apparently, my esotericism is my undoing.
*sigh*
7.30.2007
mine muse doth provoketh me...eth.
i now have a muse. self-appointed, but thoughtful and enlightened nonetheless.
once again, this evening, Muse and i ventured into philosophical territories and found ourselves involved in a discourse on the profundities of knowledge of others. this doesn't mean, "ooh, ooh, i know kevin bacon!" what we were exploring was a foundational understanding of who a person is at his or her core. this conversation was going well, and then Muse posed the view that it is unimportant that another person knows every piece and every facet of oneself. if the self has the details, what else does the self need? (i hope that i correctly represented Muse's point of view... if i'm inaccurate, i'll personally resign from my position in the government of the small latin american country that Muse rules during leisure hours)
anyway, upon reflection, i realized that not only am i unsatisfied with that supposition, but i am also displeased with my initial response. here is my second offering, which i hope to be more enlightening and intellectually annoying:
to get to the relational core of the issue, it's edifying to look at the subject in the context of love. (yes, here i go again. deal with it.) of course, we're wielding the very weighty connotations and the more elusive denotations of "love" and "knowledge" in this conversation, and we're also assuming that we can enact this emotion or state of being or what have you with as complete an understanding as we can. we have to remind ourselves of the fluidity of these consuming concepts as we put forth our arguments. but i digress.
is it not an essential piece of love, to know the beloved on such an elevated plane of intimacy? isn't it part of love's nature to continuously evolve in the knowledge of every aspect of the beloved's being? what is the nature of this knowledge? what form does it take? isn't a manifestation and in fact the lifeblood of knowledge the communication of itself, thus feeding and growing the connection[s] between the lover and the beloved? it's an endless investigation, and in love, there is the inherent desire to be known. the withholding of knowledge, and indeed the lack of interest in it, is often seen as a breach of the bond of love itself.
thus, my ultimate question:
if another's such knowledge is deemed unimportant and nonessential for oneself, is it at all possible to genuinely participate in something so intrinsically communal as love?
once again, this evening, Muse and i ventured into philosophical territories and found ourselves involved in a discourse on the profundities of knowledge of others. this doesn't mean, "ooh, ooh, i know kevin bacon!" what we were exploring was a foundational understanding of who a person is at his or her core. this conversation was going well, and then Muse posed the view that it is unimportant that another person knows every piece and every facet of oneself. if the self has the details, what else does the self need? (i hope that i correctly represented Muse's point of view... if i'm inaccurate, i'll personally resign from my position in the government of the small latin american country that Muse rules during leisure hours)
anyway, upon reflection, i realized that not only am i unsatisfied with that supposition, but i am also displeased with my initial response. here is my second offering, which i hope to be more enlightening and intellectually annoying:
to get to the relational core of the issue, it's edifying to look at the subject in the context of love. (yes, here i go again. deal with it.) of course, we're wielding the very weighty connotations and the more elusive denotations of "love" and "knowledge" in this conversation, and we're also assuming that we can enact this emotion or state of being or what have you with as complete an understanding as we can. we have to remind ourselves of the fluidity of these consuming concepts as we put forth our arguments. but i digress.
is it not an essential piece of love, to know the beloved on such an elevated plane of intimacy? isn't it part of love's nature to continuously evolve in the knowledge of every aspect of the beloved's being? what is the nature of this knowledge? what form does it take? isn't a manifestation and in fact the lifeblood of knowledge the communication of itself, thus feeding and growing the connection[s] between the lover and the beloved? it's an endless investigation, and in love, there is the inherent desire to be known. the withholding of knowledge, and indeed the lack of interest in it, is often seen as a breach of the bond of love itself.
thus, my ultimate question:
if another's such knowledge is deemed unimportant and nonessential for oneself, is it at all possible to genuinely participate in something so intrinsically communal as love?
7.28.2007
mileage (pt. 1) + nature
despite last night's insomnia, i was able to do a good little run on the NCR trail. note to self: don't run at 1PM when the heat index is over 90-some degrees. the shade was a god-send. anyway, i had a little issue with cramping and breathing due to the humidity, but i did an easy 20 minutes. i have no clue how far i went, as i didn't pay attention to the markers, but whatever. my L leg is still annoying me, but it wasn't so bad that i had to stop; i just slowed down until i was comfortable. now's time for an ice bath. yee haw!
i took plenty of time after running to stretch and relax in the shade, and while i was doing so, a sizeable black and yellow butterfly fluttered by and landed on a bush right next to me. then a female cardinal flew back and forth between the trees nearby. plenty of other birds, as well as a number of insects, were chiming in, and a breeze was blowing small leaves across the tops of the high grasses. even though this was very close to Paper Mill Rd, you really wouldn't notice it because it was serene and quiet. this is one reason why i love running: the unending nurturing of appreciation for the life and beauty around you.
