i just helped out, but i'm glad i got to work with him. tommy is awesome!!!
http://www.goccusports.com/menstandf/?player=1089
3.30.2006
i coached this guy!!!
i just helped out, but i'm glad i got to work with him. tommy is awesome!!!
http://www.goccusports.com/menstandf/?player=1089
3.29.2006
first person singular
i've been thinking about God. for the past few months, i haven't been to church for a variety of reasons. take your pick, but they've all had to do with me. that sounds painfully obvious, but hear me out. my faith has been fragile lately, and yet i didn't want to go to the service that i usually did. personally, it's become a bit too performance-oriented for my taste. but anyway, i figured i could handle it. well, as always happens, God never lets me go alone for very long, and yesterday He called it to my attention how aimless i was.
so it was all about me, and how i was struggling and how i was uncomfortable and how i was busy. and the strange consequence: the more i focused on myself, the worse i was doing. i couldn't do a darn thing to help myself. to some, this is obvious, to others, it's counterintuitive. but it is what it is. and tonight, the taize service was a blessing.
for those who have never heard of it, taize is a type of worship that originated in taize, france sometime in the 1940s (http://www.taize.fr/en). my church describes it as a service of sung and silent prayer. it's incredibly simple and poignant. what is very impressive is how powerful and worshipful the silence is. in a sense, it recalls the monastic practice of meditation, something that i find particularly healthful.
i think what i'm trying to say is that i've been tremendously caught up in myself, and the taize was a beautiful way to bring the focus back onto God, which is where it should be all along.
listen to the Third Person Omniscient...
so it was all about me, and how i was struggling and how i was uncomfortable and how i was busy. and the strange consequence: the more i focused on myself, the worse i was doing. i couldn't do a darn thing to help myself. to some, this is obvious, to others, it's counterintuitive. but it is what it is. and tonight, the taize service was a blessing.
for those who have never heard of it, taize is a type of worship that originated in taize, france sometime in the 1940s (http://www.taize.fr/en). my church describes it as a service of sung and silent prayer. it's incredibly simple and poignant. what is very impressive is how powerful and worshipful the silence is. in a sense, it recalls the monastic practice of meditation, something that i find particularly healthful.
i think what i'm trying to say is that i've been tremendously caught up in myself, and the taize was a beautiful way to bring the focus back onto God, which is where it should be all along.
listen to the Third Person Omniscient...
3.28.2006
a clarification
it occurred to me yesterday that my post about my personal not-chomping-at the-bit-for-marriage post might have offended a few folks, and i want to say that that was not my intent at all. first of all, in the space of...three (?) years, i attended a total of 10 weddings and was in 4 of said ceremonies. it wasn't an issue of "when is it my turn" (although an annoying number of relatives and older friends of parents asked that question...); rather, it was definitely about celebrating my good friends' nuptials.
my personal philosophy these days comes from something that is more deeply rooted than some sort of socially imposed timeline for all women. ever since i can remember, the things i did/achieved/reached for were by in large praised by the people around me. i interpreted this as my actions were very pleasing to them, and so i endeavored to earn their acceptance as much as possible. i would stress and strain, trying to follow others' (read=parents') advice and the most widely recommended paths as closely as i could. as i entered my twenties and was surrounded by the aforementioned plethora of weddings, asked the numerous questions about my future wedding bells, etc., i thought that it was essential for me to be married pretty soon. i was even considering moving myself around with my boyfriend at the time and put off graduate school, even though we weren't engaged or anything like that. i wanted to make it to the finish line, so to speak. that turned out to be one of the major reasons that our relationship exploded. in retrospect, that was probably one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.
i came to realize that my efforts to please everyone else was consuming my own future and sacrificing my dreams. i had become unhealthfully dependent on what everyone else thought, advised, and sometimes expected. like i said, the demise of that relationship was very good for me; it forced me to break my deeply ingrained habits and to truly and genuinely start out on my own and make decisions for myself. it's been a long process and hard pattern to shed, but i think at this point i've largely rid myself of such rigidity. as a result, i am thoroughly enjoying the liberties i'm now allowing myself, the opportunities that i'm exploring and the new possibilities that i'm seeing every day.
