few months later, she dumped him. And a few months after that, he professed his love for me, and i fell for it, and we ended up dating for about a year. and that was interesting.

so the 2 hour drive for a date was a total bust. that was the LAST time i ever did that.

now i'll just ride to raleigh and new jersey and meet a passel of family all at once. tell me that that's much smarter...

getting there... sorta...

since my hours have been cut in half at work (*sigh*), i have more time to get back into running. i just hope that i remember all of the different loops, out and backs and point to points that i did all the time last year.

today was a nice, rambling route. i took roland up to wyndhurst and found the head of the trail. i took the trail all the way down to remington and turned around and came back all the way up to the doggy park. i came back up to the higher end of the park, went over to 36th, and ran to elm. that was ~50 minutes, more than 5 miles.

i made myself start out slow again because i'm really trying to keep myself from getting injured. the precautions were good because i was having a little bit of trouble with the heat and humidity. it's a good thing i'm getting out now. it'll help acclimatize me in time for baltimore's summers from hell. it was smart to get onto the trail for two reasons: i got out of the sun, and the earth surface was sooooooooooooooooo beautiful for my shins and knees. i could run that trail a million times for the sake of my joints. plus, i got to jump across the stream. wheeeee!

:)

so far this week, i've done 12 miles. i might do 2 miles with toby tomorrow, later in the evening of course as it gets hotter, and then another easy day on friday. i have pike's peek on sunday, and i'm not trying to get a PR. i'm not in good shape for that. but i just want to have fun with it, see some terprunner friends and chill w/ my guy.


as of 4/24, it'll be TWO races down, with four to go!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

as if i haven't stolen enough surveys.

1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight?
no fights.

2. Most money you ever owed a utility company?
well, i don't know about utilities, but i once had a $150 cell bill

3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
never

4. Longest time you slept in a car?
six hours

5. Most f'ed up nickname you've ever been given?
tie: pookie and boo boo kitty fuck. those two exes may burn in hell for that. (well, not the second one. but kind of.)

6. Worst job you ever had?
playground director in Avon. i could handle the shitty adults at my one other job, but in avon, the kids were so bad that i had to call the cops on them. several times.

7. Shortest job you've ever had?
library assistant

8. Longest romantic relationship?
me and the man responsible for bbkf. surprisingly, that lasted 3 1/2 years. almost engaged in fact. yikes.

9. Shortest romantic relationship?
10th grade, brian marquette. 2 weeks.

10. Food that you would eat til you puked?
i can't even think of eating that much. barf.

11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
eel. vomit.

12. What music saved your life?
third day- 'love song'

13. Person you miss the most in the world?
my grandma. we were really close. it's hard to believe that it'll be three years in august...

14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
rob roy, only because it was a horrible end to a chance to really one-up steve. story: when steve and i were dating, we made a bet as to which flavor was the gatorade original. he said orange, i said lemon-lime. whoever one won got to pick the movie. so i picked rob roy because it seemed like it'd be a fun adventure period piece. yeah... not so much. it was so bad that, not only did i not get to lord my intellectual win over steve, but i also got made fun of for so incredibly botching my chance to pick a chick flick and torture him. D-.

15. Best movie you've ever seen?
that's tough...i can't decide.

16. Craziest shit you've ever done sober?
marathon, hands down. i must still be insane because i'm doing another one this year...give me a white jacket already, will ya?

17. Ever almost die?
i don't want to talk about it.

18. Ever fistfight a member of the opposite sex?
no, but i've given a guy one hell of a bitch slap. left a red handprint on his face.

19. Best place you have ever lived?
cardiff, maryland. it's a pretty depressed little town these days, but it holds some of my best memories from childhood.

25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or Mac and cheeze aficionado?
umm... still am a ramen girl...

26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
i don't know, but the most i've ever been a part of was two weeks ago, at spezie's, when joy & lanny treated me & chris to this amazing dinner.

27. Best gift you ever got?
my first cabbage patch doll, jenna belvia, when i was 5. apparently, my mom had to be at toys 'r us at 5AM to get her; that was the first year they came out. luckily she didn't have to get in a cat-fight with other moms. well, she would have won anyway.

28. Best pet you ever had?
had implies in the past, so of course it's lady. best dog in the world.

29. Ever run from the cops?
no.

30. Where were you when the ball dropped for 2006?
in chris's arms. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (puke).

31. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
joey--one of my favorite nicknames EVER, from josh miller, one of my favorite people EVER.

32. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
third day--love song

33. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
he wasn't a celebrity in the way people think of it, and i didn't cry, but the death of jpII made me think about a lot of things...