i took plenty of time after running to stretch and relax in the shade, and while i was doing so, a sizeable black and yellow butterfly fluttered by and landed on a bush right next to me. then a female cardinal flew back and forth between the trees nearby. plenty of other birds, as well as a number of insects, were chiming in, and a breeze was blowing small leaves across the tops of the high grasses. even though this was very close to Paper Mill Rd, you really wouldn't notice it because it was serene and quiet. this is one reason why i love running: the unending nurturing of appreciation for the life and beauty around you.
mileage and insomnia
this has been a poor week, mileage-wise. i'd overdone it with that wicked biking/running on sunday, so consequently i took monday and tuesday off to rest my very sore legs. then, wednesday, i got hit with a fever, which didn't break until thursday night. thus, i didn't get to train again until today. initially, it was a bit aggravating, but, thanks to brendan [h], i stopped worrying and just relaxed. sure enough, today's was a great workout. i just did 20 laps (1000m-0.6 miles) in the pool without stopping. sure, i won't have walls for push-off in the river (duh), but i'm still glad that i could manage it. i'm also very pleased because i figured out one reason why i'd been having trouble with freestyle; my breathing rhythm was off. it was much better once i fixed it, and even though it's still not very strong, it could still help me come race morning.
which, by the way, is only FIFTEEN DAYS AWAY. yikes. but yikes in a very good way. and funny thing--not only has laurie offered her good bike for me to borrow, but the shop was in fact able to fix my bike. from a dearth to a plethora. weird how that works.
and i can't sleep. it's weird. i haven't slept soundly this entire week, and tonight is the worst. i went to bed pretty tired at 10-ish and woke up at 12:30AM. i've been awake ever since. it's not all bad. haven't had warm milk to drink in awhile, and that's pretty yum. okay, that's weird, but whatever. i also have had time to relax and think about a few things like priorities and goals. i'm also creating something new: a life list of races/places to run. so far, i have the valley of fire [half] marathon*, the empire state building run-up, the army 10, the celtic solstice (here in dru hill park), the village of mata-solana (spain), and, by far the coolest on the list yet, THE GREAT WALL MARATHON. yes, that great wall. like i said, this is a life list, and it's bound to grow and shrink as the years go by. but i'm determined to enjoy life as much as possible, and adventure running is one of the best ways to do that!
*i'm bagging valley of fire for this year due to $$$ and the fact that i'll never be given the extra day off that i need. suck.
oh, and brendan [c] wants me to add the Death Valley marathon. that boy is insane. but if he dares me, i'll probably do it. i'm dumb that way.
which, by the way, is only FIFTEEN DAYS AWAY. yikes. but yikes in a very good way. and funny thing--not only has laurie offered her good bike for me to borrow, but the shop was in fact able to fix my bike. from a dearth to a plethora. weird how that works.
and i can't sleep. it's weird. i haven't slept soundly this entire week, and tonight is the worst. i went to bed pretty tired at 10-ish and woke up at 12:30AM. i've been awake ever since. it's not all bad. haven't had warm milk to drink in awhile, and that's pretty yum. okay, that's weird, but whatever. i also have had time to relax and think about a few things like priorities and goals. i'm also creating something new: a life list of races/places to run. so far, i have the valley of fire [half] marathon*, the empire state building run-up, the army 10, the celtic solstice (here in dru hill park), the village of mata-solana (spain), and, by far the coolest on the list yet, THE GREAT WALL MARATHON. yes, that great wall. like i said, this is a life list, and it's bound to grow and shrink as the years go by. but i'm determined to enjoy life as much as possible, and adventure running is one of the best ways to do that!
*i'm bagging valley of fire for this year due to $$$ and the fact that i'll never be given the extra day off that i need. suck.
oh, and brendan [c] wants me to add the Death Valley marathon. that boy is insane. but if he dares me, i'll probably do it. i'm dumb that way.
:)
7.23.2007
iPod game, modified
so here's the idea. i'll post some lyrics from songs that are shuffling on my iPod right now. if you can guess ALL ten songs and the artists correctly, you'll get a prize. a gold star or something. or points. we'll see how good your answers are. here it goes:
1. Shine through times with rhymes bright like yellow
Taste and swallow, lead and never follow,
Break it like a bottle
2. I was the pirate, she was the queen
Sir Francis and Elizabeth, the best there's ever been
Then she strolled past my table and stopped at the stairs
Then sent me a smile as she reached for Flaubert
3. hard one--Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone (hint: *cow bell*)
4. Well, I'm standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see (i've actually been to Winslow, AZ)
5. You run your finger round the rim of his glass
You run your fingers through his hair
They scratch across his back
6. give source of the dialogue & the name of the song after it:
I love you, Pumpkin... I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
Any of you fucking pricks move,
And I'll execute every mother-fucking last one of you!
7. We're blessed with the force and the sight of electronics
With the bass, and the treble, the horns and our vocals
8. I think of us someplace
High on a mountain
Smoke clears
Fog lifts
Little by little
We'll rebuild again
9. If you're alive at thirty-three
And you're turning tricks
With your crucifix.
You're a star, oh child.
10. Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed I'd love somebody like you
there you go. you'll get extra points and gold stars and possibly the prize behind Door 3 if you can make a conjecture about my personality based on the songs above.