i'm much more ambivalent about marriage than i used to be, in terms of when, where, how, who, etc., and for me, i think that is a very healthy change. sure, eventually i would like to be married and have a family, but it doesn't need to be tomorrow.
the self-imposed pressure is gone, and i feel freer than i ever have in my life.
my personal philosophy these days comes from something that is more deeply rooted than some sort of socially imposed timeline for all women. ever since i can remember, the things i did/achieved/reached for were by in large praised by the people around me. i interpreted this as my actions were very pleasing to them, and so i endeavored to earn their acceptance as much as possible. i would stress and strain, trying to follow others' (read=parents') advice and the most widely recommended paths as closely as i could. as i entered my twenties and was surrounded by the aforementioned plethora of weddings, asked the numerous questions about my future wedding bells, etc., i thought that it was essential for me to be married pretty soon. i was even considering moving myself around with my boyfriend at the time and put off graduate school, even though we weren't engaged or anything like that. i wanted to make it to the finish line, so to speak. that turned out to be one of the major reasons that our relationship exploded. in retrospect, that was probably one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.
i came to realize that my efforts to please everyone else was consuming my own future and sacrificing my dreams. i had become unhealthfully dependent on what everyone else thought, advised, and sometimes expected. like i said, the demise of that relationship was very good for me; it forced me to break my deeply ingrained habits and to truly and genuinely start out on my own and make decisions for myself. it's been a long process and hard pattern to shed, but i think at this point i've largely rid myself of such rigidity. as a result, i am thoroughly enjoying the liberties i'm now allowing myself, the opportunities that i'm exploring and the new possibilities that i'm seeing every day.
i'm much more ambivalent about marriage than i used to be, in terms of when, where, how, who, etc., and for me, i think that is a very healthy change. sure, eventually i would like to be married and have a family, but it doesn't need to be tomorrow.
the self-imposed pressure is gone, and i feel freer than i ever have in my life.
3.27.2006
title fight
the djs posed an interesting question this morning: how do you know that you and your s.o. have become boyfriend and girlfriend? in high school and usually in college (at least for me), it was largely assumed that if you were dating somebody at all, you could take on those titles. now, when beginning a relationship in the "real world," that's basically not the case at all. here's my little story.
chris and i met at the god-awful tutoring center this past summer, and about a month later, we agreed to hang out. that first night, we had dinner at bennigan's, and we really clicked. it soon became routine for us to hang out after work on thursdays, often having conversations lasting into the wee hours of the next morning. after about a month+, when talking to my girl buds, i referred to him as my boyfriend, but i wasn't really comfortable saying that to him directly. we even spent thanksgiving with his family a month later, and we hadn't really made things "official." part of the issue is that we've both been pretty badly burned before, and we weren't ready to jump into things; we wanted to take our time, see if we were really connecting. it would be kind of a major thing to announce our bond to the world with the bf/gf names.
it wasn't until the band incident that that changed. for the small number of you who haven't heard me rant angrily about that evening, basically i was ambushed into meeting two of his exes, one of whom was insane and the other one who played nasty little manipulative games. let's call her B. i'm sure you can guess what that stands for. it doesn't take a rocket scientist... anyway, we came into the bar together and after awhile started to mingle separately. B came over to Chris (they'd been apart for a year but were still friends), and the following very short conversation ensued:
B: so. who's that pretty girl you came in with?
C: that's my girlfriend.
B: oh....
keep in mind that him calling me such is a big step for us, and for him especially. later, when we were leaving and i was really pissed off at how she treated me, he told me about their little chat and what effect it had when he called me his girlfriend. it was the first time he'd ever called me that, and he told me that it meant something to him. it really turned the night around for me, and even though i still loathe most of that night, i always keep in mind what he said. and that makes my day brighter.
at this point, he and i have been together for... september to now... 6+ months? we're still kind of feeling things out and figuring out how much commitment we want with each other, and that's fine. being b/f & g/f doesn't automatically meld two people at the hip, and i think that's something that a lot of people and, sorry girls but i think this is true, especially women don't understand.