34. What color underwear are you wearing?
white vs v string with a little blue and green flower on the left hip

35. Do you own an ipod?
no :( :( :(

36. What did you do this morning?
walked toby, took a shower, went to work, got the bejeezus scared out of me when i looked at my checking account balance and then very reluctantly paid some bills.

37. What does your mom do for a living?
middle school math teacher--she's been teaching 7th and 8th graders for nearly 30 years. she's a saint.

38. Where do you work?
Reznick Group, but not for long. :(

39. What ended your last relationship?
being taken for granted and mislead, plus my own baggage. not fun.

40. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number?
51

41. What was the last concert you attended?
ainzlee, in march at fletcher's

42. Who was with you?
kate

43. What was the last movie you watched?
the million dollar hotel. huge disappointment. and mel gibson did a REALLY bad job.

44. Who do you dislike at the moment?
the asshole who tried to grope me on the metro. i screamed at him on the platform though and embarrassed the hell out of him. i feel better.

45. What food do you crave right now?
chris's sweet love. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (vomit).

46. Did you dream last night?
no, but i had some very unsettling dreams this past weekend.

47. What was the last TV show you watched?
the today show. we'll miss you katie couric. well, no not really.

48. What is your fav piece of jewelry?
the jewelry my grandmother left me.

49. What is to the left of you?
a garfield cartoon

50. What was the last thing you ate?
yogurt.

51. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
steve. always. funny how bad relationships can turn into best friendships.

52. Who last IMed you?
steve. duh.

53. Are you on any medication?
yes. enough to make me vomit.

54. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
at my house, i have a small bed, so i'm on every side. at chris's, on the left (farthest from the bedroom door).

55. What color shirt are you wearing?
black

56. What color is your razor?
blue

57. What is your favorite frozen treat?
tie: DQ oreo blizzard and Turkey Hill tin roof sundae

58. how many tattoos and piercings do you have?
standard ear piercings. i've wanted a very specific tattoo since i was 19, but i haven't ever had the money to get it because it's my own custom design.

59. What's your favorite store?
victoria's secret

60. Are you thirsty right now?
nope.

61. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
someday, but not anytime soon. like years.

62. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
my grandma and grandpa beatty

63. What did you do last night?
watched million dollar hotel

64. Do you care what people think about you?
sometimes yes. other times, screw them.

65. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
of course. what were you thinking?

66. Do you like your nose?
yes.

67. What color is your bedroom?
blue.
68. When was the last time you worked out?
yesterday. i did an easy run around the harbor to watch all the volvo ocean race hoopla. pretty awesome.

69. What are your font colors on AIM?
black

70. Where do you live?
hampden (northern baltimore)

71. Are you an aggressive driver?
maybe a little. but i never drive like i'm in the handy 500.

72. Who is your cell phone carrier?
Verizon

73. Do you like the person who posted this last?
yes :)

74. What is across the room from you?
BIG windows facing the harbor.

75. What is the thing you'd most want to change about yourself?
being able to relax and not have so many hang-ups. i'd like to just take things as they are.

76. What color is your car?
silver

77. What do you smell like right now?
vanilla

78. What is your favorite color?
oceany blue

79. money or health?
Health.

80. Where was your last kiss?
my living room

81. What are you listening to right now?:
random office noises. it's pretty quiet though.

82. Whats your favorite number?
3

83. When was the last time you smiled?
this morning, to the coffee lady at boheme cafe

84. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my dad

85 What is your worst habit?
getting overly anxious about even good things. really good things...

86 Do you drink?
not very often. i get sick very very very easily.

87 Do you smoke?
eww, no.

88 When was the last time, if ever, you blacked out?
i've passed out after races. is that the same as blacking out?

89 Girlfriend/Boyfriend?
boyfriend

90 Your Hair color?
i'm a brunette with some natural golden highlights (esp. in the summer)

91 Eye Color?
oceany blue

92 Do you wear contacts?:
yes

93 Favorite Holiday?
probably memorial day. i do a great race at the VA with my dad every year, and then we usually have a great bbq afterward.

94 Favorite Month?:
june

95 Have you ever cried for no reason?:
of course. we're talking about me here.

96 Favorite Day of the Year?
Good Friday. very meaningful for me.

97 Are you too shy to ask someone out?:
not really. apparently, i was kind of aggressive with chris, even though i didn't really realize it.

98 Last advice you received?
get myself into a classroom. chris's half-brother's mom told me that i'm a born teacher, and i think she's right.