***i was told that this (as originally posted on my myspace blog) was ridiculously hard. in deference to the individual who castigated me, i'll list in random order the artists so that you can match things up.
U2, Jimmy Buffett, the Eagles, Pulp Fiction, Jurassic 5, Chris Isaak(s?), Rage Against the Machine, Wallflowers, Blue Oyster Cult, Dire Straits
the exhortation to decipher a piece of my personality still stands. now have at it!
1. Shine through times with rhymes bright like yellow
Taste and swallow, lead and never follow,
Break it like a bottle
2. I was the pirate, she was the queen
Sir Francis and Elizabeth, the best there's ever been
Then she strolled past my table and stopped at the stairs
Then sent me a smile as she reached for Flaubert
3. hard one--Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone (hint: *cow bell*)
4. Well, I'm standing on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see (i've actually been to Winslow, AZ)
5. You run your finger round the rim of his glass
You run your fingers through his hair
They scratch across his back
6. give source of the dialogue & the name of the song after it:
I love you, Pumpkin... I love you, Honey Bunny.
Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
Any of you fucking pricks move,
And I'll execute every mother-fucking last one of you!
7. We're blessed with the force and the sight of electronics
With the bass, and the treble, the horns and our vocals
8. I think of us someplace
High on a mountain
Smoke clears
Fog lifts
Little by little
We'll rebuild again
9. If you're alive at thirty-three
And you're turning tricks
With your crucifix.
You're a star, oh child.
10. Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed I'd love somebody like you
there you go. you'll get extra points and gold stars and possibly the prize behind Door 3 if you can make a conjecture about my personality based on the songs above.
***i was told that this (as originally posted on my myspace blog) was ridiculously hard. in deference to the individual who castigated me, i'll list in random order the artists so that you can match things up.
U2, Jimmy Buffett, the Eagles, Pulp Fiction, Jurassic 5, Chris Isaak(s?), Rage Against the Machine, Wallflowers, Blue Oyster Cult, Dire Straits
the exhortation to decipher a piece of my personality still stands. now have at it!
7.22.2007
excessive mileage, for which brendan [H] must be punished
i love the hanraman. but my ass has officially put a hit out on him. see, brendan has been the most wonderful and helpful unofficial coach that i could have ever asked for, and he has provided me with hints, tips and workouts that will really help me go the distance.
that said, my legs now want to destroy him. here's the workout:
5 miles bike, 1 mile run.
do three times.
seriously, it's harder than it sounds. it took me ~2 hours to do the whole damn thing. and i just got out of a 20 minute ice bath and am parked on this recliner because i'm too tired and/or sore to move.
brendan had better hope i survive this stupid triathlon...
;)
that said, my legs now want to destroy him. here's the workout:
5 miles bike, 1 mile run.
do three times.
seriously, it's harder than it sounds. it took me ~2 hours to do the whole damn thing. and i just got out of a 20 minute ice bath and am parked on this recliner because i'm too tired and/or sore to move.
brendan had better hope i survive this stupid triathlon...
;)
7.20.2007
7.19.2007
another survey from kim
50 Questions: From Kim's blog, from Lisa's myspace.
1. Story behind your MySpace song? i just like steve miller band
2. What's bothering you right now? my R hamstring
3. Do you close the door when you pee? not discussing personal hygiene habits. eww.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
4. Wallet? crimson
5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? savage chickens' thoreau cartoon
6. Background on your cell phone? an extreme close-up of toby
7. Jewelry worn daily? usually a watch, maybe earrings
8. Where was your default picture was taken? years ago, at a conference track meet
9. Eyes: 'oceany' blue :)
10. Life: messy but in a good way
11. House: it's not--it's an apartment. but it's relaxed and comfortable.
WHAT ARE YOU...
12. Doing this weekend? running, swimming, seeing 'transformers', reading, probably doing something w/ brian and probably rom too
13. Wearing? long brown shorts and baller t-shirt
14. Wanting? deep tissue massage
15. Where are you? at home
16. Listening to? DDT (jurassic 5)
17. Have you ever kissed anyone named brittney? No.
18. What do you smell like? me
19. Eating? nope
20. What is your favorite thing? words
21. Do you believe in a soul mate? if there is such a thing, i haven't met mine yet. no rush.
23. Do you remember your dreams? mostly
24. Do you believe dreams come true? yeah. only catch is that you have to make the real ones come true on your own. those are the best kind.