these days, chris and i don't go around saying "my g/f does this" or "my b/f said this the other day." and honestly, i like that better. when we refer to each other, we do so by name. in my mind, titles aren't necessarily specific and can in reality cause a lot of contention because the expectations that come with them are inevitably different. and in using his name, things are more personal; i'm referring to the man and who he is, something that is hell of a lot more meaningful to me than some generic label.
so i guess you could say that my boyfriend doesn't matter much to me. but, chris is someone who is sharing his life with me, and that is so much better.
chris and i met at the god-awful tutoring center this past summer, and about a month later, we agreed to hang out. that first night, we had dinner at bennigan's, and we really clicked. it soon became routine for us to hang out after work on thursdays, often having conversations lasting into the wee hours of the next morning. after about a month+, when talking to my girl buds, i referred to him as my boyfriend, but i wasn't really comfortable saying that to him directly. we even spent thanksgiving with his family a month later, and we hadn't really made things "official." part of the issue is that we've both been pretty badly burned before, and we weren't ready to jump into things; we wanted to take our time, see if we were really connecting. it would be kind of a major thing to announce our bond to the world with the bf/gf names.
it wasn't until the band incident that that changed. for the small number of you who haven't heard me rant angrily about that evening, basically i was ambushed into meeting two of his exes, one of whom was insane and the other one who played nasty little manipulative games. let's call her B. i'm sure you can guess what that stands for. it doesn't take a rocket scientist... anyway, we came into the bar together and after awhile started to mingle separately. B came over to Chris (they'd been apart for a year but were still friends), and the following very short conversation ensued:
B: so. who's that pretty girl you came in with?
C: that's my girlfriend.
B: oh....
keep in mind that him calling me such is a big step for us, and for him especially. later, when we were leaving and i was really pissed off at how she treated me, he told me about their little chat and what effect it had when he called me his girlfriend. it was the first time he'd ever called me that, and he told me that it meant something to him. it really turned the night around for me, and even though i still loathe most of that night, i always keep in mind what he said. and that makes my day brighter.
at this point, he and i have been together for... september to now... 6+ months? we're still kind of feeling things out and figuring out how much commitment we want with each other, and that's fine. being b/f & g/f doesn't automatically meld two people at the hip, and i think that's something that a lot of people and, sorry girls but i think this is true, especially women don't understand.
these days, chris and i don't go around saying "my g/f does this" or "my b/f said this the other day." and honestly, i like that better. when we refer to each other, we do so by name. in my mind, titles aren't necessarily specific and can in reality cause a lot of contention because the expectations that come with them are inevitably different. and in using his name, things are more personal; i'm referring to the man and who he is, something that is hell of a lot more meaningful to me than some generic label.
so i guess you could say that my boyfriend doesn't matter much to me. but, chris is someone who is sharing his life with me, and that is so much better.
3.26.2006
she's back, by popular demand!!! (get ready for a hella long post...)
so by now, everybody's bracket is pretty much fucked.
HA-HA!
that's for all the chumps who put $$$ on duke. i hate you.
i pretty much suck at predicting, but i'm seriously thinking it'll be a florida/lsu match-up, with very gritty, kinda ugly, physical play. lsu on top but not by much. cross your fingers and give me money if i'm right. :)
***apparently, yesterday i blew somebody's mind to the nth degree. excellent. i win.***
i should win a prize for the longest period drawn out without doing laundry; almost a month. how does she do it, you ask? simple; have a pair of underwear for as many days as you want to avoid the boring-est chore ever. # in my drawer? 36. thank you. *--> drawback of waiting: having to tote from the basement to the 2nd floor and then fold a month's worth of laundry. truth be told, i should have burned half the clothes, seeing as how i was laying around in my own pool of plague for five days last week. but whatever.
so i read this article in the post today (soooooooo much better than the b. sun, and i miss it) that talks about 20-somethings who just aren't really seeking out marriage and everything. apparently, researchers our parents' age did surveys and crap and saw that not as many of us are getting married as young, at least not as many as they thought were. a lot of the people they interviewed cited career as the number one pursuit, and i definitely see that. i think it's a huge benchmark for my peers to hit solvency doing what they WANT to do for a job, and other things can be seen as a distraction. relationships take time and commitment, after all.
