once again, i hijack kim's posts

i hope she doesn't mind...

i too have gym pet peeves. kim hits some of them on the head-yakking on the celly instead of working out (leave the damn thing in the locker!) and leaving half of your body weight in sweat form on the machines.

i have some other ones too, and a number of them stem from my freshman days at CCHS, when i was one of the few girls in the weight room.

1) for both sexes, stop trying to look pretty. the gym is not a pretty place. i get so annoyed by people who hog mirror space because they're more concerned about whether the fake eyelashes are sticking than if they're getting their lifting form right. do NOT reapply makeup in the gym, do NOT ogle yourself in the mirror so much that you're turned on, and do NOT wear such super skimpy clothes that do not function as workout wear and can really only be classified not as shorts but as rubber bands. get over yourself.

2) again, for both sexes, quit trying to hit on people. if somebody is really there to workout, she is not going to be impressed by you giving yourself a hernia when you try to power lift 20x your own bodyweight. instead, she's going to think you're a moron. if someone asks for a spot, it's not an excuse to stare at her chest while she's trying to max out on bench. i hate you.

3) by now you're probably calling me the Gym Nazi, but quit with the inane yakking. if you're done with your set, get your ass off the machine and let other people rotate in. if you're just sitting there between sets and running your mouth while somebody else could be using the machine, you're just a waste of space.

4) super pet peeve, related to facilities with indoor tracks. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU'RE NOT RUNNING AT A GOOD CLIP, STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE INSIDE LANE! i hate you. this goes for any track of any sort. if you're on a track, and you hear "track" or some similar vocalization indicating a runner catching up to and about to pass you, this means that you, the slower individual, need to move to the right and let the faster person have the inside lane. granted, this can be a new rule for non-tracksters, but it's really not hard to learn. and please. don't bitch if somebody asks you to move. faster always has right of way. think of it this way--the faster cars always have the inside lane. ALWAYS.

***and trust me--hardcore athletes/runners will not be so nice to you if you consistently ignore their shouts. when i was on my high school's track team, the female distance runners were doing 400s at race pace, and the other runners were doing other stuff. now, EVERYBODY on the team knew that people doing speed workouts automatically have the right of way, and if you didn't haul ass out of their way, then it was your fault (it's harder for the faster moving object to come to a stop or adjust trajectory--SIMPLE FREAKIN PHYSICS, you jabronis!!!). anyway, i was on my last lap, looking to come in under 80sec. and some of the asshole distance guys were basically parked in lane one. i yelled repeatedly to clear the lane, and while most of the guys moved, one jackass in particular just stood there with his arms folded. so i did what any woman in my position had to do.

i clocked him and literally ran him over so that i could get to the finish.

of course, he got wrapped around the axle about it and was screaming at me and wanted the coaches to punish me or whatever. coach boyer simply looked at him and said, "you were in the way. too bad."


so, the morals of the story are:

1) fashion is not the #1 priority in the gym,
2) sex happens outSIDE of the gym, so don't even think about talking to me,
3) shut up, focus on your workout and stop taking up space,
4) don't get in my way unless you want to eat track.