25. Do you believe in miracles? yeah
26. Do you burn easily in the sun? once in the summer, and then i'm okay for the rest of the season
27. Do you speak another language other than English? bits and pieces of spanish, french and russian
28. What's something you wish you could understand better? human nature
29. What did you do last weekend? ran with the truffers, and i don't really remember the rest, aside from picking brian up from the airport
30. Who do you miss? nobody in particular right now
31. Have you ever been in a talent show? nope
32. Orange or apple juice? orange
33. Do you like the person who took this survey before you? yeah :)
34. What was the last text message you received? corey about passing his boards
35. Last text message you sent? 'congrats!' to corey
37. What is the closest thing to you that is blue? my baller shirt
38. What was the last thing you ate? subway club
39. Last person you hugged? my dad
40. Whose house did you go to last night? my parents'
41. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? my dad (a LONG time ago)
42. Do you like someone right now? well, hopefully a bunch of people. otherwise i'd be pretty alone and miserable.
43. What do you wear more, shorts, jeans or sweatpants? summer--shorts; fall & spring--jeans; winter--sweats
44. What is the last movie you watched? tristan & isolde
45. Have you ever punched a baby? que the hell?!
46. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? thrift store
47. Xbox 360 or NFL game tickets? NFL game tickets (preferably eagles or ravens).
48. Do you believe that you can change someone? nope
49. Who was the last person to make you laugh? collective effort of dad & toby
50. Where will your next vacation be located? hopefully the Valley of Fire state park; other than that, i don't have $$$ to entertain the idea.
1. Story behind your MySpace song? i just like steve miller band
2. What's bothering you right now? my R hamstring
3. Do you close the door when you pee? not discussing personal hygiene habits. eww.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
4. Wallet? crimson
5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? savage chickens' thoreau cartoon
6. Background on your cell phone? an extreme close-up of toby
7. Jewelry worn daily? usually a watch, maybe earrings
8. Where was your default picture was taken? years ago, at a conference track meet
9. Eyes: 'oceany' blue :)
10. Life: messy but in a good way
11. House: it's not--it's an apartment. but it's relaxed and comfortable.
WHAT ARE YOU...
12. Doing this weekend? running, swimming, seeing 'transformers', reading, probably doing something w/ brian and probably rom too
13. Wearing? long brown shorts and baller t-shirt
14. Wanting? deep tissue massage
15. Where are you? at home
16. Listening to? DDT (jurassic 5)
17. Have you ever kissed anyone named brittney? No.
18. What do you smell like? me
19. Eating? nope
20. What is your favorite thing? words
21. Do you believe in a soul mate? if there is such a thing, i haven't met mine yet. no rush.
23. Do you remember your dreams? mostly
24. Do you believe dreams come true? yeah. only catch is that you have to make the real ones come true on your own. those are the best kind.
25. Do you believe in miracles? yeah
26. Do you burn easily in the sun? once in the summer, and then i'm okay for the rest of the season
27. Do you speak another language other than English? bits and pieces of spanish, french and russian
28. What's something you wish you could understand better? human nature
29. What did you do last weekend? ran with the truffers, and i don't really remember the rest, aside from picking brian up from the airport
30. Who do you miss? nobody in particular right now
31. Have you ever been in a talent show? nope
32. Orange or apple juice? orange
33. Do you like the person who took this survey before you? yeah :)
34. What was the last text message you received? corey about passing his boards
35. Last text message you sent? 'congrats!' to corey
37. What is the closest thing to you that is blue? my baller shirt
38. What was the last thing you ate? subway club
39. Last person you hugged? my dad
40. Whose house did you go to last night? my parents'
41. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? my dad (a LONG time ago)
42. Do you like someone right now? well, hopefully a bunch of people. otherwise i'd be pretty alone and miserable.
43. What do you wear more, shorts, jeans or sweatpants? summer--shorts; fall & spring--jeans; winter--sweats
44. What is the last movie you watched? tristan & isolde
45. Have you ever punched a baby? que the hell?!
46. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? thrift store
47. Xbox 360 or NFL game tickets? NFL game tickets (preferably eagles or ravens).
48. Do you believe that you can change someone? nope
49. Who was the last person to make you laugh? collective effort of dad & toby
50. Where will your next vacation be located? hopefully the Valley of Fire state park; other than that, i don't have $$$ to entertain the idea.
7.18.2007
7.17.2007
a bike, a bike! my kingdom for a bike! oh, and some mileage too...
still no word on the bike front. still have some time though.
today i did my first swim/bike/run workout. i only did half the distances, just so that i wouldn't kill myself, but it turned out fine. my goal is to make sure that my body can be active for 3 straight hours because i'm estimating that that's the least amount of time i'll need to finish. today, i spent 1 hr, 15 min working out, broken down this way:
a) swim: 20 min (675m--race will be 1000m)
b) bike: 35 min (5-ish miles--race will be 14.5)
c) run: 20 min (1.7 miles--race will be 2.8)
today was the first day that the gym's pool was open, and i'm thrilled. two surprises: water was very chlorine-y, so it was pretty murky, and they hadn't set the temperature yet, so it was 70 degrees, if that. diving in was fairly odd; it certainly didn't feel like a real pool, and i had no concept of where the bottom was (10' deep, so i wasn't in danger of hitting my head or anything). i'd forgotten my goggles, so my eyes were closed (*contacts*), and it just felt... weird, a little disorienting even. but, all of that is actually good because the susquehanna river is not a hot spring. i'll be happy to not have to swim through an oil slick. but anyway. i alternated strokes, which was really helpful, and overall, i'm very pleased with the swim.
i expected to be tired on the bike but not as much as i was. more surprising, i didn't really recover much, even though i was taking it easy. it was the longest 35 minutes ever. bleh.