after reading this, i realized that i'd had this internal struggle for a long time. i've always felt torn because the professions i've really been drawn to require an almost excessive amount of commitment, an amount that might push having a family back for some years until i'm more settled and/or established. and only now, ten years after first feeling this conflict, i'm realizing what i really want to do and that it's really what i want to do. in about two years or so, i hope to be off to grad school again, getting in over my head in a PhD program. who knows how that will affect my current relationships.
is this a really selfish thing? i would hope not. i talk about it with chris because this is definitely his mindset, and his view is that we're probably the first generation to truly pursue the dreams we've been told we can have and can come true since we were little. that, of course, comes with sacrifice, and i think we both realize that we can choose the extent of that sacrifice.
this comes as a big surprise to my mom. granted, i'm 26, but in the past six months or so, i've started to push in my own direction (philosophically) from my family, and i'm choosing something really different than they might have predicted. maybe i used to be chomping at the bit to have more when i was in my previous relationship, but at the same time, i am so much more independent now, and i'm really enjoying it. she said, "i thought you were tired of 'always the bridesmaid...', etc.," and that really surprised me that she said that. yeah, it's something i want someday, but i don't see that for years yet, and i'm certainly not going to go husband-scouting or be all pressure-y in a relationship. that's just silly.
so for now, yeah, there are things i want to change as far as career and finances and things like that. but i really like this idea of breaking through and exploring things on my own. i like not being in the beatty mold. i'm making my own path, and that's a thrill in itself. i'll admit that sometimes it's scary and lonely, but in the end, it's incredibly enriching, and i don't believe that it'll always be a solitary journey.
when life is ready, life is ready. and i'm fine with that.
HA-HA!
that's for all the chumps who put $$$ on duke. i hate you.
i pretty much suck at predicting, but i'm seriously thinking it'll be a florida/lsu match-up, with very gritty, kinda ugly, physical play. lsu on top but not by much. cross your fingers and give me money if i'm right. :)
***apparently, yesterday i blew somebody's mind to the nth degree. excellent. i win.***
i should win a prize for the longest period drawn out without doing laundry; almost a month. how does she do it, you ask? simple; have a pair of underwear for as many days as you want to avoid the boring-est chore ever. # in my drawer? 36. thank you. *--> drawback of waiting: having to tote from the basement to the 2nd floor and then fold a month's worth of laundry. truth be told, i should have burned half the clothes, seeing as how i was laying around in my own pool of plague for five days last week. but whatever.
so i read this article in the post today (soooooooo much better than the b. sun, and i miss it) that talks about 20-somethings who just aren't really seeking out marriage and everything. apparently, researchers our parents' age did surveys and crap and saw that not as many of us are getting married as young, at least not as many as they thought were. a lot of the people they interviewed cited career as the number one pursuit, and i definitely see that. i think it's a huge benchmark for my peers to hit solvency doing what they WANT to do for a job, and other things can be seen as a distraction. relationships take time and commitment, after all.
after reading this, i realized that i'd had this internal struggle for a long time. i've always felt torn because the professions i've really been drawn to require an almost excessive amount of commitment, an amount that might push having a family back for some years until i'm more settled and/or established. and only now, ten years after first feeling this conflict, i'm realizing what i really want to do and that it's really what i want to do. in about two years or so, i hope to be off to grad school again, getting in over my head in a PhD program. who knows how that will affect my current relationships.
is this a really selfish thing? i would hope not. i talk about it with chris because this is definitely his mindset, and his view is that we're probably the first generation to truly pursue the dreams we've been told we can have and can come true since we were little. that, of course, comes with sacrifice, and i think we both realize that we can choose the extent of that sacrifice.
this comes as a big surprise to my mom. granted, i'm 26, but in the past six months or so, i've started to push in my own direction (philosophically) from my family, and i'm choosing something really different than they might have predicted. maybe i used to be chomping at the bit to have more when i was in my previous relationship, but at the same time, i am so much more independent now, and i'm really enjoying it. she said, "i thought you were tired of 'always the bridesmaid...', etc.," and that really surprised me that she said that. yeah, it's something i want someday, but i don't see that for years yet, and i'm certainly not going to go husband-scouting or be all pressure-y in a relationship. that's just silly.
so for now, yeah, there are things i want to change as far as career and finances and things like that. but i really like this idea of breaking through and exploring things on my own. i like not being in the beatty mold. i'm making my own path, and that's a thrill in itself. i'll admit that sometimes it's scary and lonely, but in the end, it's incredibly enriching, and i don't believe that it'll always be a solitary journey.
when life is ready, life is ready. and i'm fine with that.