99 What was the highlight of your weekend?:
going to NJ with chris. probably the best easter in my life.

100 Chocolate or Vanilla?:
if it's softserve, then both.

101 What is the last text message you received?
i don't remember

102 What is the last text message you sent?:
"they're cutting my hours in half" :(

103 Who was the last person to call you?
my dad

104 What was the last sports game you watched?
ncaa women's bball championships. md beat duke!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

105 When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed?
in NJ this past weekend

106 Favorite movies
amelie, phantom of the opera, pirates of the caribbean, the spanish prisoner, troy (for less than honorable reasons)

107 Favorite football Team?
eagles! eagles! eagles!

108 What were you doing before this?
crying while paying bills

109 Any pets?
toby (neurotic 3 year old pup)

110 Favorite Drink?
vino verde: crisp, dry and cheap. i love the portuguese. :)

111 Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
plain

112 Dogs or cats?:
dogs

113 Favorite flower?:
lily, right chris? **cough cough**...

114 When was the last time you got in trouble?
when i skipped work to go to the ER. yeah. my ex-boss screamed at me for having a bad infection and needing urgent medical attention...

115 Have you ever loved someone?
yes

116 Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
no, but i have very fond memories.

117 Have you ever fired a gun?
no

118 do you like to travel by plane?
sometimes, but i LOVE traveling by train.

119 What websites do you go to frequently, besides myspace?
drudge report, washington post, baltimore sun

120 How many pillows do you sleep with?
2

121 Are you missing someone?
yes

122 How was your day?
jury's still out

123. State your name:
Joanna

124. age:
26

125. height:
5'6 3/4"

126. favorite food:
most anything pasta

127. favorite color:
oceany blue. we went over that already

128. current profession:
none, really. i want desperately to be a literature professor though.

129. where are you right now, physically?
in my cube at work along the harbor.

130. if you are listening to music, what is it? If not, what's the last song you heard?
500 Miles by those scottish dudes

131. what are you wearing?
black and white swirly skirt, black sweater & white top, black boots.

132. Given that straight in front of you = 12 o'clock, name an object at:
3 o'clock: accountant's calculator
9 o'clock: garfield cartoon

133. Describe the wall covering (paint/wallpaper) of the room you're in:
utilitarian white

134. Does your chair squeak?
No

135. Are you currently drinking/eating? if so, what?
vienna roast coffee. mmmmmmmmmmmm.

136. Is your desk/working surface clean or messy?
generally clean. i'm clearing it out for when they're done with me here. :(

137. Aside from yourself, is there an animal in the room?
no. pets are personas (?) non grata in the workplace.

138. Did the implication made in question 138 offend you in any way?
umm...?

139. If you are listening to music, hit pause for a second. Sit quietly, without typing or doing anything.
Just the fan on the furnace.
what's the question?

140. In general terms, how are you feeling today?
fine, except my back hurts. i'm an old lady.

141. Can you see a window (the outside kind, not the computer kind) from where you're sitting?
no. it's behind the wall of my cube

142. Name 3 words to describe yourself:
passionate, genuine, loyal

143. Name 3 words you think other people would use to describe you:
listener, loyal, giving

144. What do you do for fun when you're not on myspace?
run, read, write, play with toby, hang out with chris

145. Wallflower or Party Animal?
quasi-party animal

146. Describe your perfect date (the events, not the person):
sitting in the car after a late dinner at bennigan's, listening to music i've never heard before

147. Describe your perfect evening alone:
jazz after hours on wypr, lounging in my fuzzy blanket with toby curled next to me, reading a really good book

148. For each of the following sets of 4 words, put a B by the one that BEST describes you and an L by the one that LEAST describes you:


a. EXPRESSIVE B
COMPLIANT
FORCEFUL
RESTRAINED L

b. CHARMING
POSITIVE B
LENIENT
EXACTING L

c. RESERVED L
OUTSPOKEN B
STRICT
ELOQUENT

d. HIGH-SPIRITED
TALKATIVE
GOOD-NATURED B
CONSERVATIVE L

e. TIMID L
DEMANDING
PATIENT B (maybe not, but more than the other two)
CAPTIVATING


149. Clear your mind. Now type the first single word that comes to mind when you hear the following words:

a. angel : grace
b. guilty : fun
c. pants : off
d. dolphin : tuna
e. naked : comfortable
f. live : well
g. good : food
h. pasta : running
i. birth : new


150. What do you consider your best quality? i give very good advice. it's a wonder i don't take my own...


151. What do you consider your worst quality? i'm afraid of something that could become really amazing.

trying to run

so today i was really bouncing off the walls emotionally, so i went for a hard run.

and by hard, i mean slow. i'm serious.

if i'd run on pure adrenaline, i would have gone too fast and probably hurt myself. so, i made a conscious effort to run more evenly and relax my entire body. i did my out and back on roland, up to northern parkway (5 miles) in about 45 minutes. roland is one of my favorite, most soothing places to run. it did, in fact, calm me down.

