i've realized that i have a most unfortunate fear, especially given my goals of completing a triathlon and running the 'valley of fire' half-marathon. here it is, in all it's irony: i'm afraid of running alone. it's not so much the personal safety issue as it is the health problems that scare me. it stems from two frightening experiences, the first happening in the summer of 2005. i was running with the pacemakers (again, thank you, irony), and it being deathly hot and humid, as it is wont to be in baltimore that time of year, i started to have what is similar to an asthma attack. i couldn't breathe, and my chest was closing in on me, and i almost passed out in a sketchy area of waverly. not awesome. i was then helped by those i can only describe as wonderful good samaritans. the other experience was last summer, at the rockville twilight trot. once again, it was hot and humid, and i completed the whole race, despite feeling terrible the whole time. i finish, feeling worse than i did during the race, sit down, and next thing i know, i'm coming to in the shady grove hospital ER with an IV pumping something into my arm. i have to hand it to the races who are very well organized, especially with emergency medical personnel at the ready.
anyway, those two events were scary enough that now i'm afraid to run outdoors by myself in the summer. my schedule is different enough from my running friends' that i don't have the luxury of having running buddies all the time. and, sadly, there's not a term that specifically identifies a fear of running. here are the closest ones i can find:
algophobia--fear of pain
asthenophobia--fear of weakness
ponophobia--fear of fatigue, especially from overworking (maybe the nearest i'll get?)
some of the most intriguing fears listed on this website have nothing to do with my running issue:
arachibutyrophobia--fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth
ballistophobia--fear of missiles
celtophobia--fear or dislike of Celts
homilophobia--fear of sermons
papaphobia--fear or dislike of the pope or papacy
two things: first, i have cross-checked my source, and these are professionally diagnosed phobias. second, my fear is certainly not clinical, and, related, i'm not trying to make light of people whose lives are massively impacted by such genuine, crippling fears. what i am doing is just being curious about the incredible variety of fears and the manner in which they shed light on our own psyches.
what do you fear?
anyway, those two events were scary enough that now i'm afraid to run outdoors by myself in the summer. my schedule is different enough from my running friends' that i don't have the luxury of having running buddies all the time. and, sadly, there's not a term that specifically identifies a fear of running. here are the closest ones i can find:
algophobia--fear of pain
asthenophobia--fear of weakness
ponophobia--fear of fatigue, especially from overworking (maybe the nearest i'll get?)
some of the most intriguing fears listed on this website have nothing to do with my running issue:
arachibutyrophobia--fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth
ballistophobia--fear of missiles
celtophobia--fear or dislike of Celts
homilophobia--fear of sermons
papaphobia--fear or dislike of the pope or papacy
two things: first, i have cross-checked my source, and these are professionally diagnosed phobias. second, my fear is certainly not clinical, and, related, i'm not trying to make light of people whose lives are massively impacted by such genuine, crippling fears. what i am doing is just being curious about the incredible variety of fears and the manner in which they shed light on our own psyches.
what do you fear?
2 comments:
What distance are you running now? I am looking at potentially doing 6 or 7 miles or so alone this coming weekend (although it may be very early) and I would definitely love the company.
Oh, I'll add that I also have a fear of running alone, although mine stems more from just the mental breakdown that I had at Marine Corps last year. Mine is less rational than yours is. I guess I'm just afraid of boredom, and that is just silly.
I'm also afraid of heights. I have a weird fear of dark pools of water, which I never share with anyone (but I guess I just did) and it's something I've had to conquer with the whole scuba diving thing, especially with night dives.
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