3.17.2006
what rhymes with "acquiesce"?
i'm not feeling so hot today, mostly because there's miscommunication, or a lack of even that, and, unfortunately, i'm not the most patient person. i also tend to take some small things pretty personally, which i know i need to not do. be that as it may, there's something to be said for coming through when one says he or she will, as it kind of implies to others how dependable he or she is. i think i'm more disappointed than anything else. i was hoping for crazy sushi st. patrick's day fun, with poker and basketball to cap the night. this probably won't happen. well, the sushi and the fun and the poker and the basketball will still happen, but probably not the crazy part, all because of getting wires crossed, or, as i implied above, not even crossing them at all. and way to go me, as i leave a terse message and later fire off an equally biting email. i don't like to be a complainer, i don't like to nag, and i consider myself a pretty independent woman (cue Beyonce) with an interesting life of her own. but come on. what am i supposed to do? i'm sure that there will be a remedy to this still-nascent spat, as well as the requisite kiss-and-make-up part. whee.
actually, i feel better now. i guess i needed to vent a lot. like i said, there's probably some valid explanation, blah blah blah, and i can get over it. now i really can look forward to a great night out with friends. i won't be able to down some green beer tonight though because i have to work tomorrow. it can be tiring to work on the weekends, but then again, it can be really good because of overtime. cha-ching!
i'm flip-flopping on phds again. since i've given up prime time tv for lent, a lot of time has opened up (duh), and i've already read samson agonistes, a good deal of petrarch, and the lais of marie de france. my trouble now is twofold; i need more books (nothing new there), and i like so much of so many varying periods that i have no idea how to narrow my research focus. it'd be nearly impossible to be an expert on the literature of the 9th through 17th centuries. again i ask--what's a girl to do?!! what a vexing question. of course, i could always make my way through the shakespeare plays and poems that i haven't read, but i'm not terribly interested in them. that's a good thing--at least i know i don't want to be a shakespeare scholar; there are too many of them, and, frankly, shakespeare bores me now. so, grad school is very up-in-the-air right now. we'll see. i'm make a decision sooner or later.
actually, i feel better now. i guess i needed to vent a lot. like i said, there's probably some valid explanation, blah blah blah, and i can get over it. now i really can look forward to a great night out with friends. i won't be able to down some green beer tonight though because i have to work tomorrow. it can be tiring to work on the weekends, but then again, it can be really good because of overtime. cha-ching!
i'm flip-flopping on phds again. since i've given up prime time tv for lent, a lot of time has opened up (duh), and i've already read samson agonistes, a good deal of petrarch, and the lais of marie de france. my trouble now is twofold; i need more books (nothing new there), and i like so much of so many varying periods that i have no idea how to narrow my research focus. it'd be nearly impossible to be an expert on the literature of the 9th through 17th centuries. again i ask--what's a girl to do?!! what a vexing question. of course, i could always make my way through the shakespeare plays and poems that i haven't read, but i'm not terribly interested in them. that's a good thing--at least i know i don't want to be a shakespeare scholar; there are too many of them, and, frankly, shakespeare bores me now. so, grad school is very up-in-the-air right now. we'll see. i'm make a decision sooner or later.