yay.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

chris and i need a vacation from our vacation. we're both thoroughly exhausted, him moreso than me. BUT. it's one of the best kinds of exhaustion in the world.

we went up to his brother Jay's house in NJ for his nephew's 3rd birthday. Tommy turned 3 yesterday, and Chris had never met him. The last time he saw his niece Julia was when she was 2. so we both knew that this was going to be a big weekend for him. what we didn't know (and weren't prepared for) was the legion of children that showed up at Tommy's various birthday fetes. Julia and Tommy's cousins came over and were swarming around the house. six of them are under 7, and 5 of them are little girls. everywhere. a plague of locusts, if you will. BUT, these are all very sweet and fun kids, so Chris and I happily threw ourselves on the grenade and played with them while the parents and grandparents got to rest. well, to be truthful, it was mostly Chris who took one for the team. i've never seen anything like it.

those little girls were climbing all over him (Chris Mountain) forthe whole of Easter weekend. he played with Tommy and had so much fun watching his nephew figure out how trains work. i think he really surprised himself--he'd never been around little kids much in his whole life, and here he was, having a blast and relating to them so well. all of the kids adored him, especially Julia. she would NOT let go of him for three straight days. at both the bbq and Easter brunch, when all of the other kids were called to their table to eat, she would tie herself to Chris's arm until one of the adults would invariably let her eat with him. and, for three straight days, i was almost entirely supplanted. but that was fine by me.

this was perhaps my favorite Easter ever. and i can't think of what else to say.

irs

contest of the day: turn IRS into another acronym and give me as many meanings as possible. why am i doing this? because i can't think of anything myself. bonus points for humor and/or originality.



so i'm really proud of me. i completed my taxes ALL BY MYSELF. you don't understand. i have a sizeable math/money inferiority complex. the last *real* math class i took was in 11th grade, ten years ago. and even though the 1040EZ doesn't exactly call for a graduate degree, i'm still very wary that i'll miss a dollar or ten or misunderstand some directions. i think what made it manageable is the fact that i, in a sense, have no major assets besides my car. i'm not married either. woohoo for the bigger deduction! the only thing is that if i had a kid, i could get the dependent's deduction as well. it's very tempting, but i won't name Toby as my dependent. getting arrested for tax fraud would be a major downer.

of course, tasha's answer is to just have a kid anyway.

umm.....


no.

having kids will be extraordinarily complicated for me anyway, as it is for most women on any long-term medication. my psychiatrist said that he would want to send me to Boston, to the Perinatal Psychiatry Program at Mass. Gen. already, it sounds a bit intimidating. the big question is which option will have the most effects on the child--the mother getting off medication (in which she would be subject to her condition AND her raging hormones, which can stress the child) or staying on the mediction (which would expose the child to some pretty powerful chemical compounds). there is, of course, also the consideration of the mother's health. i know that when i've been off meds or on a lower dosage than i'm supposed to be, i spiral down with considerable and sometimes alarming speed.

then there are the people, including some physicians, who lecture women with any mental health condition about the selfishness of trying to have children. why subject a baby to such medical dangers just to satisfy your desires to be a mother? why allow for the possibility of bringing a life into the world that could get the damning gene and have to exist with the hell that is _X_? to those folks, i pass on a friendly *fuck you.*

for one, we don't hear of women with other health issues (e.g., high blood pressure, thyroid issues, hereditary heart conditions, previous miscarriages) being disparaged for their attempts to have children. why is mental health any different? it is a neurological issue! two, the argument that because the child might have to live with condition _X_, a woman should not even think of trying to conceive, is offensive. would mental illness make a child any less of a human being? are we saying that mentally ill people don't deserve to give life a shot, to have the chance to live the fullest life, just like anybody else? could the individual promoting this argument tell me to my face that because i have this condition that i shouldn't have been born, that it's better for me not to exist? that line of reasoning unequivocally sidelines my identity and accomplishments and labels me as a diseased individual bound to wallow in misery and die. so many brilliant artists, lawyers, business people, politicians, teachers, etc., etc., have had and do have bipolar disorder, and are people going to dismiss their amazing contributions to society? are they going to say, "you're better off dead?"

personally, i'm lucky that i know only one person who denies the validity of bipolar disorder, and i've just accepted that he's going to live under his rock no matter what i say. so many people have held me up, given me strength, pushed me forward and opened my eyes to the amazing things that lie within me. steve, courtney and chris have been especially important and supportive. interestingly, it's because of their support that i can be independent and stand on my own two feet.

and do my taxes.