the run was far better, and i was taken aback when my second wind came then. i figured that, by then, my body would have had enough and would want to just stop. maybe it's because i was the most conservative there; i wanted to try to do the whole 20 minutes, instead of trying to be fast and crapping out at 10. also, maybe i was able to do it because i did give myself an out. i told myself that, if i start to feel shitty and/or achy and/or in pain, i will stop. i don't want to hurt myself trying to be a hero a month before the race. there's no need. knowing that i could step back if i needed to helped me slowly put one foot in front of the other.
all in all, it was probably one of the hardest workouts i've ever done because i haven't done anything like it. it hasn't made me feel the most awful, but the combination of disciplines and the constant (well, relatively) movement was quite challenging. that said, now that i've finished this one, i know that i can do another one. i am so excited for this triathlon!
now all i need is a bike...
today i did my first swim/bike/run workout. i only did half the distances, just so that i wouldn't kill myself, but it turned out fine. my goal is to make sure that my body can be active for 3 straight hours because i'm estimating that that's the least amount of time i'll need to finish. today, i spent 1 hr, 15 min working out, broken down this way:
a) swim: 20 min (675m--race will be 1000m)
b) bike: 35 min (5-ish miles--race will be 14.5)
c) run: 20 min (1.7 miles--race will be 2.8)
today was the first day that the gym's pool was open, and i'm thrilled. two surprises: water was very chlorine-y, so it was pretty murky, and they hadn't set the temperature yet, so it was 70 degrees, if that. diving in was fairly odd; it certainly didn't feel like a real pool, and i had no concept of where the bottom was (10' deep, so i wasn't in danger of hitting my head or anything). i'd forgotten my goggles, so my eyes were closed (*contacts*), and it just felt... weird, a little disorienting even. but, all of that is actually good because the susquehanna river is not a hot spring. i'll be happy to not have to swim through an oil slick. but anyway. i alternated strokes, which was really helpful, and overall, i'm very pleased with the swim.
i expected to be tired on the bike but not as much as i was. more surprising, i didn't really recover much, even though i was taking it easy. it was the longest 35 minutes ever. bleh.
the run was far better, and i was taken aback when my second wind came then. i figured that, by then, my body would have had enough and would want to just stop. maybe it's because i was the most conservative there; i wanted to try to do the whole 20 minutes, instead of trying to be fast and crapping out at 10. also, maybe i was able to do it because i did give myself an out. i told myself that, if i start to feel shitty and/or achy and/or in pain, i will stop. i don't want to hurt myself trying to be a hero a month before the race. there's no need. knowing that i could step back if i needed to helped me slowly put one foot in front of the other.
all in all, it was probably one of the hardest workouts i've ever done because i haven't done anything like it. it hasn't made me feel the most awful, but the combination of disciplines and the constant (well, relatively) movement was quite challenging. that said, now that i've finished this one, i know that i can do another one. i am so excited for this triathlon!
now all i need is a bike...
7.14.2007
mileage with the truffers and reflections on my grandfather
it was so nice to have new running partners and new scenery this morning. we wound our way around mt. airy, and it was quite pretty, if not very hilly. the weather cooperated as well, with lots of sun and refreshing breezes. we ran around 56 or so minutes, and, as we took a turn that erika originally didn't intend to make, i'm not sure how far we actually ran. perhaps 4 1/2 miles? i think that's what was decided.
i'm so glad that i took yesterday off. i'm no longer feeling like junk, and i look forward to tomorrow's swim+bike workout. however, i am not looking forward to this wednesday. my dad and i are running the harrisburg mile. normally, that's a fun, great race. but my grandfather passed away on the race day last year. dad had signed up but didn't want to do it, but my mom insisted, saying that grandpa would be pissed if we didn't do the things we enjoy on account of him. so dad and my uncle did it together, and it was so good for them both. this year, my dad and i plan on running it in memory of grandpa (he was there to cheer me on at xc and track meets as often as he could), and i don't know how i'm going to hold up. i'm already in tears right now, in part because i can't believe that it's been a year. grandpa and i were very close, and i'm so thankful to have been a part of his life. also, seeing my dad struggling and in tears just rips me apart; last year, i could barely handle the fact that my father was in so much pain. i think that, as a defense against inner collapse, he allowed his military face take over, and while he did cry and everything, he held so much inside. but i know my dad better than that. i do know that grandpa would smack us both for being so sad, and what lifts me from the grief is this memory of him from a few years ago. he had this bucket had that he wore everywhere, and he had this sort of really goofy grin that he'd show when he wanted to be silly. my grandpa wasn't much for showing his emotions at all, but when he did, it was fantastic. remembering him in that hat always makes me laugh; that's how i want him to stay.
i miss him.
