the ladies have decided that, considering the nature of the male beast, it will now be called "foreplay cake." although, in the case of some gentlemen, it's "better than second base cake."
sorry, guys.
question: LADIES! are there times when you would rather have the aforementioned cake as opposed to its male substitute? is it worth it to have one of our headaches just to have the cake instead?
film at eleven...
8.28.2006
8.25.2006
two decent runs in a row?
go figure. i was feeling like crap all day, really noting the chunk that's been hanging on to me. the guys i know are like, "oh, shut up, you look fine," blah, blah, blah. and guys, trust me, i appreciate it. i don't disbelieve you. but, every woman will know what i mean when i say that there are fat days. and i've been having a fat month. my guess is that my up-and-down summer is catching up with me.
ANYWAY.
i went for a little run tonight, just doing another short out-and-back. i added only five minutes, to make it 25 total. the way i see it, it's better to do straightforward, mentally easy runs for now. that'll probably make it easier to get back into things. awesome.
ANYWAY.
i went for a little run tonight, just doing another short out-and-back. i added only five minutes, to make it 25 total. the way i see it, it's better to do straightforward, mentally easy runs for now. that'll probably make it easier to get back into things. awesome.
8.24.2006
so tired, and yet still antsy...
i finally ran again tonight. i'd been so nervous to go out again, thanks to this past summer--getting sick for an entire weekend following a run, passing out, almost passing out, being taken to the ER. i took it slow, went for only 20 minutes. i felt pretty good about it, and afterward i did a few little exercises here in the apartment. it's encouraging, so maybe i'll go again tomorrow. i'm not counting on the philly distance festival next month, but i'm hoping that i'll be okay for the october races, especially the army ten miler. i'll take little steps, but maybe eventually i'll get over my nervousness and be able to train regularly.
other than running, things have been really good. i start teaching at a little school in essex on monday, and i'm anxious to get going with 7th grade english. last night was parent night, and i think i rocked the house. even though it'll be a lot of Very Hard Work, it should also be awesome. wish me luck!
but now i have to go to bed on time. crap...
i finally ran again tonight. i'd been so nervous to go out again, thanks to this past summer--getting sick for an entire weekend following a run, passing out, almost passing out, being taken to the ER. i took it slow, went for only 20 minutes. i felt pretty good about it, and afterward i did a few little exercises here in the apartment. it's encouraging, so maybe i'll go again tomorrow. i'm not counting on the philly distance festival next month, but i'm hoping that i'll be okay for the october races, especially the army ten miler. i'll take little steps, but maybe eventually i'll get over my nervousness and be able to train regularly.
other than running, things have been really good. i start teaching at a little school in essex on monday, and i'm anxious to get going with 7th grade english. last night was parent night, and i think i rocked the house. even though it'll be a lot of Very Hard Work, it should also be awesome. wish me luck!
but now i have to go to bed on time. crap...
8.13.2006
this is getting ridiculous
so this past week was supposed to be the great relaxing beach vacation that i haven't had IN years. and, thank you, murphy's law, it wasn't.
set up: mom & dad got a fantastic little condo in OC for a week, and chris & i were going down for a few days. geoff & co. were going to be there for a few days too.
get down there. dad is already having major stomach issues and thus travels between his bedroom and bathroom. geoff & co. aren't coming down until the next day. but chris & i enjoy a beautiful walk on the beach. aww. next day. on the beach with chris. awesome. geoff & co. arrive, and the family dynamics kick in. put fairly behaviorally-conservative big brother and outspoken, offbeat boyfriend in close quarters for a few hours and blend. oil and water. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge tension. discomfort. tears on my part. WHY can't things gel as well i want? geoff all quietly, but obviously, perturbed, and chris uncomfortable. fantastic. me. IN TEARS. oh, and fyi-dad in the ER because of his gastro-intestinal problems.
FUCKING AWESOME.
however, that night: two-on-two with chris & me and geoff & mia. it's pretty obvious that the men are making an effort to not rock the boat and get to know each other and the women are helping with conversation segues and bump-smoothers. thankfully, it goes okay, and by the time chris & i leave for a night out, there's a subtle sigh of relief on both camps that things are pretty okay. apparently, i was the one that was the most uncomfortable and was perceiving more of a problem then there was.
next day: dad still in the ER but in okay condition, but he has some kind of rupture/etc. that has to be surgically repaired. poor dad. mom, the trooper, at the hospital with him. me in emotional crisis. brother and boyfriend adjusting. yick. but, all of us, sans mom & dad, get some beautiful beach time. we all vacate the condo after awhile. it seems that everything has been so up and down and may settle any way.
that night: i'm driving home, and chris & i get lost TWICE. stupid delaware. delaware sucks. oh. and i get a ticket. $110. stupid delaware. it takes FOUR AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME. we don't get back until 2AM.
this caps off the most emotionally roller-coaster-istic summer in my life. *parting* ways with a roommate, no job, finding a new place, doing a lot of the moving mostly myself, getting a job and finding out less than 10 minutes later that my grandpa had passed away, the most amazing relationship moment in my life, this vacation.
whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
right?
set up: mom & dad got a fantastic little condo in OC for a week, and chris & i were going down for a few days. geoff & co. were going to be there for a few days too.
get down there. dad is already having major stomach issues and thus travels between his bedroom and bathroom. geoff & co. aren't coming down until the next day. but chris & i enjoy a beautiful walk on the beach. aww. next day. on the beach with chris. awesome. geoff & co. arrive, and the family dynamics kick in. put fairly behaviorally-conservative big brother and outspoken, offbeat boyfriend in close quarters for a few hours and blend. oil and water. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge tension. discomfort. tears on my part. WHY can't things gel as well i want? geoff all quietly, but obviously, perturbed, and chris uncomfortable. fantastic. me. IN TEARS. oh, and fyi-dad in the ER because of his gastro-intestinal problems.
FUCKING AWESOME.
however, that night: two-on-two with chris & me and geoff & mia. it's pretty obvious that the men are making an effort to not rock the boat and get to know each other and the women are helping with conversation segues and bump-smoothers. thankfully, it goes okay, and by the time chris & i leave for a night out, there's a subtle sigh of relief on both camps that things are pretty okay. apparently, i was the one that was the most uncomfortable and was perceiving more of a problem then there was.
next day: dad still in the ER but in okay condition, but he has some kind of rupture/etc. that has to be surgically repaired. poor dad. mom, the trooper, at the hospital with him. me in emotional crisis. brother and boyfriend adjusting. yick. but, all of us, sans mom & dad, get some beautiful beach time. we all vacate the condo after awhile. it seems that everything has been so up and down and may settle any way.
that night: i'm driving home, and chris & i get lost TWICE. stupid delaware. delaware sucks. oh. and i get a ticket. $110. stupid delaware. it takes FOUR AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME. we don't get back until 2AM.
this caps off the most emotionally roller-coaster-istic summer in my life. *parting* ways with a roommate, no job, finding a new place, doing a lot of the moving mostly myself, getting a job and finding out less than 10 minutes later that my grandpa had passed away, the most amazing relationship moment in my life, this vacation.
whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
right?
8.07.2006
LOTS of things
is it too early to hate the redskins?
i am so exhausted. the past five weeks have been brutal, and the proverbial emotional rollercoaster almost ran off the tracks. fyi-i hate cliches. anyway, i'm completely moved, although i still have boxes of crap in my living room. i have a full-time job now: say hello to Mt. Carmel Elem's newest English teacher. look out, 7th graders! that was a very strange morning.
OLMC Elem's principal called me at 8:30 to tell me i'd gotten the job. i was ecstatic, and i called my parents. my dad answers, and i know immediately that something's wrong. then he told me that my grandpa had died earlier that morning. it had to have been not too long before my call because otherwise he would have called me. so within the space of ten minutes, i had gone from jumping up and down to crumpled on the floor. it's so strange.
one thing that i'm grateful for is my upcoming trip to the beach. God knows that i need a serious vacation. He already knows what i need before i do and comes through in spades.
in that vein, i feel a need to break open a bottle of champagne. or, on my budget of $0, a bottle of arbor mist. i don't think i've felt this way in years, and i'm so excited. revelations and vulnerabilities are so hard to come by, and the moment another person lets you in, you realize that your world has been changing. we picture pivotal moments and fairy tale words, but nothing ever happens the way we rehearse it in our heads. that makes it so much better.
at the moment, any pollock painting is pretty representative of my life right now, and it probably won't make much more sense anytime soon. but that's okay.
he colors it beautiful.
i am so exhausted. the past five weeks have been brutal, and the proverbial emotional rollercoaster almost ran off the tracks. fyi-i hate cliches. anyway, i'm completely moved, although i still have boxes of crap in my living room. i have a full-time job now: say hello to Mt. Carmel Elem's newest English teacher. look out, 7th graders! that was a very strange morning.
OLMC Elem's principal called me at 8:30 to tell me i'd gotten the job. i was ecstatic, and i called my parents. my dad answers, and i know immediately that something's wrong. then he told me that my grandpa had died earlier that morning. it had to have been not too long before my call because otherwise he would have called me. so within the space of ten minutes, i had gone from jumping up and down to crumpled on the floor. it's so strange.
one thing that i'm grateful for is my upcoming trip to the beach. God knows that i need a serious vacation. He already knows what i need before i do and comes through in spades.
in that vein, i feel a need to break open a bottle of champagne. or, on my budget of $0, a bottle of arbor mist. i don't think i've felt this way in years, and i'm so excited. revelations and vulnerabilities are so hard to come by, and the moment another person lets you in, you realize that your world has been changing. we picture pivotal moments and fairy tale words, but nothing ever happens the way we rehearse it in our heads. that makes it so much better.
at the moment, any pollock painting is pretty representative of my life right now, and it probably won't make much more sense anytime soon. but that's okay.
he colors it beautiful.
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