3.16.2006
sham.......rock 5K
so unfortunately, this year's shamrock run in downtown baltimore wasn't as fun as the two i've done previously. that's probably due to the numerous participants who don't know much about race etiquette. or rather, don't know anything at all. my main gripe is that, if you're going to stop dead in your tracks, MOVE TO THE SIDE INSTEAD OF CAUSING THE RUNNER BEHIND YOU TO SLAM INTO YOUR BACK AND/OR DANGEROUSLY TRIP OVER YOUR FEET. i was so annoyed. fortunately though, i wasn't trying for any blazing times this year, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. apparently, kim wasn't too thrilled with her race experience either: http://kletco.blogspot.com/ . the freebies weren't that spectacular this year either, and i'm guessing that it's because of a change in sponsors. we got the requisite t-shirt and a nutrition bar. wheeeee....
the good part of the race: i ran the whole way with my dad. running is a thing that belongs to me and my dad. we've been doing this together for, oh..., say, 12 or 13 years? and i don't know why i didn't do this sooner, but this was the first time dad and i stayed together. we ran at an easy, conversational pace, and the neat thing was that we were right behind another, albeit younger, father daughter pair. they were probably the ages that dad and i were when the two of us started out... anyway, we talked a little, were quiet a little, and then got mischievous and decided to smoke our counterparts on the last third of the race. :)
dad and i are going to the Lebanon VA 5K memorial day weekend, a race that we've run together for 12 consecutive years. it's now our tradition. i always go home for that weekend. that's a nice, small race with a relatively flat, fast course. so i guess i can just pack away the shamrock run and look forward to the VA 5K and the bunches of other races that i'm hoping to do this year.
a favorite thing about running: it's a self-regenerative pleasure. probably one of the few things out there like that.
the good part of the race: i ran the whole way with my dad. running is a thing that belongs to me and my dad. we've been doing this together for, oh..., say, 12 or 13 years? and i don't know why i didn't do this sooner, but this was the first time dad and i stayed together. we ran at an easy, conversational pace, and the neat thing was that we were right behind another, albeit younger, father daughter pair. they were probably the ages that dad and i were when the two of us started out... anyway, we talked a little, were quiet a little, and then got mischievous and decided to smoke our counterparts on the last third of the race. :)
dad and i are going to the Lebanon VA 5K memorial day weekend, a race that we've run together for 12 consecutive years. it's now our tradition. i always go home for that weekend. that's a nice, small race with a relatively flat, fast course. so i guess i can just pack away the shamrock run and look forward to the VA 5K and the bunches of other races that i'm hoping to do this year.
a favorite thing about running: it's a self-regenerative pleasure. probably one of the few things out there like that.
3.15.2006
glutton for punishment...
first of all, MAD PROPS to Wacky Neighbor for deciding to do a marathon. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)
as for myself, i decided that my first marathon in october didn't destroy my body enough. while i'm pleased that i fulfilled a long-held goal, i've since made up my mind that i need to grind myself into the ground. so. my goal for 2006: run practically every standard race distance this year (apart from ultras). i've given myself the option of copping out of a marathon, mostly because a) i'm not sure if i'll feel like it, and b) if i do, i don't want to repeat baltimore and don't know if i can afford to go to the marathon that i REALLY want to do. that marathon would be the VALLEY OF FIRE marathon in las vegas in november. do you still doubt that i'm a glutton for punishment? anyway, i have a few races already planned:
Pike's Peek 10K (rockville), 4/23
Lebanon VA 5K, 5/17
Annapolis 10 miler, 8/27, or Army 10 miler, 10/8
Baltimore half-marathon, 10/14
if i could afford it, i would love to do the Virginia Beach Rock & Roll half-marathon in early september. but again, some of these races are pricey, not to mention travel expenses... we'll see.
by christmas, i'll have either pounded myself to dust or become a distance running machine.
probably the latter.
:)
:)
as for myself, i decided that my first marathon in october didn't destroy my body enough. while i'm pleased that i fulfilled a long-held goal, i've since made up my mind that i need to grind myself into the ground. so. my goal for 2006: run practically every standard race distance this year (apart from ultras). i've given myself the option of copping out of a marathon, mostly because a) i'm not sure if i'll feel like it, and b) if i do, i don't want to repeat baltimore and don't know if i can afford to go to the marathon that i REALLY want to do. that marathon would be the VALLEY OF FIRE marathon in las vegas in november. do you still doubt that i'm a glutton for punishment? anyway, i have a few races already planned:
Pike's Peek 10K (rockville), 4/23
Lebanon VA 5K, 5/17
Annapolis 10 miler, 8/27, or Army 10 miler, 10/8
Baltimore half-marathon, 10/14
if i could afford it, i would love to do the Virginia Beach Rock & Roll half-marathon in early september. but again, some of these races are pricey, not to mention travel expenses... we'll see.
by christmas, i'll have either pounded myself to dust or become a distance running machine.
probably the latter.
