it was so nice to have new running partners and new scenery this morning. we wound our way around mt. airy, and it was quite pretty, if not very hilly. the weather cooperated as well, with lots of sun and refreshing breezes. we ran around 56 or so minutes, and, as we took a turn that erika originally didn't intend to make, i'm not sure how far we actually ran. perhaps 4 1/2 miles? i think that's what was decided.
i'm so glad that i took yesterday off. i'm no longer feeling like junk, and i look forward to tomorrow's swim+bike workout. however, i am not looking forward to this wednesday. my dad and i are running the harrisburg mile. normally, that's a fun, great race. but my grandfather passed away on the race day last year. dad had signed up but didn't want to do it, but my mom insisted, saying that grandpa would be pissed if we didn't do the things we enjoy on account of him. so dad and my uncle did it together, and it was so good for them both. this year, my dad and i plan on running it in memory of grandpa (he was there to cheer me on at xc and track meets as often as he could), and i don't know how i'm going to hold up. i'm already in tears right now, in part because i can't believe that it's been a year. grandpa and i were very close, and i'm so thankful to have been a part of his life. also, seeing my dad struggling and in tears just rips me apart; last year, i could barely handle the fact that my father was in so much pain. i think that, as a defense against inner collapse, he allowed his military face take over, and while he did cry and everything, he held so much inside. but i know my dad better than that. i do know that grandpa would smack us both for being so sad, and what lifts me from the grief is this memory of him from a few years ago. he had this bucket had that he wore everywhere, and he had this sort of really goofy grin that he'd show when he wanted to be silly. my grandpa wasn't much for showing his emotions at all, but when he did, it was fantastic. remembering him in that hat always makes me laugh; that's how i want him to stay.
i miss him.
i'm so glad that i took yesterday off. i'm no longer feeling like junk, and i look forward to tomorrow's swim+bike workout. however, i am not looking forward to this wednesday. my dad and i are running the harrisburg mile. normally, that's a fun, great race. but my grandfather passed away on the race day last year. dad had signed up but didn't want to do it, but my mom insisted, saying that grandpa would be pissed if we didn't do the things we enjoy on account of him. so dad and my uncle did it together, and it was so good for them both. this year, my dad and i plan on running it in memory of grandpa (he was there to cheer me on at xc and track meets as often as he could), and i don't know how i'm going to hold up. i'm already in tears right now, in part because i can't believe that it's been a year. grandpa and i were very close, and i'm so thankful to have been a part of his life. also, seeing my dad struggling and in tears just rips me apart; last year, i could barely handle the fact that my father was in so much pain. i think that, as a defense against inner collapse, he allowed his military face take over, and while he did cry and everything, he held so much inside. but i know my dad better than that. i do know that grandpa would smack us both for being so sad, and what lifts me from the grief is this memory of him from a few years ago. he had this bucket had that he wore everywhere, and he had this sort of really goofy grin that he'd show when he wanted to be silly. my grandpa wasn't much for showing his emotions at all, but when he did, it was fantastic. remembering him in that hat always makes me laugh; that's how i want him to stay.
i miss him.
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