i'm so glad that i took yesterday off. i'm no longer feeling like junk, and i look forward to tomorrow's swim+bike workout. however, i am not looking forward to this wednesday. my dad and i are running the harrisburg mile. normally, that's a fun, great race. but my grandfather passed away on the race day last year. dad had signed up but didn't want to do it, but my mom insisted, saying that grandpa would be pissed if we didn't do the things we enjoy on account of him. so dad and my uncle did it together, and it was so good for them both. this year, my dad and i plan on running it in memory of grandpa (he was there to cheer me on at xc and track meets as often as he could), and i don't know how i'm going to hold up. i'm already in tears right now, in part because i can't believe that it's been a year. grandpa and i were very close, and i'm so thankful to have been a part of his life. also, seeing my dad struggling and in tears just rips me apart; last year, i could barely handle the fact that my father was in so much pain. i think that, as a defense against inner collapse, he allowed his military face take over, and while he did cry and everything, he held so much inside. but i know my dad better than that. i do know that grandpa would smack us both for being so sad, and what lifts me from the grief is this memory of him from a few years ago. he had this bucket had that he wore everywhere, and he had this sort of really goofy grin that he'd show when he wanted to be silly. my grandpa wasn't much for showing his emotions at all, but when he did, it was fantastic. remembering him in that hat always makes me laugh; that's how i want him to stay.
i miss him.
7.13.2007
yesterday's mileage
swam yesterday, and i'm very pleased because i went for the whole 35 minutes, whether or not it was the actual workout lengths. ended up doing 24 lengths of free + breaststroke, 16 lengths of sidestroke for warm-up & cool-down, and 20 lengths of random, just to keep moving. i also did 5 minutes of treading water, just to make sure i could in case i had issues and would need to rest during the tri. woo! i'm very pleased with the workout, although my R ear started to ache. i have to be really careful because i do NOT want an infection. i'm also a little concerned because i've been going for long periods without eating lately. i know i'm burning a bunch of calories, but i haven't felt hungry at all. i checked online, and apparently i should be consuming 2600 cals a day. i know that's not happening at all. that can't be good. don't know why this is happening...
i am tired and feeling like junk today. thank goodness that today's a rest day. that's a relief.
i am tired and feeling like junk today. thank goodness that today's a rest day. that's a relief.
7.12.2007
i am truly shocked, appalled and throwing up in my mouth...
the morons at merriam-webster are once again doing their utmost to make us into a nation of unedimicated idiots. if you haven't read the article i've linked, they've carried out their annual up-date to the collegiate (collegiate!!!) dictionary, and they've decided to include words such as "ginormous," "crunk," and "smackdown." some of their past additions--"mouse potato," "soul patch," "drama queen," "unibrow," "bling bling," and "himbo."
are you kidding me?! i'm sure that murray and the members of the 19th century philological society of london (originators of the Oxford English Dictionary--the only *true* dictionary in my mind) are turning in their graves. the editors of m-w are appropriating slang and pop culture vocabulary, asserting that they're part of the standard american english lexicon. ironically, **by definition**, slang must stand outside the formal language! and, as is the nature of slang, the words fall out of use anyway. when was the last time we all said "bling bling"? anybody who doesn't live under a rock knows that it's been shortened, and even then, as fashions trends have evolved, it's a bit passe to be covered in the glitter. to flaunt one's wealth so overtly is now seen as a bit gauche. why can't we perpetuate the use of such vocabulary as passe (sorry, i can't figure out how to create an accented e) and gauche?! no wonder the verbal SAT scores suck these days...
the editors of m-w are debasing the effort to encourage a more learned vocabulary, one that then fosters more sophisticated and respected discourse in all fields. when i taught at UMD, i required that a student remove "vanilla" from his paper. while the word may be appropriate for creative fiction/poetry or perhaps even a study on popular culture, it is *not* fitting for a cost/benefit analysis of genetically modified crops. "that tomato crop is so vanilla" doesn't wash in scholarly and professional discourse.
i would say that the words soon to be admitted in the so-called "collegiate" dictionary should be relegated to a slang dictionary, as their use is so ephemeral, and students should be taught and required to use a more formal vocabulary in their daily work. side note--that's also a useful tactic in generally alleviating constant swearing; requiring a student choose another word to express his or her feelings often results in he or she finding more appropriate (and often more specific and interesting) phrases.
if m-w is going to adhere to and defend this practice, they ought not purport to be a scholarly representation of our lexicon. that is simply misleading and unprofessional. i'll just have to protest in my own little ways, to include general disdain and scathing mockery.
OED represent!
*this post also seen as bulletin on my myspace page.
are you kidding me?! i'm sure that murray and the members of the 19th century philological society of london (originators of the Oxford English Dictionary--the only *true* dictionary in my mind) are turning in their graves. the editors of m-w are appropriating slang and pop culture vocabulary, asserting that they're part of the standard american english lexicon. ironically, **by definition**, slang must stand outside the formal language! and, as is the nature of slang, the words fall out of use anyway. when was the last time we all said "bling bling"? anybody who doesn't live under a rock knows that it's been shortened, and even then, as fashions trends have evolved, it's a bit passe to be covered in the glitter. to flaunt one's wealth so overtly is now seen as a bit gauche. why can't we perpetuate the use of such vocabulary as passe (sorry, i can't figure out how to create an accented e) and gauche?! no wonder the verbal SAT scores suck these days...