:)
3.07.2006
unbelievable...
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=lifeAndLeisureNews&storyid=2006-03-07T131434Z_01_L16289504_RTRUKOC_0_US-RELIGION-DUTCH-BURQA.xml&rpc=22
for a continent that blasts the U.S. for its right-wing conservatism, it sure has some self-examination to do.
for a continent that blasts the U.S. for its right-wing conservatism, it sure has some self-examination to do.
3.06.2006
5 reasons not to run with your dog
everybody knows that i love toby. i love my dog. he's been great. he'll be three on april 1st. yeah. april 1st. so ultimately, i guess the joke is on me.
5) pee and poo breaks. one minute, you're going along at a nice clip and then *YOINK!* you're jerked back to a tree and have to break out the plastic bags. and if there's no trash can nearby, then you're carrying the bag one way or the other. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
4) folks on the sidewalk... automatically think that you're sending your dog after them. you know, chase the weakest one in the herd so that the hunter has an easy target. this evening, i saw that toby and i were approaching an older lady who was walking her little dog. so, as i try to do as a courtesy to all walkers, i shorten toby's leash and have him run on the other side of me. as we pass this lady, she screams, "AGH! BIG DOG!" and yanks her 1 pound of a dog, throwing him on the sidewalk. apparently, "toby" is an alias for "cujo."
3) lack of dog-friendly places to run in the city. toby and i have run figure-eights in wyman park about a bazillion times, and he can practically run the path without me. he's probably not bored, but geez. even though it's barely a 20 minute run, i'm bored out of my mind. i'd rather not run him in the neighborhoods because, just like for people, the concrete and asphalt are hard on his joints.
2) lack of canine exhaustion. i'm finding that toby has a lot more endurance than i realized. we used to just do only a mile. but we've breached the 5K mark! and tonight, we did ~3 miles at a decent clip for him, and tonight, he's bouncing off the walls. what happened to long exercises tiring him out? making him a little docile? i have a feeling that he's the one exercising me...
1) sled dog without a sled. did i mention that toby can run? far? and almost tirelessly? while pulling me? it's a little helpful when he's dragging me up the hill, but it's a bitch when we're going downhill. dammit. i'm lucky that i have good balance and cannot be toppled as easily as toby would like...
but, i have to say... screw the reasons. my time running with toby gets me out there, makes running fun and brings it back to its simple roots. it's about enjoying movement and challenge and silent comraderie. my muscles are a little sore, and toby eventually gets tired. so on we'll go, heading out the door tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.
mush mush mush mush mush mush...
5) pee and poo breaks. one minute, you're going along at a nice clip and then *YOINK!* you're jerked back to a tree and have to break out the plastic bags. and if there's no trash can nearby, then you're carrying the bag one way or the other. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
4) folks on the sidewalk... automatically think that you're sending your dog after them. you know, chase the weakest one in the herd so that the hunter has an easy target. this evening, i saw that toby and i were approaching an older lady who was walking her little dog. so, as i try to do as a courtesy to all walkers, i shorten toby's leash and have him run on the other side of me. as we pass this lady, she screams, "AGH! BIG DOG!" and yanks her 1 pound of a dog, throwing him on the sidewalk. apparently, "toby" is an alias for "cujo."
3) lack of dog-friendly places to run in the city. toby and i have run figure-eights in wyman park about a bazillion times, and he can practically run the path without me. he's probably not bored, but geez. even though it's barely a 20 minute run, i'm bored out of my mind. i'd rather not run him in the neighborhoods because, just like for people, the concrete and asphalt are hard on his joints.
2) lack of canine exhaustion. i'm finding that toby has a lot more endurance than i realized. we used to just do only a mile. but we've breached the 5K mark! and tonight, we did ~3 miles at a decent clip for him, and tonight, he's bouncing off the walls. what happened to long exercises tiring him out? making him a little docile? i have a feeling that he's the one exercising me...
