how do things like this happen?
i have so many questions and defenses and accusations, and it all seems to me to be a bit... i don't know. but, there are some questions that i've been mulling over--
**at what point does a person accept disingenuity for the sake of keeping the peace? when does tact trump honesty?
**when or should someone censor him- or herself, if he or she has been able to enjoy an egalitarian arena of expression? criticism and negative response should come as no surprise. but, at the same time, if the medium is such that it paradoxically makes one voice heard and infinitesimal, should this person necessarily alter the nature and/or essence of the product?
**at what point does it become selfish to demand the writer or reader to change while the other remains unchanged? when is sacrifice and compromise reasonably expected of either party?
**why is it so much harder as adults?
whatever this is, it breaks my heart, largely because it is an indicator that there is a suddenly realized estrangement that has subconciously existed for a surprisingly long period of time. and it seems that things may get worse before they get better. that's not at all a way of saying that i don't want improvement and healing and detente, because i do want those things. rather, it is simply a statement of fact, as the layers meant to hide hurt have been irrevocably burned, and now everything is going to be revealed to the open air.
and, as hindsight is often wiser, let me recommend this--please don't try to discern who i am from reading a blog. it is spotty and incomplete and doesn't show all of me for who i am. it's hurtful to me to think that i must be so shallow and vapid as to be completely understandable from the words on a webpage. so just don't.
i have so many questions and defenses and accusations, and it all seems to me to be a bit... i don't know. but, there are some questions that i've been mulling over--
**at what point does a person accept disingenuity for the sake of keeping the peace? when does tact trump honesty?
**when or should someone censor him- or herself, if he or she has been able to enjoy an egalitarian arena of expression? criticism and negative response should come as no surprise. but, at the same time, if the medium is such that it paradoxically makes one voice heard and infinitesimal, should this person necessarily alter the nature and/or essence of the product?
**at what point does it become selfish to demand the writer or reader to change while the other remains unchanged? when is sacrifice and compromise reasonably expected of either party?
**why is it so much harder as adults?
whatever this is, it breaks my heart, largely because it is an indicator that there is a suddenly realized estrangement that has subconciously existed for a surprisingly long period of time. and it seems that things may get worse before they get better. that's not at all a way of saying that i don't want improvement and healing and detente, because i do want those things. rather, it is simply a statement of fact, as the layers meant to hide hurt have been irrevocably burned, and now everything is going to be revealed to the open air.
and, as hindsight is often wiser, let me recommend this--please don't try to discern who i am from reading a blog. it is spotty and incomplete and doesn't show all of me for who i am. it's hurtful to me to think that i must be so shallow and vapid as to be completely understandable from the words on a webpage. so just don't.
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