the editors of m-w are debasing the effort to encourage a more learned vocabulary, one that then fosters more sophisticated and respected discourse in all fields. when i taught at UMD, i required that a student remove "vanilla" from his paper. while the word may be appropriate for creative fiction/poetry or perhaps even a study on popular culture, it is *not* fitting for a cost/benefit analysis of genetically modified crops. "that tomato crop is so vanilla" doesn't wash in scholarly and professional discourse.
i would say that the words soon to be admitted in the so-called "collegiate" dictionary should be relegated to a slang dictionary, as their use is so ephemeral, and students should be taught and required to use a more formal vocabulary in their daily work. side note--that's also a useful tactic in generally alleviating constant swearing; requiring a student choose another word to express his or her feelings often results in he or she finding more appropriate (and often more specific and interesting) phrases.
if m-w is going to adhere to and defend this practice, they ought not purport to be a scholarly representation of our lexicon. that is simply misleading and unprofessional. i'll just have to protest in my own little ways, to include general disdain and scathing mockery.
OED represent!
*this post also seen as bulletin on my myspace page.
7.11.2007
mileage + technical difficulties and new wounds
:D
first, yesterday's work. swim: 32 lengths, alternating freestyle & breaststroke. form and breathing has vastly improved, and i am much more confident. as a result, i'm that much more excited.
now today. i'm typing this without using my R middle finger... because i punctured it. but i'll get to that in a sec. bike: 85 min, B&A/BWI trails, from marley station mall to the airport and back.
THAT RIDE WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! reasons why:
1) longest ride i've ever done
2) most scenic, in terms of buildings, people, AIRPLANES
3) airplanes were landing and taking off over me. coooooooooooooool! (you can tell i'm a pilot's daughter because i think that's cooooooooooooooooool)
4) spoke with other cyclists along the way; neat comradery (sp?).
5) i am more proficient at trouble-shooting than i thought.
#5--i was riding along dorsey road and went to change gears when i heard a loud snap. the one lever had lost its control, but it didn't cause any immediate danger. i just couldn't use all ten speeds. once i'd reached my turn-around time at 42:30, i dismounted and checked it. as it turns out, the one gear cable had snapped. it is an older bike, so the cable was rusted in two places, and i think that it'd just reached its breaking point. FYI, don't go to In-Gear cycling in annville, pa; we paid those guys to clean up the bike, replace old, worn-out parts. seems they didn't. anyway, i was able to get back to the car, figure out the problem, and poke around. that's when my hand slipped, and my finger met something sharp on the bike. it's a relatively deep puncture, but it's been cleaned and bandaged, so i'm not too worried. i just have to clean it every morning, as these types of wounds are more prone to infection than lacerations. my goal is to not have a gangrenous finger.
I LOVED THIS RIDE!!!!!!!!!!
first, yesterday's work. swim: 32 lengths, alternating freestyle & breaststroke. form and breathing has vastly improved, and i am much more confident. as a result, i'm that much more excited.
now today. i'm typing this without using my R middle finger... because i punctured it. but i'll get to that in a sec. bike: 85 min, B&A/BWI trails, from marley station mall to the airport and back.
THAT RIDE WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! reasons why:
1) longest ride i've ever done
2) most scenic, in terms of buildings, people, AIRPLANES
3) airplanes were landing and taking off over me. coooooooooooooool! (you can tell i'm a pilot's daughter because i think that's cooooooooooooooooool)
4) spoke with other cyclists along the way; neat comradery (sp?).
5) i am more proficient at trouble-shooting than i thought.
#5--i was riding along dorsey road and went to change gears when i heard a loud snap. the one lever had lost its control, but it didn't cause any immediate danger. i just couldn't use all ten speeds. once i'd reached my turn-around time at 42:30, i dismounted and checked it. as it turns out, the one gear cable had snapped. it is an older bike, so the cable was rusted in two places, and i think that it'd just reached its breaking point. FYI, don't go to In-Gear cycling in annville, pa; we paid those guys to clean up the bike, replace old, worn-out parts. seems they didn't. anyway, i was able to get back to the car, figure out the problem, and poke around. that's when my hand slipped, and my finger met something sharp on the bike. it's a relatively deep puncture, but it's been cleaned and bandaged, so i'm not too worried. i just have to clean it every morning, as these types of wounds are more prone to infection than lacerations. my goal is to not have a gangrenous finger.
I LOVED THIS RIDE!!!!!!!!!!
7.10.2007
bank account alert: please read!
guys, please check your bank accounts to make sure they haven't been tampered with. i got a letter yesterday stating that an employee from a middleman company (i'll explain that in a second) stole massive amounts of consumer info (acct #s, names, addresses, d.o.b.s, etc.) and sold it. this company is called Certegy, and they go between businesses and your bank, cashing your checks, etc., and giving the $$$ back to the businesses. if you're information has been compromised, you should have received a letter from Certegy by now, but even so, please please please double check your $$$. of course, it's not like i have any for them to steal, but they can really fuck with my credit. just look out, okay?
"someone stole my identity. i feel sorry for them."