1) sled dog without a sled. did i mention that toby can run? far? and almost tirelessly? while pulling me? it's a little helpful when he's dragging me up the hill, but it's a bitch when we're going downhill. dammit. i'm lucky that i have good balance and cannot be toppled as easily as toby would like...
but, i have to say... screw the reasons. my time running with toby gets me out there, makes running fun and brings it back to its simple roots. it's about enjoying movement and challenge and silent comraderie. my muscles are a little sore, and toby eventually gets tired. so on we'll go, heading out the door tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.
mush mush mush mush mush mush...
3.01.2006
parini and the eros of teaching
**before i get started on this particular post, please let me say that i clearly know the line between appropriate and inappropriate interaction, and i have not ever crossed and never will cross it.**
in the art of teaching, parini never stops stressing the importance of living one's passion for his or her subject matter, as that is the real exemplum of independent thinking for the student. toward the end of the book, this element becomes extremely important for office hours. i quote:
"Nobody who has taught for very long has not experienced the strange allure and intimacy of the teacher-student relationship; it goes beyond sex...There is true love in the passing on of knowledge, and this involves understanding: the teacher must really know the student, on some deep level, for teaching of the most intense kind to happen. The student must have real love for the teacher. We have all experienced this, from first grade through graduate school, and beyond" (124).
and this has happened to me. when i was studying at umd, i became somewhat transfixed by one of my professors. we worked closely together on one of my favorite authors, and during our conversations, i learned so much more than i ever would have if i'd had to do the majority of research on my own. as parini noted, this is a two-way street, and i think that this individual found great pleasure in our dialogue as well. and, as parini also noted, we were aware that "this eros is naturally dangerous as well as beneficial" (124). several times, as we noticed the growth of our small-talk before our sessions, we would consciously and sometimes awkwardly curtail the non-academic topics and force ourselves to move on to the analysis before us.
at this point in this remeniscence (sp?), i want to stress parini's point that the exchange transcends the sexual and/or the romantic, and i never would have dared to broach any suggestion of that sort. it would have destroyed so much beauty.
anyway, i'd never before experienced that sort of exhilierating intellectual intimacy. truthfully, i'm somewhat wary of living that again, mostly because it is extraordinarily intense and, i confess, sometimes too enticing. but at the same time, i'll remember everything that i learned about milton. i'll always respect the man who taught me and yet simultaneously treated me as a colleague.
and, perhaps most importantly, i'll always fiercely treasure those friday afternoons that, if only for an hour, carried me to a greater chance of being.
in the art of teaching, parini never stops stressing the importance of living one's passion for his or her subject matter, as that is the real exemplum of independent thinking for the student. toward the end of the book, this element becomes extremely important for office hours. i quote:
"Nobody who has taught for very long has not experienced the strange allure and intimacy of the teacher-student relationship; it goes beyond sex...There is true love in the passing on of knowledge, and this involves understanding: the teacher must really know the student, on some deep level, for teaching of the most intense kind to happen. The student must have real love for the teacher. We have all experienced this, from first grade through graduate school, and beyond" (124).
and this has happened to me. when i was studying at umd, i became somewhat transfixed by one of my professors. we worked closely together on one of my favorite authors, and during our conversations, i learned so much more than i ever would have if i'd had to do the majority of research on my own. as parini noted, this is a two-way street, and i think that this individual found great pleasure in our dialogue as well. and, as parini also noted, we were aware that "this eros is naturally dangerous as well as beneficial" (124). several times, as we noticed the growth of our small-talk before our sessions, we would consciously and sometimes awkwardly curtail the non-academic topics and force ourselves to move on to the analysis before us.
at this point in this remeniscence (sp?), i want to stress parini's point that the exchange transcends the sexual and/or the romantic, and i never would have dared to broach any suggestion of that sort. it would have destroyed so much beauty.
anyway, i'd never before experienced that sort of exhilierating intellectual intimacy. truthfully, i'm somewhat wary of living that again, mostly because it is extraordinarily intense and, i confess, sometimes too enticing. but at the same time, i'll remember everything that i learned about milton. i'll always respect the man who taught me and yet simultaneously treated me as a colleague.
and, perhaps most importantly, i'll always fiercely treasure those friday afternoons that, if only for an hour, carried me to a greater chance of being.
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