-t bone burnett
"someone stole my identity. i feel sorry for them."
-t bone burnett
7.08.2007
yikes, mileage
a stabbing in my neighborhood: yikes. anybody know positive ways to handle this sort of thing? i'm going to keep doing what i'm doing, with more care and an extra glance over my shoulder, etc., but any extra advice would help.
so that makes this feel a little superficial, but i don't want to be all paranoid and all that. anyway, i bagged the trail race i thought i'd want to do because my right leg woke me up in the middle of the night. instead, i went up to NCR and just did 35 minutes, easy. surprisingly, my legs felt very fresh. the weird part was that i felt as though i was carrying a 2x8 across my shoulders. seriously. after all that swimming, my shoulders feel so wide, and it definitely affected my arm carriage. but, it didn't take terribly long to get used to it, and i'll just be stretching a lot and get somebody to massage my back every so often. all said, i'm very excited for the triathlon. awesome.
so that makes this feel a little superficial, but i don't want to be all paranoid and all that. anyway, i bagged the trail race i thought i'd want to do because my right leg woke me up in the middle of the night. instead, i went up to NCR and just did 35 minutes, easy. surprisingly, my legs felt very fresh. the weird part was that i felt as though i was carrying a 2x8 across my shoulders. seriously. after all that swimming, my shoulders feel so wide, and it definitely affected my arm carriage. but, it didn't take terribly long to get used to it, and i'll just be stretching a lot and get somebody to massage my back every so often. all said, i'm very excited for the triathlon. awesome.
7.07.2007
pet peeve, mileage
okay, i know there are little racing machine enthusiasts all around. however, said machines are noisy and intrusive for those of us trying to relax in the comfort of our own home. instead of zipping them up and down the parking lot, disturbing a large number of residents, how about taking the little machine across the street to one of the extra target parking lots? how about at shoppers next door? what about the elementary school or park within a mile's drive? hmm? hmmmm? i wouldn't be terribly upset if the little machine was run over...
so i'm a little behind in my reporting, so we'll see if i can remember the past few days' workouts.
Thursday: short, 15 min. swim (felt good)
Friday: 70 min bike (@ gym b/c of the bad heat)
Today:
a) 25 min. swim (25 lengths, plus extra lengths for wm up & cl down)
b) 45 min. bike (@ gym again b/c of bad heat and humidity)
i'm feeling a lot more comfortable with my two strokes and my breathing. yeehaw! only thing is that i did the swim and bike so on top of each other, and having not done that before, i was not prepared for the exhaustion carrying over... however, i survived and survived well. i'm also learning how my body feels after swimming. not sure how to explain it. my shoulders are also... not bulking up, but the shoulder portions in my shirts are tighter. :( i can't afford new clothes! but, the shoulder thing is supposed to be a good sign, right?
right?
so i'm a little behind in my reporting, so we'll see if i can remember the past few days' workouts.
Thursday: short, 15 min. swim (felt good)
Friday: 70 min bike (@ gym b/c of the bad heat)
Today:
a) 25 min. swim (25 lengths, plus extra lengths for wm up & cl down)
b) 45 min. bike (@ gym again b/c of bad heat and humidity)
i'm feeling a lot more comfortable with my two strokes and my breathing. yeehaw! only thing is that i did the swim and bike so on top of each other, and having not done that before, i was not prepared for the exhaustion carrying over... however, i survived and survived well. i'm also learning how my body feels after swimming. not sure how to explain it. my shoulders are also... not bulking up, but the shoulder portions in my shirts are tighter. :( i can't afford new clothes! but, the shoulder thing is supposed to be a good sign, right?
right?
7.04.2007
bumps, heat, success, and mileage
so i am the legend of the fall. falls. many falls. toby and i went for a hike with cj, courtney, four of their friends, and three other dogs, and we were out for about an hour and a half. wouldn't you know though, that i can't go a whole year without him injuring me. such was the case on sunday when he pulled me down a hill, and i scraped up my left forearm. awesome, toby. awesome.monday, i attempted to make up for sunday's missed swim+bike workout by going for a run+bike combination. i had a good, short 20 minute run, but unfortunately, i was poorly hydrated and had eaten too close to workout time. consequently, i nearly passed out once i returned to the start. that was a tiny bit upsetting, but i worked hard, i tried, and that's that. at least i was able to do something.
yesterday's workout was much better, by far. a 30 minute swim was slated, and i did a ladder of lengths (not laps). i surprised myself because i was working so hard, but i completed it without numerous breaks. i took maybe two 1 minute breaks, a few 15 or 30 second breaks, and then the other recovery time was spent with the backstroke (or what passes for it, considering my experience). i did approximately 40 lengths (!) of the apt. pool, and that probably only translates to about 20 or 25 of a real pool. but, i still did it. yeehaw!!!!
today was the american visionary art museum's pet parade. i only heard about it because i'd accidentally left my radio alarm on, and npr did a short little blurb about it. so toby and i went to federal hill, and we had a blast. it'd take too long to describe it, so i'll just include a few pictures.
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
